


Mi Vida

by BettyBourbon



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gun Violence, Inspired by Law & Order: SVU, Kidnapping, Pining Rafael Barba, Pride and Prejudice References, Sexual Harassment, Violence, jane austen inspired
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:07:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 61,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyBourbon/pseuds/BettyBourbon
Summary: Behind the sarcasm, Rafael was just tired. He wasn’t ready to be set up with another lawyer hunting acquaintance of Peter’s, no matter how good looking. Rafael could not remember the last time he’d even brought someone home let alone been in a relationship. He was married to his work and content with that. Or so he told himself.___________Pride and Prejudice inspired Barba/OC romance with a twist! Set between seasons 16-17 maybe later.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story 4 years ago now. I forgot about it almost completely until I realized there's nearly three new seasons of SVU I'm not caught up on. Where did the time go? So, obviously this timeline is a little AU. It is also loosely (very loosely) based off Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, because I love writing fics based on her work. It's just a fun, fluffy piece that I thought I would share in case anyone is as obsessed with dapper treasure that is Rafael Barba. I'm not sure how many chapters yet, but there's about 170 pages in word, so we'll see. :)
> 
> There's areas I didn't fill in well or fluff out when I first wrote it. I may fill in more now or may not. If there's parts you want me to add more to, feel free to comment and I can try to write more for those portions. I also am not super happy with the ending so I may play around with that. 
> 
> This ends before season 18 and I have yet to watch it. After I get published everything I've written, I'll let you lovely readers decide if you want more or as I watch the newest seasons, we'll see if the muse is there.
> 
> Enjoy and again, hit me up with any suggestions!

“Did you put the fire alarm system on test?”

“Yep.”

“Scaffolding permit go through?”

“Right here.”

“Dumpster permit?”

“Yep.”

“Well then where is it?”

“Jesus Christ, Em. It’s only eight, it’ll be here,” Nate reassured, grumbling about her impatience a little more under his breath.

With a huff, Emily took another sip of her coffee and eyed the sky with a look of warning. It was March and the weather had warmed enough for them to start work, but the gray clouds were ominous. She didn’t like the idea of starting on masonry work if more snow were on its way, but the owner and the schedule were constantly pushing forward, snow or no snow. 

“Have we gotten the submittal on the--”

Yelling interrupted her train of thought. The yelling, she was used to. When she first got into this line of work, she’d learned quickly to differentiate between angry yelling and a man just yelling across a building for an answer or a tool. This, however, was definitely angry yelling. Forgetting her question, Emily turned away from Nate just in time to catch one of the guys from her demo crew exchanging heated words with a man in what looked like a very expensive suit and overcoat. 

With another sip of coffee, Emily shrugged to Nate and walked lazily over to the arguing men. 

“Is there a problem?”

Livid green eyes flashed up to meet her own and for a second Emily was a bit uneasy, but she refused to show it. Instead, she calmly took another sip of coffee, raised her eyebrows and met the man’s eyes square. 

“No, I enjoy getting in public confrontations with construction workers on my morning commute,” the man snapped. Emily was so taken aback she couldn’t help but let out a snort into the top of her cup. This, however, only served to anger the man more. “Why, may I ask, is the sidewalk blocked with this mess of metal?”

“I apologize for the inconvenience,” Emily said, trying her best to hide her smirk. “We are in the process of setting up scaffolding.” 

“In a public right-of-way?” He spoke as if she had stripped off all her clothes and were sunbathing right there on the sidewalk. 

“Well, as you can probably see, we’re doing work on this house. Scaffolding is required to do the necessary repairs. So, yes. We will be setting up scaffolding. In a public right of way.”

For a moment, Mr. Suit was dumbstruck. Or at least he appeared to be. His eyes bulged and his mouth gaped slightly as he inhaled, not so soothingly, through his nose. “Well,” he blustered. “Do you at least have the proper permits or is that beyond your capability?”

“We have it right here, sir,” Nate stepped in, hastily pulling the permit from his clipboard and displaying it to the man. The smirk faded from Emily’s face and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from saying something she’d regret. 

“Good,” Mr. Suit clucked, adjusting his coat and pulling himself up to his full height. It didn’t help very much. Even at his full height, he was still eye to eye with Emily in her work boots. “I’d hate to have to call the Building Commissioner. I doubt your supervisor would like that much either.”

Both Nate and the crew member were silent, watching Emily out of the corner of their eye. She kept eye contact with the man for a few moments, before smiling politely. “I promise on your commute home, you will find no obstructions.”

* * *

“Rafael, just trust me on this one.”

“Trust you? Like I trusted you with Patrice? Or how about the blond? What was his name? Eric?”

“Albert. And I swear, Emily is different.”

This was not the first time that Peter was going to attempt to set Rafael up and it wasn’t going to be the last time, that Rafael was certain of. Rafael had met Peter Noyes in college. A trust fund kid from Manhattan, Peter had grown up to have a lucrative career in real estate (thanks in no small part to his family fortune), a happy second marriage, and a large house in Greenwich, he enjoyed nothing more than to play matchmaker with his old buddy Rafael when he was in town for charity or society events. 

“I never got my handkerchief back from Albert,” Rafael lamented, trying to avoid the current matchee. His usual means of deflection via snark and focusing on his cell phone instead of Peter didn’t appear to be working. 

“Albert! And will you at least just let me introduce you, Raf?”

“Why? So I can take her on one date and then never call her again? You must love setting these people up for failure.” 

Behind the sarcasm, Rafael was just tired. He wasn’t ready to be set up with another lawyer hunting acquaintance of Peter’s, no matter how good looking. Rafael could not remember the last time he’d even brought someone home let alone been in a relationship. He was married to his work and content with that. Or so he told himself. 

Peter frowned but was obviously not going to relent. Instead, he handed Rafael another scotch and began to guide the ADA back towards his wife. “You are such a fatalist. I’d like to say it’s one of your charms, but as your friend I must tell you it might be why you’re still a bachelor at forty.”

“There you two are!” Kathy was standing at a high table sipping wine with a brunette as Rafael and Peter approached. Peter gave Rafael a sidelong glance with a cocked eyebrow, hinting to be nice, but Rafael just snorted and took a long slug of his scotch. 

“Let me introduce a good friend of ours, Emily,” Kathy began as the brunette turned to Rafael. “Emily this is Peter’s friend from his Harvard days, Assistant District Attorney Rafael Barba. Rafael, this is Emily Reinhardt, she--”

“The construction worker.” 

It came out before he could stop it, but Rafael didn’t regret it. 

It had taken him a moment to realize where he recognized the woman from. He had to hand it to her, she cleaned up well. Had it not been for those very large, very blue eyes framed by those long lashes he might not have recognized her at all. Gone was the dirty sweatshirt and jeans. Instead she had on a knee length navy dress with tea length sleeves that formed perfectly to her body. While not slim nor athletic, he had to admit she made a pleasing figure. The dress tied at her waist and skimmed over her hips nicely.

He let his eyes admire her, eyebrows raised. He couldn’t help but do so, just as he couldn’t help the words that came out of his mouth next. “Did your boss get you into this event or is lawyer hunting a particular sport of yours?”

“Rafael--” Peter said warningly, but Emily let out a laugh. 

“You’ll have to excuse Mr. Barba. We caused a bit of a traffic jam for him when we were setting up for a project last month,” she calmly took a sip of her wine, her blue eyes read Rafael’s closely. “I’m afraid he’s still quite jaded about it.”

Rafael opened his mouth to retort, but Peter cut him off. “Ah, yes. That lovely brownstone! How’s it looking?”

“Good,” Emily answered, a genuine smile appearing on her face for the first time since Rafael appeared. “There’s been no unexpected surprises so we’re hoping to be finished by July and have the Montgomery’s moved in by August.”

Finishing off his scotch, Rafael signaled a passing waiter for another, only half paying attention to the idle conversation between Peter, Kathy, and Emily about her job. Finally, he interjected with a sigh, “So what exactly is your role on this project? Are you an assistant of some kind?”

Rafael’s eyebrows shot up as silence fell. He looked between his three companions, waiting for an answer. As he met Emily’s eyes, he couldn’t quite understand why her expression was half resigned and half disappointed. 

“It’s been lovely catching up. Let me know when you’re in town again,” Emily said to Kathy and Peter, looking away from Rafael. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Rafael watched her retreating backside.

“Really, Rafael?” Kathy scolded, a frown bringing down her thin lips as she eyed him over her wine glass. 

Rafael turned back to them and found the couple glaring at him. “What?” he asked, genuinely unsure of what he’d done wrong now. 

“Could you have made more of an ass of yourself?” Peter asked, rubbing his eyes as if tired at his friend’s antics. 

“Is that rhetorical?” Rafael exchanged his empty glass with the waiter for a full one. 

“I expect more from you, Rafael,” Kathy said curtly. “Especially with what you do for a living.”

“So she isn’t an assistant then?”

“It really is a wonder those female detectives you work with haven’t shot you yet.”

* * *

“Large hot black with a shot of espresso, please.”

“Isn’t it a little early for such a tall order?”

As Emily pulled cash out of her wallet, she glanced over her shoulder to see who made the comment. She almost groaned when she saw Mr. Suit. She knew his real name now, but Mr. Suit still seemed more fitting. There he was, standing behind her in line, practically sneering at her. He was smug as ever in yet another expensive color coordinated outfit, making her paint smeared jeans and sweat stained polo look down right grimey in his presence. The only pop of color she had in her outfit was the blue hard hat tucked under her arm. 

“Mr. Barba,” she responded simply, before paying and saying a quick ‘thank you’ to the cashier. 

“Miss Reinhardt,” Mr. Suit said with a smirk. “Triple espresso, please.”

Emily raised her eyebrows at him, trying not to roll her eyes, “Pot calling the kettle black, no?”

“One thing I do know construction workers and myself have in common is early start times,” Mr. Suit answered as he paid. When he was finished, he stepped to the side next to Emily and smiled at her. “I believe I learned that the hard way.”

His smile and green eyes were surprisingly unnerving, but Emily couldn’t let herself smile back. Instead, she pulled out her phone and began to respond to emails as she waited for her coffee. She was really not in the mood for this today. She had just spent the entire morning in a punchlist walkthrough with an owner’s rep who had directed all his questions at her male subordinates. The last thing she needed was to be talked down to by some stuck-up attorney who had accused her of being a gold digging assistant. 

Apparently, Mr. Suit had other plans, however. 

She heard him sigh and then clear his throat. “The Noyes’ are under the impression that I might have offended you the other night.” It sounded as though he had to force every word out of his mouth. It seemed like he wasn’t very practiced at apologizing. “If that’s the case, I want you to know that you misinterpreted.” 

“It’s fine.”

Emily took a few moments to finish sending an email before looking up to meet Mr. Suit’s gaze. He appeared genuinely surprised that she so readily accepted his apology and was looking at her with a skeptical expression. 

“Do you honestly think I’m not used to dealing with men like you?”

Lines formed on his forehead as his eyebrows shot up, now looking slightly amused. “Men like me?”

The barista called Emily’s order and she left Mr. Suit hanging as she went to retrieve it. “Old, white men who think that women have a certain place in the world.”

Mr. Suit’s mouth fell completely open and he was lost for words. “You think because you went to Harvard, wear expensive suits, and work in a fancy office that the world belongs to you. You get to sit up there on your high horse and pass judgement on us little people.”

The barista called Mr. Suit’s order but he didn’t move to retrieve it. 

“Well guess what? You’re no different from the other dozens of pompous, rich pricks I have to convince on a daily basis that no, I am not an assistant.”

Finding his words finally, Mr. Suit began to stammer out, “You don’t even know--”

“Have a great day, Mr. Barba.”

Emily gave him a curt nod and left him standing there as the barista continued calling out his name.


	2. Chapter 2

“I will never understand why you choose to live in the middle of nowhere,” Rafael drawled as he squinted his eyes against the setting sun. He glowered out across the freshly mowed lawn, feeling bad for the poor bastard who had to mow the giant thing. 

“And I’ll never understand why you love that tiny apartment you insist on paying so much for,” Kathy shot back, not bothering to look up from her phone. “You don’t even have a closet.”

“I have a closet,” Rafael corrected, incredulous. “Just because it isn’t a walk-in--”

“I’ve seen it,” Kathy interrupted. “It barely fits all your suits.”

“What are you two arguing about now?” Peter joined them, taking a seat at the patio table. He set down a glass of scotch in front of Rafael who took it with a nod of thanks. 

“Rafael is complaining about nature,” Kathy sighed. “Again.”

Peter laughed, but Rafael grimaced as he shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the chair. He ignored the rest of their teasing and attempted to enjoy his scotch, despite the slightly unsettling amount of quiet. Their voices went in one ear and out the other as he sipped. Suddenly, though, his brain registered another voice, another female’s. Cocking open one eye, he nearly groaned when he saw who it was. 

If Emily saw him, she pretended she didn’t. Rafael narrowed his eyes at her from behind his aviators. She was turned partially away from him, leaning over the back of the chair to his right. Despite the flare of anger and embarrassment in his chest, his eyes wandered up her legs, admiring how her tight jeans accentuated her thighs. As she flipped her dark hair back over her shoulder, he caught a scent of something flowery -- her perfume or shampoo maybe -- and his head went a little fuzzy. 

“It’s only a three-hour drive,” Emily was explaining. “It really isn’t a hassle. It’s nice to get a break from driving before I hit traffic going back into the city.”

“Still, it’s very thoughtful of you,” Kathy insisted. “Isn’t it Rafael?”

Gritting his teeth, Rafael was suddenly grateful his sunglasses shielded the glare he was casting at the blonde. He could see Emily turning to glance at him out of the corner of his eyes, but he kept his gaze firmly on Kathy across the table. 

“I’m sure,” he responded dryly before taking another slug of scotch. 

“Well, you must stay for dinner at least before you head back in,” Peter said, and Rafael wanted to throw his drink at him. 

“I don’t want to intrude,” Emily said quickly. 

“No, not at all!” Kathy insisted. “You must! We insist.”

Rafael could see Emily shift from one foot to the other, but she finally relented. “Well, if you insist.”

“Good,” Peter said as he stood and waved Emily back towards the house. “Now, shall we get down to business?”

Glancing over his shoulder at the retreating pair, Rafael tried to think of a way to get out of dinner, but Kathy must have heard his thoughts as she cleared her throat once the two were out of earshot. “Rafael,” Kathy said, warning in her voice. “Please don’t be rude.”

“You know very well that’s a promise I probably cannot keep.”

* * *

They had made it through their salads without any obvious signs of hostility, but Emily still couldn’t help but notice how Rafael refused to meet her gaze. In fact, he seemed more interested in the painting behind her shoulder than in any of the conversation. His haughty demeanor and seeming disdain for the company only confirmed her appraisal of him from the month before in the coffee shop. 

Upon seeing him that afternoon, she admittedly had felt embarrassed. She’d been angry and frustrated. Not just by him, but by the majority of the men in her life and she’d taken it out on him. A part of her had been worried she’d overreacted, but as she watched him glower into his plate, Emily felt reaffirmed. He only proved her case more when he finally spoke. 

“Emily just got back from visiting her family in Boston,” Peter explained to Rafael, attempting to engage him in the conversation. 

“Well, that explains it,” he said under his breath, but Emily still caught it. He glanced up and met her gaze defiantly. When she raised an eyebrow at him, he explained, “Beacon Hill, is it?” A sinking feeling started in the pit of Emily’s stomach. “Or is it the Back Bay? New money?”

“Rafael--” Kathy started, her voice quiet, but Emily cut her off.

“Dorchester,” she said simply. “Uphams’ Corner. My parents raised me and my five siblings in a duplex behind a packie on thirty thousand a year.” 

Feeling her hands start to shake, she took a deep breath and focused on her wine glass instead of the silence that had fallen on the table. She took a small sip before saying, “They finally bought a house after fifty years of renting, though no. It isn’t in Beacon Hill.”

“How about another bottle of wine?” Peter said awkwardly, trying to diffuse the obvious tension. 

When Emily finally glanced up a moment later, she caught Rafael’s eye. While he was watching her, his gaze steady, she could not read the expression in his eyes. She held his gaze for a moment, her jaw set, before she engaged Kathy in a conversation about her daughters. 

As she was walking to her truck later that evening, she heard the door shut once more behind her. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Rafael walking towards her across the driveway. Rolling her eyes, Emily continued on her way to her car, but he was quicker than she was. 

“Emily, please wait,” he called out to her. 

“You are just determined to insult me every time we encounter each other, aren’t you?” she asked under her breath as she searched for her keys in her purse. 

“I just want to apologize,” he said quietly as he stopped beside her. 

“There’s no need,” Emily insisted. She finally fished her keys out and looked up at him. “You’ve made your opinion of me very clear, Mr. Barba.”

“And you have of me,” he retorted. 

Not able to deny it, Emily was silent. Meeting his gaze defiantly. Was she wrong? All he had done so far had only seemed to prove her right. 

Sighing, Rafael thrust his hands into his pockets and continued to glare back at her. “I know you dislike me. I know you think that I’m just some rich asshole who’s set on judging you--”

“Am I wrong?” Emily demanded. “You have done nothing but make assumptions about me since the first time we met.”

“Yes, and I’m sorry for it,” he insisted. Emily was slightly taken aback by the look of sincere regret in his eyes. “But you’re not completely innocent, Miss Reinhardt. You have had your mind made up about me just by looking at me.”

She couldn’t deny it and she wasn’t going to apologize for it. Continuing to meet his gaze, she said slowly, “And I think I’ve come to a pretty good conclusion.” He opened his mouth to retort, but Emily stopped him as she unlocked her truck, “For Peter and Kathy’s sake, we can be civil, but I wouldn’t dream of demeaning you by making you endure the companionship of a lowly construction worker from Dorchester more often than necessary.”

Not waiting for him to respond, she got into her truck and slammed the door.


	3. Chapter 3

“What’s the matter with you lately?”

Rafael didn’t make eye contact with his mother as they left the bakery. While he didn’t get out of to the Bronx often enough to visit his mother and abuela, he’d been making a more concerted effort since the election almost a year ago. He had to admit, it forced him to remember his roots a little more and made him feel guilty for not staying closer to home sooner. It had been a few weeks since he’d received a lecture from a certain blue-eyed woman, but it still stuck with him and made him feel even worse. Did he really come off as a pompous, rich gringo? 

“I normally can’t get you to shut up. Is it something bad? Tell me!”

“No, mami. Everything’s fine.” 

And he wasn’t lying. Work hadn’t been more stressful than usual. The stress of the spring cases led to an easier summer. He’d taken two weekends off, though Carmen kept hinting he needed an actual vacation. He had even let Peter set him up again, with a woman whose name he’d inevitably forgotten as soon as he left the restaurant. 

“Mhm. You never have nothing to say, Mr. Loudmouth. You can’t even talk to your mother now?” 

“Let’s just deliver your pastelitos so I can get to the train, okay?” 

With a huff, Lucia relented and fell into silence as they approached the church, but Rafael knew her skepticism wouldn’t be silenced long so he changed the subject. 

“Why are you bringing them food again? Aren’t they just doing work on the building? I’m sure they can feed themselves.”

Lucia clicked her tongue. “They are doing a great kindness for the community, mijo. We just want them to know we appreciate it.”

The Catholic church in the neighborhood Rafael had grown up in was the center of the community. He couldn’t count the number of masses, baptisms, communions, weddings, funerals, etc. he’d attended in that humble cathedral. Not only was the relatively modest brick structure the center of religious life, but it housed the local food pantry and the only women’s shelter in the neighborhood was attached in a concrete building to the rear. Lack of funds had threatened to shut it down multiple times. While the neighborhood was generous with what money they had, there never seemed to be enough for all the necessary repairs that needed to be done. And there were many. 

Rafael let out a low whistle as they rounded the corner and the church came into view. The entire building was surrounded by metal staging. It appeared that half of the building had already had its mortar replaced and Rafael couldn’t help but be impressed. The stained-glass windows had been removed for restoration and were temporarily replaced with plywood blanks. 

The main doors to the sanctuary were open and the scaffolding erected around it to allow visitors and workers in. Rafael and his mother slid inside past another local from the neighborhood who was leaving. His jaw hit the floor when he looked up and saw the scaffolding on the interior went all the way up to the ceiling. The ceilings were halfway done being repainted though it appeared that all the workers had already left for the day. 

“Lucia! It’s good to see you! Did the students enjoy the tour yesterday?”

“Yes, I think they all want to go into preservation now.”

“Their parents will be so disappointed.”

Rafael could barely hear his mother talking to another woman as he stood, staring slack jawed around the sanctuary. 

“Before I forget, I printed out some pictures of the progress for your mother. I know she’s eager to see how it’s going. Tell her I’ll get her some more when we’re closer to being finished.”

“Oh, she’ll love that. Won’t she Rafael? Rafael!”

Rafael blinked and turned to his mother who was about ten feet away talking to a woman who was all too familiar. 

“Mr. Barba?”

The look on her face was somewhere between surprise and embarrassment. Rafael, in a rare moment of weakness, stared down at his shoes to compose himself before looking back up and smiling shakily. 

“Hello, Miss Reinhardt.”

“Wait, you two know each other?” Lucia looked between them before her eyes widened with panic and she looked at Rafael, “Not from work!”

“No, mami!” Rafael answered quickly, giving her a warning look, ignoring Emily’s obvious confusion. “Miss Reinhardt was working on a project in my neighborhood a few months ago and she’s also friends with Peter and Kathy.”

“Your neighborhood,” Lucia tutted, rolling her eyes. “This is your neighborhood, Rafi.”

Rafael sighed and pretended to find the architectural plans on the folding table behind his mother very interesting. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Emily, her eyes narrow and mouth slightly agape pointing between the two. “So, you’re...his mother?” 

As if saved by the bell, Rafael felt his cell phone buzz. It was only a text from Benson asking if he had a minute to talk, but he took it as an out. 

“Sorry, I have to take this, and I should get going anyways.” He kissed his mother on the cheek and nodded to Emily who still looked completely taken aback. “It was nice to see you again, Miss Reinhardt.”

“You, too, Mr. Barba.”

* * *

Emily was barely listening to the three men on the conference call deflect questions and try to pass the buck. Her mind was a mile away from discussions about correct fire rated doors for wheelchair lifts or who was responsible for ordering phone lines for security systems. She let the men blather on as she tapped her fingers against her coffee cup and rested her cheek on her palm. 

She couldn’t stop thinking about a certain green-eyed prosecutor. When he’d shown up here that afternoon, she hadn’t even recognized him. He was no longer Mr. Suit, hell he wasn’t even wearing a suit. He looked like a normal person in jeans and a blazer. Sure, maybe a little out of place for the Bronx, but more human somehow. 

To find out he was Lucia’s son was a bigger shock to the system. Lucia and her mother had been visiting Emily since the project began two months ago and both women had gushed about the prodigal son. A first-generation Cuban American from the Bronx, full ride to Harvard, now a successful Manhattan ADA. Emily had never once dreamed it would be Mr. Suit. She felt like an asshole. Her mind kept replaying all the things she’d said to him, how she’d judged him. 

“You’re not innocent,” he’d said when she’d accused him of judging her so wrongly. Now come to find out, he had been right. She felt like she didn’t even know the man she’d hated for all these months.

“Emily, when are you going to get us an approval on the condenser units?”

“When are you going to get me the specs I asked for?”

“I sent them to you yesterday.”

“Yes, but there was conveniently no information on height and whether they required a pad. I can’t make a decision on that until I know if I’ll have to deal with complaining neighbors.”

As she began listening to another tangent, she heard the door to her temporary office creak open. She put herself on mute as the men continued to argue about height and sound ordinances. Looking up, she was shocked to find Rafael Barba looking slightly meek for the second time today at her job site. 

“Is this a bad time? I can leave?” he said so quickly, Emily thought he might choke.

“No, no,” she replied, waving him closer. “Just gimme a minute.”

“What about the floor? We really want an answer on that by Monday,” her super interjected. 

“Do we have the options weighed out?” she asked, watching Rafael edge closer cautiously. 

“Yes, option one is--”

“Good. Put it in writing. I’ll review it and get back to you tomorrow.”

“But what about--”

“It’s past nine, boys,” Emily spoke over them all. “Give it a rest and go home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Not waiting for any objections, she hung up the call and let out a sigh. She rubbed the tiredness out of her eyes, partially to avoid having to look up at Rafael just yet. 

“They shouldn’t make you work so late,” he said quietly, eying the mess of papers and empty coffee cups that littered the door blank on sawhorses that were her desk. 

Emily laughed and looked up at him with a soft smile. “I bring it upon myself, believe me.”

Rafael frowned slightly and Emily let out another sigh. She stood up and began to organize invoices and drawings as she spoke, not able to make eye contact with him. “I owe you an apology, Mr. Barba. It was out of line what I said to you the last time we spoke.” She paused, shuffling papers from hand to hand and trying to find the words. Finally, with a deep breath, she looked up at him. “I was harsh and I’m sorry.”

Now it was Rafael’s turn to avoid eye contact as he absentmindedly played with a pen from her desk. “You weren’t wrong,” he said softly. “I can be a pompous prick and...I’m sorry.”

Silence passed between them for several very long seconds as they both avoided looking at each other at the same time. Finally, Rafael took an envelope out of his breast pocket and worried it between his fingers. “I didn’t come here to apologize, however, or accept an apology.”

Emily raised an eyebrow and finally looked up at him with confusion. 

“I...You’re...This project is really important to this community -- to my community -- and I would like to contribute if you would be so kind to give this to whoever is in charge of the finances,” he said quickly as he handed her the envelope. Emily remained silent as she took it from him and opened it. When she saw the four zeros at the end of the check, Emily was slightly concerned he’d lost his mind, but she also felt her heart ache slightly at his generosity. 

“Mr. Barba -- Rafael,” she said his name and her stomach flipped. “This is really not necessary.” 

“It’s not nearly enough, I know, but you and the other people who work here still need to be paid while this project is going on. My mother said this project was being done pro bono--”

“Yes, it is, but--”

“But someone has to pay the workers -- pay you -- and I would like to help with that if I could.”

“It’s not necessary,” Emily repeated and when Rafael opened his mouth to object once more she continued, “It isn’t necessary because I am paying the workers.”

He blinked at her and then narrowed his eyes, tilting his head to one side. “You’re paying them?”

“Yes,” Emily said as she slid the check back into the envelope and held it out to him. 

Emily was certain that Rafael was not used to being this confused. He seemed like the type of man was never outwitted, however this appeared to completely stump him. “But I don’t...you work for a contractor; how do you have that type of money?”

Realizing that he was not going to take the check out of her hand, she set it in front of him and folded her arms over her chest. “Do you remember last year when Peter invested in that art deco apartment building on the west side?”

Rafael’s eyes narrowed even further. “Yes.”

“Do you remember the construction firm he had do the renovations?”

“Yes, some big firm that specializes in historic buildings. Cost him a mint. Reinhardt Construction and…” His words trailed off as he looked at her and suddenly it dawned on him. “And you are--”

“The owner of Reinhardt Construction and Restoration, Inc.,” she said, as she sat back heavily into her chair. 

“Well,” Rafael said, his hand running through the hair on the back of his neck as he looked anywhere but at Emily. “Now that I’ve made a total idiot of myself--”

“Rafael,” Emily started but she was interrupted as her phone began to ring.

“I’m sorry to have bothered you, Miss Reinhardt. I won’t keep you any longer. Good night.”

And with that he was gone. Emily watched him go as she let her phone go to voicemail. It wasn’t until she was packing up her bag to head home for the night that she realized he’d left the check.


	4. Chapter 4

“Carmen, hold my calls. I need to go over to the precinct.”

When Rafael heard heels clicking on the floor of his office, he didn’t even bother looking up from his desk. His jacket was off, sleeves rolled up, and tie slightly loosened as he immersed himself in taking notes for his upcoming trial. 

“Oh. I’ll let her know on my way out. I can come back or just call later.”

At the sound of Emily’s voice, Rafael finished the line he was writing and looked up slowly to see her standing a few feet in front of his desk, shifting from foot to foot. His eyebrows raised slightly at her outfit: a fitted white shirt tucked into bright red dress pants with a loud flower pattern, a blush colored blazer and pumps to match. He felt like whistling. 

“Nice pants,” he said with a smile as he dropped his pen and stood up. 

She smiled at him, making his heart skip a beat. “Nice tie,” she countered, gesturing to the pink and blue striped tie he’d chosen to pair with a brown pinstriping. “I was in the neighborhood for a meeting, I figured I’d stop in, but if you’re busy--”

“Please, it’s no trouble,” Rafael interrupted as he stopped in front of her. He stuck his hands into his pockets and leaned back against his desk. “Though I assume you’re not here to swap fashion advice.”

Emily let out a small laugh. “No, I actually came to ask about Eduardo Garcia.”

It was difficult enough maintaining a casual composure in front of Emily after he’d thoroughly embarrassed himself in front of her the last time they’d met, but as soon as she asked about Eddie, Rafael couldn’t help but appear genuinely shocked. “Eddie? Why in the world do you want to ask about him?”

“He listed you as a reference,” Emily said, her eyebrows raising slightly as her arms crossed over her chest. Her blue eyes were now very serious as she watched Rafael’s reaction closely. 

“A reference?” Rafael sputtered out, disbelieving. “As in for a job? For you?”

“Yes, he came by the site last week and left his resume. We’re hiring right now and he seems like he’d be a good fit,” she explained, now sounding unsure. 

Rafael pushed away from his desk and paced over to the window. He ran a hand up the back of his neck and through his hair as he thought for a few moments. “You are aware he has a record?”

“He was forthcoming about that,” she said slowly. “If you don’t think I should hire him, just tell me.”

“No, it’s not that,” Rafael said quietly. He took a deep breath to calm himself and then turned to face her once more. “Eddie is a good man, a hard worker, and loyal. Very loyal.” He was quiet for a moment as he moved back towards the desk, staring at the paperwork he needed copied rather than the woman in front of him. “If you treat him with respect and kindness, he’ll do whatever you ask of him.”

It was silent between them for a few long moments as they both thought, but finally Emily cleared her throat and spoke. “That was my gut feeling, but I wanted your confirmation. Thank you, Mr. Barba. Now I’ll let you get back to work.”

She was almost to the door when Rafael spoke up. “Emily,” he called out and she stopped, turning slightly to meet his weary gaze. “Word of warning: not everyone in the Bronx is as genuine as Eddie. Please, be cautious.”

The intensity in his eyes and words seemed to unnerve her. “Noted,” she said quietly before leaving.

* * *

“I haven’t seen enough of you lately. You really need to stop working so hard,” Kathy scolded her as both women took their drinks from the bartender. “Though Peter doesn’t help with keeping you busy at the new building. What about that other one you’re working on in the Bronx? Is that almost done?”

Emily took a sip of her wine and shifted slightly to attempt to adjust the dress she was wearing. She’d changed in a hurry and had only just remembered she didn’t wear this dress often for a reason. It had the tendency to ride up her thighs -- an area of her body she was not comfortable with -- and forced her to constantly work to discreetly pull it back down to knee length. 

“They’re having their first service there again this Sunday. Hopefully the community is pleased with the finished product.”

Kathy rolled her eyes playfully. “Well, Rafael said they are. According to him, you’re practically a saint there now, Emily.”

“I doubt he said that,” Emily blushed. “You exaggerate too much. Let’s go find our table.”

“You can ask him yourself,” Kathy insisted as she let Emily guide them to their table. “He and Peter are around here somewhere. Oh, look! It’s Jackie!”

There was a moment of reprieve for Emily as Kathy was distracted in conversation with some other acquaintance. They all took their seats at their table though half of their table mates appeared to be missing. 

Emily let the two women talk as she took a minute to collect herself. Her head swirled slightly just thinking of having to face Rafael again. She’d known she’d probably see him tonight, but it didn’t stop her heart from thumping so loud she could hear it in her ears. After her visit to his office, watching him in his element and seeing the intensity in his eyes, Emily had to finally admit to herself that she had a crush. It made her feel immature and weak. She did not like it, but the fact remained and so did the reality of his presence. 

“Is this seat taken?”

Looking up, her eyes made contact with those familiar green ones and she couldn’t help but smile. 

“No, feel free.”

Emily tried to distract herself with her phone, responding to text messages and seeing how many missed calls she had, to keep herself from watching him as he sat next to her. It didn’t help any, though, as she could still feel him shifting in his chair as he unbuttoned his jacket. She could still smell the subtle cologne he wore mixed with the scotch he was drinking. 

“Are you excited for Sunday?” Rafael asked quietly, pulling her away from her silent musings about what brand of cologne he wore. 

Emily glanced up at him once more and met his gaze. “Yes, nervous, but excited,” she admitted with a sheepish smile. “I’ve only attended Catholic mass once in my life and even then, I was lost.”

Rafael chuckled. “Don’t worry, just follow along with everyone else. Kneel when they do, stand when they do. You’ll be fine.”

“You have more faith in me than I do,” Emily responded, glancing down at her wine glass. 

“If you can put up with three months in the South Bronx with my mother visiting you every day, you can handle one Catholic service,” Rafael teased, a smirk tugging at his lips. 

At this Emily let out a loud laugh, shaking her head at him. “That’s not fair. Your mother is lovely. Besides it wasn’t every day, it was every other day.”

Having been immersed in their own conversation, both had failed to notice that the rest of their table had joined them, and salads had been served. Forcing herself to look away from Rafael, Emily put her napkin in her lap and glanced around at the rest of their companions. When she saw the man seated across from her, she felt slightly nauseous. 

“Ma’am?”

“I’m sorry?” Emily had been temporarily so distraught; she hadn’t even heard the waiter ask her three times already whether she would like more wine. “Oh, yes. Please.”

While Emily had forced herself to look away from Rafael, when she glanced at him quickly out of the corner of her eye, she realized that he was watching her intently. “Are you alright?” he asked, leaning closer so only she could hear. 

“Yes, fine. Thank you.”

They made it through to dinner without any confrontation. Emily made small talk with Jackie to her left as Rafael continued to make concerned eye contact with her whenever she found herself glancing to the right. In turn, she avoided talking to him and instead counted the minutes until she could leave. It was as dessert was being placed in front of them that disaster struck. 

“The Lennox? Ah, Emily, didn’t you work on that project as well?” It was Peter who asked across the table in the middle of a discussion with the man on his left. A man Emily knew all too well to be a Mr. Stephen McKeown. 

“Yes, I did,” Emily responded simply, hoping that would be the end of it, but Steve did not let it go. 

He eyed her across the table as he shoved another mouthful chocolate tart in his mouth. “You were on that project? What’s your name, girl?”

Emily fumed silently. Even at thirty-two years old, it was still ‘girl.’ “Emily Reinhardt.”

“Huh, can’t say I remember the name.”

“You wouldn’t,” Emily said quietly into her wine glass before taking another sip. Only Rafael caught it and she could feel him shift next to her as he tensed. 

“The only girl I remember from that project was…”

When it dawned on him, his entire demeanor changed. Emily looked across the table at him and she was no longer looking at just another donor at a charity event. She was back on the witness stand, staring across the courtroom into Steve’s sneering face. 

Steve laughed without humor and put down his fork. He leaned back in his chair and narrowed his eyes at her across the table. Emily did her best to keep herself sitting tall and meet his eyes without fear. It was difficult though as that old anger welled up in the pit of her stomach. 

“Did Emily ever tell you about how that project ended, Mr. Noyes?” Steve asked as he swished his whiskey in the glass. Peter eyed Emily with a slightly curious expression and by this point most of the table was listening with the exception of Kathy and Jackie who were still deep in conversation. 

Steve didn’t wait for Peter to answer and charged on. “Emily here destroyed one of the city’s best construction firms for her own gain. She must be quite proud of herself.”

“I’m shocked you’re willing to give a girl credit for anything, Steve, let alone such a feat,” Emily responded evenly. “Besides, I think we both know Tulane Construction was broken long before I arrived.”

“Broken?” Steve laughed again. “That company was worth millions. How much did you make off that settlement again, Reinhardt? Five? Ten million? I was one of the lucky ones who got out before she dragged all our names through the mud,” Steve addressed the last part to Peter and the rest of the table, who by now were all trying not to seem too interested. 

“You were lucky you all got out without assault charges,” Emily snapped, her voice raising. 

Steve’s face began to turn red and he leaned over the table, his eyes bulging as he glared at her. “You destroyed dozens of lives and reputations and you can still sit there on your high horse?”

“And how many women’s lives had you all destroyed long before I ever arrived? Was I supposed to sit back and let you destroy mine, too?” By this point, Emily was practically shouting. When she stopped for a breath she looked around and realized the entire table aside from Steve was staring at her, mouths hanging open. Tears burning at her eyes, she stood up and grabbed her purse. “If you’re expecting me to apologize for being put through a year of hell, I’m going to have to disappoint you.”

As she walked away, she could hear Steve still blowing smoke at the rest of the table. It wasn’t until she got outside that she realized she’d left her cell phone on the table. With a grunt of frustration, she leaned against the stonewall of the hotel and took a deep breath. She hugged her arms around herself, trying to decide if it might not just be worth buying another cell phone instead of facing him again. 

“Did you see a brunette come out here? Green dress?”

Emily heard him talking to the doorman and she was tempted to walk away as quickly as possible, but it was too late. The doorman had already pointed in her direction. 

“You forgot this,” he said, holding out her iPhone. 

She quickly wiped at her eyes before she reached out and took it, hand shaking. “Thanks, sorry to cause such a--”

“Emily, please don’t apologize.” The gentleness in his voice was soothing and reassuring, but she couldn’t bear to look up and see his face. She didn’t want to know what she would see there, but experience told her it would only be fake pity and judgement. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“God knows what you must think of me,” she whispered more to herself than to him. “You must think I played the ‘girl-card’ to advance my career.”

“You want to know what I think?” She felt a warm hand squeeze her elbow and she looked up. Rafael’s face was calm, but there was something in his eyes that Emily couldn’t quite read. Sadness, anger? “I think I see a woman who already had to confront her attackers once and was just forced to do it again. I see a woman who is incredibly brave and intelligent. While she might be a little scathing with her words,” at this Emily let out a small laugh. “No one can take credit for your career but you.” 

Emily searched his eyes for a long moment, still a bit overwhelmed by his words of reassurance. He met her gaze without wavering, his hand still gently holding her arm as if to help her steady herself. “Thank you, Rafael,” was all she could say before she broke eye contact and awkwardly stared down at her cell phone. 

“Can I get you a cab or walk you home?”

“No, no. I’ll be fine,” she said quietly, brushing her hair back from her face as she looked out over the curb for a taxi. Rafael didn’t pay much attention, however, as he signaled the doorman to hail her a cab. When one pulled up a moment later, Rafael walked her over and helped her inside.

Before he shut the door, Rafael leaned inside the cab and grinned at her. “Don’t let the pompous, rich gringo ruin your night, Emily,” he teased. Emily wanted to groan, but when she glanced up at his face, she was surprised to see kindness in his eyes. “You’ve got bigger balls than he’ll ever have.”

* * *

When Rafael returned from court preparation, he was too preoccupied with answering messages and checking emails to notice the box that had appeared on the table in his office. 

“Carmen,” he called out from his office door. “Where’d this box come from?”

His secretary turned from the copier to respond. “A courier dropped it off this morning.”

“Who’s it from?”

“He didn’t say,” she said, suddenly realizing her folly. “But the note should say, shouldn’t it?”

Rafael had half a mind to call the bomb squad, but he took a deep breath and tried to bury his paranoia surrounding the recent sex trafficking ring they’d taken down. He cast Carmen an annoyed look before returning slowly to the table and examining the box in question. It wasn’t overtly suspicious, but he didn’t often find small wooden boxes lying in his office from unknown senders. 

With a breath of foreboding, he slowly slid off the top and found an envelope sitting on top of packaging material. Pushing the material aside, he felt all of the air in his lungs suddenly escape him and he froze. Sitting before him was a bottle of Highland Park Reserve, 1902 Reserve. 

He picked it up and held it in his hands, his fingers smudging away god only knew how many years of dust. The seal was still intact, and he heard himself laugh in disbelief. He’d only ever seen this scotch in the most elite clubs. He’d never even dreamed about owning one. 

“Mr. Barba? Mr. Barba!” Carmen called to him from the doorway. “Is it alright?”

Shaking himself, he set the bottle on the table and took a heavy seat. “Yes, yes,” he said, waving his hand at her. “Everything’s fine, Carmen. Thank you.”

Rafael sat examining the bottle for a few minutes. His elbows resting on the arms of the chair and his chin resting on the palm on his hand, he simply gazed at the bottle and marveled at the idea of someone sending him such a gift. For all of his power of deduction, he couldn’t comprehend it. 

Suddenly, he remembered the note he was still holding in his other hand. Tearing his eyes away from the bottle, he opened the note. 

_To make up for tearing you away from your drink last night and to apologize for my behavior towards you in the past. You have proven yourself to be a true gentleman, Mr. Barba, a very rare thing._

_Yours,_

_E. R._

_P.S._

_Don’t even think of returning it. I prefer bourbon._


	5. Chapter 5

“Are you going to keep me in suspense all night?” Kathy demanded. “Or are you just going to tell me already?”

“Tell you what?”

Though Emily feigned ignorance, she had a good idea of what Kathy was getting at. The multiple text messages asking her point blank whether her and Rafael were dating had given the older woman away. 

Emily, however, was not ready to confirm or deny and would much rather have spent the evening as she’d intended to: drinking away her stress and celebrating the completion of yet another Noyes-Reinhardt collaboration. Standing in the crowded lobby of the old Soho warehouse that they had just finished converting into apartments, Emily tried to feel proud of the accomplishment but all she could see was a small spot on the wall by the stairs where the air bubbles in the plaster must have caused little dents. 

“I’ll have to get Liz over here on Monday,” she groaned, ignoring Kathy as she glared at the spot on the wall. 

“Seriously, Emily!” Kathy scolded. 

“What? No one may have noticed it yet, but that’s all I’m going to see when I walk in here from now on.”

“Not the wall, woman,” Kathy hissed. “When are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and Rafael?”

Rolling her eyes and taking her hand away from the wall, Emily looked Kathy in the eye and answered honestly, “There is absolutely nothing going on. Your imagination is just running wild.”

“Is it really?” Kathy asked, skeptical as ever. “A month ago, the two of you couldn’t stand each other. I couldn’t even get the two of you in the same room without tricking you. Then Tuesday at the charity dinner, not only did you actually sit next to each other but you both were making eyes at each other all night--”

“We were not,” Emily interrupted her monologue. “We were being polite, Kathy. We are both adults. We can be civil.”

“Civil is one thing,” Kathy went on, making Emily sigh. “But the way he stood up for you against that awful man when you walked out, that seemed personal. Even Peter thought so.”

“What are you talking about? He just brought me my phone.”

“Yes, after he told what’s-his-name--”

“Steve?”

“Yes, that awful man,” Kathy grimaced. “After he essentially told Steve to take his opinion of you and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.”

Emily couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh. While Kathy was paraphrasing, she had been on the receiving end of Mr. Barba’s venom enough times to imagine what he had said to her former boss. A part of her wished she’d been there to see it. 

“Peter was amazed,” Kathy drawled. “He’s never seen Rafael get so defensive in public.”

“He was just being a gentleman,” Emily assured her, turning away to look out across the room so Kathy wouldn’t see the hope in her eyes.

“You’re honestly telling me the two of you aren’t dating?”

“Kathy, you said it yourself,” Emily insisted. “We hated each other until a month ago. Why would we date?”

Emily tried to keep her eyes on the light across the room, but as Kathy stayed silent her curiosity got the better of her and she glanced back at the blonde. Kathy was surveying her with narrowed eyes, trying to read her. When Kathy finally caught site of the look in Emily’s eyes, she let out a whoop of victory. 

“You are interested in him! Don’t deny it!” she said, holding up her hand before Emily could argue. “Before you go on making excuses, you should know I’m certain he feels the same.”

“You can’t be certain,” Emily argued. Her stomach was doing somersaults at the idea that her secret crush was now out in the open, but it also felt like a slight relief to have it off her chest. On the other hand, “If you tell him, Kathy, so help me--”

Kathy just chuckled and patted Emily’s arm. “Don’t worry. If he can’t figure it out on his own, he’s not as smart as he thinks he is.”

* * *

It was a Friday night and Rafael would much rather have been at home on his couch, drinking a glass of scotch, and finishing the book he’d started more than a year ago but had yet to finish. Instead, he’d actually taken Peter up on the invitation of some grand-opening party for his latest apartment rehab. As he leaned against the bar and waited for his drink, he half wondered what he’d been thinking in coming. Then a small voice reminded him: You came to see her.

Seeing Emily here had been his ulterior motive in coming. He’d spotted her as soon as he’d walked in. She was standing next to the stairs, talking with Kathy. She looked absolutely lovely and Rafael’s stomach tied itself into knots as he watched her. Her black dress hugged her curves, the short sleeves falling off her shoulders. Her hair was pulled up and the bright red lipstick she wore showed off her full lips. She was beautiful and when she tipped her head back to laugh loudly at something Kathy said, she was even more so. 

It wasn’t as though Rafael didn’t find women -- hell, or men -- attractive on a regular basis. He was an avid admirer of the human form and appreciated it often, but from afar. It had been a long time since he’d actually felt the urge to take an attraction anywhere further than subtle glances or coy flirting. There was something about Emily Reinhardt, however. The way she called him out on his bullshit, the way she could look just as stunning in a cocktail dress as she did in dirty jeans, the way her blue eyes met his and refused to back down. She was different and she was perfect. 

“Don’t waste your time,” someone suddenly said beside him. Rafael tore his eyes away from Emily and looked over at the man who’d appeared beside him. Giving him the once over, Rafael arched his eyebrow at the man who looked to be in his early to mid-thirties. His red hair was perfectly gelled and he wore a trim suit, though Rafael noted that his pocket square was horribly matched to his tie. 

“Excuse me?” Rafael asked as he picked up his scotch and took a sip. 

“I said don’t bother,” the man repeated, nodding across the room at Emily. “That girl’s hot, but she’s a complete tease.”

“You know her?” Rafael asked, doing his best not to clench his jaw. 

“Yeah, our firm does work with her sometimes,” the man explained, his eyes still looking across the room at Emily. Rafael felt himself tense up at the expression on his face. He looked almost possessive. “I’ve asked her out half a dozen times and she always makes an excuse. A bunch of other guys have said the same thing. She’s a frigid bitch. Rumor has it she might swing for the other team, if you catch my drift.”

The redhead grinned at Rafael as if he were letting him in on an inside joke, but Rafael simply blinked at him, face unimpressed. 

“Look, just trying to give you some friendly advice,” the man said finally, clapping Rafael on the shoulder. Rafael looked down at the hand on his jacket, holding back a face of disgust. “She’s turned down richer and,” the man smiled as he added, “younger men than you.”

“How about I give you some advice,” Rafael said after another gulp of scotch. “Calling a woman a ‘frigid bitch’ isn’t necessarily the best way to her heart. Also, a woman’s not a tease just because she turns down a man who is so desperate he can’t take a hint the first time.”

Brushing off the hand that was on his shoulder, Rafael looked up to see that his companion’s face was almost as red as his hair. 

“And next time you leave the house,” Rafael said, waving at the man’s outfit. “Check the mirror first. You’ve got a stain on your shirt and it’s pretty obvious your pants and jacket are from separate suits.” As he took a step away from the bar, he turned once more to cast a judgmental look at the man’s clothes. “Unless the unkempt look is what you’re going for? Though if you’re going to be a sore loser, you might as well look as though you didn’t get your suit at the Goodwill.”

Raising his glass in mock cheers, Rafael smirked as he turned and made his way into the crowd. He couldn’t help but adjust his tie. While me might be older and poorer, he thought with a small sense of victory, at least he actually knew how to dress himself.

* * *

The smell of cigarette smoke drifted up to the terrace and Emily couldn’t help but feel the urge to run down to the courtyard below to bum one. Instead, she finished off her drink and leaned her head against her palm as she leaned over the railing. There was a particular vine she could see on the wall above the smokers that she added to her mental to-do list to have removed. 

After her conversation with Kathy, she’d spent the majority of the night wandering around the building and adding unfinished (or simply not finished to her standard) tasks to her mental list. It was partly a way of avoiding interacting with the large party of people she had little interest in, but it was also a way to avoid her own thoughts. 

Her mind kept swirling back to that night a few days ago. After what Kathy had told her, Emily couldn’t help but let her imagination go wild. Her mind kept making up different things Rafael would have said to Steve, what his face would have looked like when he said it. Her mind also wondered if maybe Kathy was right. Was Rafael interested? Emily was almost certain that Kathy was wrong, but a small part of her hoped and that was what she’d spent most of the evening trying to squash down. 

As she looked down at her now empty glass and made a face, she heard the door behind her open. Suddenly, all the sounds from inside came spilling out. Emily didn’t bother looking up to see who it was as she wondered about the possibility of a second glass of whiskey. 

“Refill?”

Her heart stopped as she heard the voice she’d been playing in her head all night. The look of astonishment must have been obvious on her face as she looked up to see Rafael standing next to her, offering her another glass of brown colored liquid. 

“You’re a lifesaver,” she said honestly, swapping her empty glass for the full one. He set it down on the table behind them and then leaned against the railing next to her as he took a sip of his own drink. “What are you doing here?”

“Peter said there’d be an open bar.”

Emily laughed, but guessed by the way he wouldn’t meet her eyes, he wasn’t being entirely forthcoming. She tilted her head and eyed him for a moment. She lazily admired the way his dark suit and red shirt were cut perfectly to his frame. When her eyes finally moved back up to his face, she realized he’d been surveying her as well. She swallowed, suddenly nervous as his green eyes stared into hers. 

“I was actually hoping to see you tonight,” Rafael admitted, his voice quiet. 

“Well, here I am,” Emily teased, taking a sip of her drink in order to take her eyes away from his. She didn’t want him to be able to detect how anxious she was just by his being so close. “Do I meet your expectations?”

“You exceed them,” Rafael drawled. “I wanted to thank you for the scotch.”

“No need,” Emily brushed him off quickly. “And like I said, don’t even think about returning it.”

“Can I ask,” he said slowly. “Why did you send me a ten thousand dollar bottle of scotch?”

Emily took a moment to consider her answer. If she were going to be honest, she would tell him because it had been an extremely long time since a man who wasn’t family had felt the need to look out for her. So long in fact, she’d almost given up hope that such men existed. If she were going to be honest, she’d have to tell him that she had feelings for him, that she’d really wanted to kiss him, but a bottle of scotch was much more appropriate. 

But Emily was not ready to be honest, so instead, she smiled coyly and asked, “Why did you write me a forty thousand dollar check?”

It was his turn to go silent. When her blue eyes met his green, Emily saw the same turmoil floating through his mind that had gone through hers. Instead of answering, Rafael simply ducked his head and grinned. After collecting his thoughts, Rafael met her eyes once more and asked, “You hungry?”

* * *

“Why does everyone ask that?” Emily demanded, exasperated. She nearly threw herself off the barstool as she waved her hands at him in annoyance. “Just because my parents had six kids doesn’t mean we’re Irish or Catholic!”

Rafael couldn’t help but grin at her over his plate. She really was adorable when she was flustered. “What, Reinhardt is Irish, isn’t it?”

Emily shot him an even more annoyed glare as she picked up her drink and Rafael couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, it isn’t Irish,” she said, voice scathing. “It’s old-Germanic or something, but my father’s family is mostly English.”

Narrowing his eyes, Rafael surveyed her face. “You don’t look very English,” he commented before taking a bite of his steak. He had a preconception of English people as being blonde, willowy creatures. Emily, however, had hair darker than his and a figure that looked like it belonged in an Italian Renaissance painting. 

“I look more like my mother’s family,” she said with a shrug. “They’re all Armenian. All I got from my dad was the eyes.”

“Ah, that explains--”

“The ass?” Emily glared at him, waiting for him to respond. 

“I was going to say the nose,” Rafael finished, trying to hide his smirk behind his glass of scotch. “But it’s all making sense now.”

“My turn,” Emily said to change the subject, but Rafael could see the blush creeping up her neck. “Tell me about your family? You all seem pretty close.”

Rafael shrugged and took a sip of his drink, considering his answer carefully. “I’ve always been close to my mother and grandmother, they raised me. My grandfather passed when I was eight so we’re all my grandmother has left.”

“What about your father?”

“Dead,” Rafael said simply with another sip. Emily was a bit taken aback by the abruptness of his answer but didn’t push. “Died of cancer when I was twenty-five.”

“No siblings?”

“Is this a date or an interrogation?” Rafael teased. Emily only smiled at him and put her chin on her fist as she patiently waited for an answer. “None. Much to my mother’s disappointment. She always wanted a daughter.”

“She’s very proud of you,” Emily said thoughtfully. “Your grandmother, too. She told me you were an ‘el juez.’”

“Está loca,” he said under his breath. When he glanced over at Emily, he saw her confused expression and sighed. “I’m not even close to becoming a judge, but I’m content where I am.”

Blue eyes studied him curiously for a moment. “Your mother,” she said slowly. “She was worried we met through your job.”

There was an unspoken question in her words and Rafael wasn’t sure he wanted to answer just yet. He was honestly surprised she hadn’t found out already. “I’m a prosecutor for special victims.”

Emily opened her mouth, but the bartender appeared to take away their plates. Rafael had hoped she’d forget, but obviously he didn’t give her memory enough credit. “What is a special victim exactly?”

“Sexual assault, rape, children, kidnappings, abuse.”

“No wonder you mother was worried,” Emily said blandly, her eyes slightly horrified. “That would have been an awful way to meet.”

In spite of himself, Rafael laughed. “No, not the best introduction.” Rafael looked up from his scotch to find Emily surveying him over her whiskey sour. He raised his eyebrows at her and took another sip. “Yes?”

“You put on the airs of an insensitive ass, but you aren’t one.”

Rafael set down his drink and rested his chin on his fist, leveling his eyes at her, green meeting blue. “Is that a compliment or an insult?”

“It’s a fact,” she stated. “So how do you put up with it?”

“Put up with what?” 

“Your job,” she gazed at him, searching his eyes and refusing the break eye contact. “Dealing with that kind of workday in and day out. Seeing those kinds of cases. How do you separate yourself from it?”

“I have to. I try not to get invested in the emotional aspects but focus on the law and the facts. That’s what wins cases and gets convictions,” he answered simply, raising his glass to her. “Though sometimes that’s easier said than done.” He looked away, thinking for a moment of his upcoming trial, but he quickly shook his head. “But enough about me. Besides your profile on your website, I know absolutely nothing about you.”

“You looked at that?” she asked, sounding amused. “So, then you’ll know I got a Bachelor's in History from Mount Holyoke and a Master’s in Preservation from Columbia. Worked as a project manager with a non-profit for a few years and then went into construction.” She nodded at the waiter as he dropped off their drinks and examined Rafael over her whiskey sour. “Not really much else to know.”

“I doubt that,” Rafael said as he signaled the bartender for another round. “You forgot to mention you were on Forbes thirty-under-thirty list.”

“You did Google stalk me,” she accused, the flush rising from her neck to her cheeks. 

“Wait, how old are you?” Rafael asked after he thought for a moment, finding himself slightly horrified. 

Nibbling on the lime from her drink, Emily answered, “Just turned thirty-two in May. You?”

Rafael felt sick. “Check please,” he called to the bartender as he passed.

Emily could only laugh as she finished off the rest of her drink. “What? Disappointed I’m not twenty-five?” Rafael glared at her outright and Emily only laughed again. “I could get some injections if you like or go blonde.”

Rafael was fuming by the time the bartender delivered the check. He tossed down money for the bill and stood up to button his jacket. “Wouldn’t you prefer to date men your own age, Miss Reinhardt? I know you don’t exactly think favorably of old men like myself,” he snapped before turning to head to the door. That stupid man’s voice from earlier was ringing in his ear. Richer and younger, he thought to himself.

When he reached the sidewalk, he felt an arm slide through his and he looked to find Emily smiling over at him. 

“So, it was a date then?”

He grumbled to himself in Spanish and Emily only sighed. “Please don’t make me apologize again.”

“I don’t want you to apologize,” Rafael said quietly as they waited on the sidewalk for a taxi. “I’m just worried maybe an attractive, successful thirty-two year old is better suited to men her own age than forty-three year old men.”

“You’re forty-three? Jesus, for a second you had me worried you were in your fifties with the way you were going on.” Emily laughed, but Rafael only looked over at her, his face resigned. “The lack of self confidence act doesn’t suit you, Mr. Barba.”

A taxi pulled up in front of them and Rafael went to release her arm so he could open the door for her. Before he could pull away, though, Emily grabbed his hand. 

“Why did you ask me to dinner?”

Rafael was quiet for a moment, caught off guard by the vulnerability in her blue eyes. He knew she wanted an honest answer, but it had been so long since he’d been up front with someone about his feelings, he didn’t know if he could do it now. Not so soon. 

At his silence, Emily smiled and sighed, looking back up into his eyes. One second turned into two and she still didn’t release his hand. Rafael grew more and more tempted, but suddenly the driver yelled. The spell broke and Emily dropped his hand. 

“Thank you for dinner,” she said, stepping into the cab. 

“Thank you for the scotch,” he said quietly as he watched her drive away.


	6. Chapter 6

“You didn’t say how the date went?”

“I don’t even know it was a date!”

“Em,” Nate chastised in a hissed voice below the droning of the priest. “The man bought you dinner. It was a date.”

“He was just saying thank you,” she insisted in a whisper.

“I’m telling you--”

“You’re the authority on this now?”

“As a dude and as your friend, yes,” he said with certainty. 

Emily sighed and tried to focus on the mass, but it was difficult when the entire thing was in a language she could only partially understand. 

“He flipped out when I told him how old I was,” she whispered, in spite of her better judgement to let the conversation die. 

Nate snorted. “Duh. He knows he’s too old for you.”

“Too old?” She looked up at him with an annoyed expression. “Seriously? He’s not that much older than you are!”

“He’s at least forty,” Nate said, glancing over Emily’s shoulder to scope Rafael out a few rows behind them. “I take it he didn’t put the moves on you then.”

Emily rammed her elbow into Nate’s ribs causing him to recoil into his neighbor quickly ending that conversation, but she continued to think about it for the rest of the mass. It worried her. Did Rafael think he was too old for her? She’d never thought about the age difference before. Hell, she’d never even thought to wonder how old he was until two nights ago. Not to mention since they’d parted ways Friday, she couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t kissed her. Had her breath smelled? Was he not interested? What?

The thoughts were still swirling around in her mind when she stepped outside after mass to get some fresh air before visiting with the rest of the church goers. Instead of finding peace, she happened to walk in on the middle of a conversation between Eddie and Rafael.

“No arruines esto, Eddie,” Rafael said. _Don’t mess this up, Eddie._ “Es posible que no tenga otra oportunidad.” _You may not get another chance._

“I know, Rafi,” Eddie responded with a sigh. “Te prometo.” _I promise._

“Y no faltes al respeto Emily,” Rafael’s voice was suddenly harsh. _And do not disrespect Emily._ “Or so help me--”

“Dios, Rafael! I no lo hará!” _God, Rafael! I won’t!_ After a second, Eddie let out a laugh and he playfully elbowed Rafael in the arm. “Realmente te gusta su.” _You really like her._

“Eddie.”

The door opened behind Emily and both men turned. Eddie’s grin grew even wider, but Rafael’s looked as though he’d swallowed a bee. 

“You sounded like you were reading him the riot act,” Emily said, raising an eyebrow as she took a step closer. She honestly couldn’t understand more than a quarter of what had been said, but she understood enough to know she’d been a topic of conversation. Rafael ran his hand up the back of head and looked at his feet. 

“Oh, he was,” Eddie assured her. A moment later Eddie’s mother and son exited the church and he nodded at his boss and Rafael before leaving the two alone. Rafael looked as though he wanted to make a quick getaway as well, but Emily stopped him.

“You don’t have to look out for me,” she told him quietly, trying to make eye contact but he was watching the groups of people stream out of the church. 

“I know I don’t have to,” he replied blandly, still not looking her in the eye. “But I want to.”

Emily tried to find the words to respond but failed. Instead, she reached out her hand to touch his, but got as far as grazing her fingers over his before she thought better of it. 

“Are you heading back downtown now?” she asked casually.

“No,” he shook his head, glancing down at his watch. “I’m having lunch with my mother and grandmother.”

With a nod, Emily gave him one last smile before stepping away. She spotted Nate eyeing her over the crowd, waiting for her so they could drive back into the city. Before she could get far, however, she felt a warm hand below her elbow and heard his voice in her ear. 

“What are you doing Wednesday night?”

“Probably same as usual,” Emily said with a shrug as she turned back towards him. “Working. Why?”

“Have dinner with me instead,” Rafael insisted, and Emily found herself smiling in spite of herself. 

“A second date, so soon?”

“So, it was a date then?”

* * *

By the time Rafael had looked up at the clock on his office wall, it was already too late to meet Emily for dinner. He’d never make it. He let out a groan of frustration and tossed his pen down onto the desk. He let his face sink into his hands for a few long moments before running them through his already fussed hair. 

It was quarter to seven. The sun was long set and Carmen had gone home hours ago. Luckily, she had left all the lights on for him or he would have been working in the dark. Finding his cell phone under a stack of files he sent a text to Emily telling her he wouldn’t be able to make it, that he had to work late. He frowned as he pressed send on the message and quickly tossed the phone aside. 

It was the first time in over five years he’d actually wanted to take someone on a second date and his work had already interfered. Another relationship destroyed before it even started. Anger and frustration seeped into the pit of his stomach, but Rafael tried to squash it as he quickly set back to work reviewing the case files. He needed to have this finished by tomorrow, but fifteen minutes later thoughts of Emily snuck back into his head. He glanced at his phone once more. She’d read the message but hadn’t sent a response. 

Great, Rafael thought. Another one gone. 

He set the phone back down and forgot about it. Pen in hand, he went back to being consumed by witness statements. Fifty pages later, his jacket and tie were gone, his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and his hand was resting on the back of his neck. He was too distracted by the words on the page to hear the knock at his door. It took about thirty seconds and three throat clearings before Rafael finally noticed someone was standing in his office door. When he did, he jumped slightly. 

“Jesus,” he hissed under his breath, glowering slightly at a chuckling Emily. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Only about five minutes,” she teased. She let herself in and dropped a bag onto the coffee table in front of his couch. “I figured your text meant one of two things. One, you were blowing me off,” she explained as she approached his desk with a cup of coffee in her hand. He glanced up at her from his papers, trying to pretend he was still focused on his work but failing. “Or two, you actually were working in which case I knew you probably weren’t going to eat.”

Emily came behind the desk and placed a hand on his shoulder. She leaned over to set the coffee next to his files. The smell of her perfume, light and flowery, filled his senses and he sat back to look up at her. Her eyes glanced over his desktop and then moved to meet his. A small smile spread across her face as her hand squeezed his shoulder before letting go. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” 

Before she could make a quick getaway, Rafael reached up and grabbed her hand. “Leaving so soon?” He pouted at her as he stood up, still refusing to release his soft grip on her hand. “You just got here.”

Emily tilted her head and frowned at him before glancing at his desk. “Rafael, I don’t want to distract you. I just want to make sure you don’t starve.”

“It’s too late,” he assured her, tugging her over to the couch. He took a seat and looked up at her with a smile. “You distract me whenever we’re in the same room.”

With a huff, she sat, and they had dinner together despite all odds. They discussed her day as they ate and when they finished, Rafael sat back into the couch cushions, head resting against the back, slowly sipping his coffee as he tried to explain the Shakir Wilkins case to her. 

“Seriously? You’ve got this case?” she asked. She sat facing him, her legs tucked up underneath her. Her eyes watched him closely as her fingers lazily moved through his hair. It felt more intimate than he should be comfortable with, but Rafael shut his eyes and found the feeling of her fingers against his scalp so relaxing he couldn’t resist. 

“Don’t tell me, you’ve seen it on LMZ,” he said with a bored expression.

“No,” she responded, her fingers moving down to trace the hairline of his neck. “The guys play the sports radio at work. It’s all they’ve been talking about lately.”

“Great,” Rafael sighed. “Now I’ll be famous in the sports world.”

Emily laughed. Rafael opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her. Her blue eyes were bright as she met his and softly smiled at him. His chest tightened. He wanted so badly in that moment to touch her, to lean in and press his lips to hers, to pull her into his arms. However, a few seconds later, she voiced the thoughts of his rational brain. 

“I should go and let you get back to work,” she said with a sigh what he hoped was regret. “I’ve distracted you long enough.”

She stood up and Rafael followed suit. Setting his cup down on the table, he followed her to the door and helped her with her coat. Before she could leave, he stopped her once more. 

“Emily,” he said, letting his hand gently stop on her waist. “Thank you for this, but if I don’t call--”

Her face fell and she stared down at her shoes trying not to look disappointed, which shocked Rafael. “I get it,” she said, dejected. “I should have taken the hint Saturday night. You’re not interested. No hurt feelings. Really.”

Rafael looked at her as if she’d grown a head. She tried to pull out of his grasp, but his arm only looped around her waist tighter, pulling her chest to chest with him. “Are you crazy?” he said, shocked. “If I wasn’t interested, I would have said so.”

“You don’t need to be worried about hurting my feelings,” she repeated, face flushing from the physical contact. Her eyes wouldn’t meet his but instead stared down at his chest as her hands hesitantly rested on the front of his shirt. “I know you think I’m too young and that--”

“For god’s sake,” Rafael sighed. “Will you just stop talking and let me kiss you?”

The look on her face was priceless, but she immediately stopped talking and nodded slowly. A smile spread across her lips as her cheeks flushed more. Rafael found himself smiling as he wrapped both arms around her to pull her completely against him. Leaning in, he pressed his smiling lips to hers and for just a few seconds, the world stopped. For those few seconds, nothing else seemed to matter. 

Her lips were warm, and he could still taste the cookie she’d just eaten. As his lips caressed hers, she responded. Her hands moved up his chest, one resting against his neck and the other making its way back into his hair. After a few moments, her teeth pulled his bottom lip into her mouth and she bit down softly. It wasn’t until he let out a small gasp that she released him. She didn’t pull away immediately and neither did he. Instead, he slowly ran his hands down her spine, settling them on her hips. Emily kept her eyes shut and breathed deeply as Rafael took a moment to study her face.

“Was I out of line?” he asked, his voice quiet and nervous. 

“No, not at all.” Her hands moved from his face back down to his chest where she worried a button on his shirt. Her eyes opened slowly, and she looked up to meet his. Worry and fear were reflected back at him from her blue eyes, making Rafael feel slightly relieved. “I haven’t done that in a while.”

Rafael couldn’t help but laugh. “That makes two of us.” One of his hands moved from her back to push the hair out of her face. “What I was going to say earlier before you interrupted me,” he teased. “Is that if I don’t call, it’s not because I don’t want to. This case is going to take up a lot of my time, it might take make a week to call you again, but can I take you on a proper second date when this is over?”

“Only on one condition.”

With a sigh, he tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at her. Emily grinned as he relented, “Well?”

“Kiss me again before I go.”


	7. Chapter 7

“That’s ridiculous.”

“You’re acting like I don’t know how to read or tie my shoes.”

“You might as well not!” Emily said, exasperated. She flew her hands up in the air as she waited for him to finish fussing with his coffee. She could see him roll his eyes at her, but it just made him click her tongue even more. “How do you get anywhere?”

“I can get everywhere I need,” he insisted, pushing past her towards the door of the coffee shop. “It’s called public transportation. Have you heard of it?”

“And you never have to leave the city?” she asked, still mortified at the idea. 

“There’s anything outside the city worth seeing?” He shrugged as he held the door open for her. “And if I do, someone else can drive.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, still skeptical. As she glared at him, she had to remind herself to stay annoyed at his argument and not give him the once over with her gaze. 

In all the times she’d ever seen him, including their seven previous dates (she was definitely not keeping count), she could only remember seeing him in anything other than a suit twice. It was nice to see him casually dressed; she’d noticed immediately when he’d met her at her townhouse that morning. It was still warm, even as August had turned into September. Rafael only had on a pair of loose jeans and a t-shirt. Her eyes lingered on his arms momentarily, trying not to sigh out loud at how nicely shaped they were. Was this how men felt when they looked at women’s legs, she wondered. 

“I think you’re just afraid,” she accused, taking a sip of her iced coffee as she stepped out onto the sidewalk. 

Rafael let out a loud laugh as he shut the door. “With maniacs like you on the road? Obviously.”

Grinding her teeth, Emily looked over her shoulder to respond, but was distracted when she heard, “Emily!”

Looking up, she saw the smiling face of her former attorney walking towards her. 

“Hello, Bayard!” Emily smiled brightly at him as he she opened her arms for a hug. He chuckled and gave her a tight squeeze as she kissed him on the cheek. “How are you?” she asked as she pulled away. 

“Not bad,” he answered, grinning down at her. “I hear you’re not doing too bad yourself. At least that’s what our fundraising department says.”

“You mean your wife?” Emily teased, wrinkling her nose at him. “You got my last check, then? Good.”

“You know you don’t have to,” Bayard insisted, but Emily raised her hand to stop him.

“I know they paid the lawyers’ fees, but I want to.”

Bayard had opened his mouth to respond, but his eyes caught something over Emily’s shoulders, and he stopped. Glancing at Emily once more, his eyebrows shot up before he said slowly, “Counselor.”

“Mr. Ellis,” Rafael responded, voice unreadable.

Everyone was silent for a few seconds and Emily looked between the two men, confused. Rafael maintained eye contact with Bayard but Bayard looked between Emily and Rafael uncertain and then suddenly worried. “Emily,” he said, carefully. “Should I be concerned?”

Emily blinked several times, not quite sure what was going on. “Um,” she responded finally. “About what exactly?”

When Bayard didn’t get the answer he was looking for, he instead turned to Rafael and narrowed his eyes at the shorter man. Rafael huffed and rolled his eyes. 

“No, Ellis,” Rafael told him curtly. “She’s not a vic. You really do think poorly of the Manhattan DA’s office.”

“For good reason,” Bayard said, sighing with relief. “You should remember whose coat tails you came in on, Barba.” Turning back to Emily, he squeezed her hand and smiled at her kindly. “Good seeing you, my dear.”

“You too,” Emily said, smiling as she waved goodbye. She glanced over at Rafael who was eying him with a look of annoyance as Bayard walked past them. When he looked up and met Emily’s eye, he shook his head and walked on down the sidewalk. “What was that about?” Emily asked as she hustled to catch up with him.

“Apparently everyone is going to assume we met at work,” he grumbled under his breath before turning to glance at her once she caught stride with him. “How do you know Ellis?”

“He was my attorney,” she said simply. Based on his narrowed green eyes her explanation wasn’t good enough and she shrugged. “He took my law suit on against Tulane five years ago.”

“Figures,” Rafael tisked, shaking his head.

“Hey,” Emily scolded. “He’s not a bad guy.” She nudged her elbow into his ribs before moving an arm around his waist as they walked. “I think you’d actually get along with him if you weren’t on opposite sides of the courtroom.”

Rafael gave her a skeptical look, but he smiled at her anyways and her heart fluttered slightly. His arm made its way around her shoulder as he said snidely, “I doubt it, but we’ll agree to disagree on this one.”

They walked in silence for a few moments. Emily wondering if she should ask the question she’d be mulling over for a few weeks. Finally, she couldn’t help herself, “You’ve never thought about dating someone from work before?”

His response was a loud, harsh laugh. When she looked over at him, he looked like he was about to choke on his coffee. “Don’t be absurd,” he said, looking at her like she was insane. “It would be a ridiculous conflict of interest and I’m just starting to get my conviction rate back up.”

“Conflict of interest?” She arched an eyebrow. “How so? Even with other attorneys?”

“Especially with other attorneys,” he said, his voice firm. “If I were to date opposing counsel, we’d have to make the defendant and the judge aware of the relationship. Besides, prosecutors are all pompous pricks.”

She pinched him in the ribs, making him squirm, but couldn’t help but grin. “And you wouldn’t date any of those detectives you work with? They’re pretty.”

His eyes examined her, suddenly weary. “And you know that how?”

“One of my project managers google stalked you,” she admitted, turning her face away from him so she could hide the red creeping up her cheeks. “He’s been sending me all the news articles about you for the past two weeks.”

Rafael groaned and she glanced over to see him rolling his eyes. “Great.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

He looked at her through the corner of his eye. “You work with a lot of men,” he countered. “Would you date anyone you worked with?”

“God no!” Emily said quickly, shuddering at the very idea. 

“And why’s that?”

“I have to work with them all day,” she said thoughtfully. “It would be too stressful working side by side with someone you’re dating and then coming home to them at night. There’s no separation.” Suddenly, she realized she answered her own question and she clicked her tongue at him. “You tricky bastard.”

“I didn’t become a lawyer for nothing.”

* * *

“This is because of my comment about there being nothing outside the city, isn’t it? This is punishment.”

“Oh, stop whining,” Emily scolded him as she passed another car, going far too fast. He got the distinct feeling she was driving like this solely to see the look of terror on his face. “I gave you an out and you didn’t take it.”

“I didn’t know you’d be bringing me to the middle of nowhere,” he retorted. Rafael had one hand firmly gripping the center consul and the other the handle on his door. When he looked over at her, he realized she was laughing. “You know, if you’re planning on killing me and burying me somewhere, could you just get it over with?”

“With how dramatic you are,” Emily said, tutting. She crossed three lanes of traffic and zoomed off the exit, making Rafael hold his breath. “I’m surprised you’re a lawyer and not an actor.”

“You and my mother, both.”

They ended up driving through Greenwich and Rafael glanced over at her, curious. He only knew this town from weekends he’d spent at Peter and Kathy’s house. They passed it and he looked at Emily with a raised eyebrow, “You’re thinking of buying a house here?”

“It could be a good investment,” she explained as they drove for another mile or so out of town. She suddenly saw the house number she was looking for and turned quickly. “You know how much houses go for here. It could bring in a nice chunk of change if I play my cards right.”

Rafael was going to respond as they drove down a long driveway through the trees. Suddenly, however, he saw the house. It stood back from the trees at the top of a completely overgrown lawn. Looking out the window, Rafael guessed that it would go up to his hip. As they neared the house, he began to wonder if Peter had called Emily to show her this house -- on a Sunday of all days -- as a joke. 

“This? You want to buy this?” 

It was a big house, he had to give her that. It looked like it was someone’s Tudor revival mansion from back in the gilded age. But as he hopped down from her truck and stared up at it, he could not for the life of him see what she was thinking. The shingles on the side of the house were rotting and discolored. Areas that were painted were peeling. Shutters hung at odd angles, some on the ground by the foundation. Windows that weren’t already broken or half hanging off, looked like they would fall out soon. The landscaping around the house was so overgrown, he wondered how they’d even get through the front door. 

“It’s like something from a horror movie,” Rafael said quietly as he gaped. 

“The gutters all look to be in good shape,” Emily commented lightly as she stopped beside him to give the front a once over. 

“Oh,” Rafael responded, looking at her like she had lost her mind. “Well, that’s something.”

Peter appeared from the front door, pushing back a hanging branch of ivy as he yelled to them from the top of the front steps. “Are you going to come in or not?”

If Rafael thought the outside was bad, he was mortified when he saw the inside. 

“What’s that smell?”

“Mold, probably,” Emily answered, not even at all phased. 

The house looked as though it hadn’t been lived in in years. There were still ghost marks on the outdated wallpaper from where paintings used to hang. The paint was peeling, the plaster was collapsing, and Rafael swore that he saw more than one rat run across the stained, mildewed carpet in front of him.

“What’s the square footage?” he heard Emily ask as he stared dumbfounded at the kitchen. It looked like something out of the Brady Bunch. 

“Fifteen thousand, not including the basement,” Peter responded. “Twelve bedrooms, eight bathrooms.”

“This?” Rafael asked as he opened a door to find one of the supposed bathrooms. It looked like it hadn’t been updated since before his grandmother was born. It still had the toilet with the box that hung up high on the wall and a chain you pulled. “Is not a bathroom.”

Peter and Emily shook their heads at him as they continued through the rest of the house, up to the third floor. Rafael only half paid attention as she peppered Peter with questions about mechanical systems and town restrictions. They got to a final bedroom on the third floor in which the ceiling had completely collapsed. Emily did not even seem phased by it as she walked around the fallen plaster to look out the window. The only good thing about this house, Rafael had figured, was the location right on the water. 

“How much are they asking?”

“They want one and half million, but it’s been on the market for over a year at this point,” Peter responded. 

Rafael was caught up in trying to determine whether a skeleton on the floor was a bird or mouse, when Emily said finally, “Nine hundred thousand cash. No restrictions. I’ll pay closing.”

“I’ll draw up the offer tonight and send it out. Hopefully we’ll hear back by tomorrow,” Peter said as he reached out and shook Emily’s hand. 

“Wait,” Rafael said, suddenly realizing what Emily had done. “You’re not serious.”

Peter chuckled at the look on Rafael’s face as he took out his phone and headed back downstairs, leaving Emily and Rafael alone. 

“What?” Emily said, trying to look innocent. “You don’t like it?”

“It’s a death trap! Why would you throw money down the drain like that?”

“It isn’t throwing money down the drain,” Emily said, her voice slightly annoyed. She moved past Rafael back into the main hallway, but he followed her and refused to give up. 

“You can’t seriously be willing to throw almost a million dollars into this shit hole.”

“Oh, I intend to spend more than a million,” Emily assured him. “It needs new electric, new HVAC, new plumbing. Not to mention the cosmetics. Oh, and landscaping.”

“Emily,” Rafael said slowly. He was suddenly more concerned than ever that she had completely lost it. Maybe it was the mold. “Please, be serious.”

“I am serious,” she told him with a laugh. Sighing, she turned and faced him, her eyes bright with excitement. “Do you know what the average house in this neighborhood goes for?”

“Do I want to?” Rafael asked, feeling sick already at the thought of money. 

“It’s starting prices of around ten mil,” she explained. “And there’s no others with this location, this size, and these original features. If I can get this house for nine hundred thousand and put a couple of million into it, I’m looking at a five million dollar profit. At least. It’s a steal really.”

Rafael stared at her, still not entirely certain. As much as he knew about Emily’s reputation for pulling off the impossible when it came to buildings, he couldn’t help the doubt that was welling up in his stomach. Apparently it showed on his face as well, because Emily looked at him with a glare of stubbornness. 

“I’ll make you a bet,” she offered, holding out her hand to him. “I bet you I can make at least a five million dollar profit from this house.”

“What’s the stakes?” Rafael asked, narrowing his eyes at her. 

“You win, I’ll never buy another ‘shit hole’ again. I win,” she grinned at him. “You take an actual vacation. At least a week.”

Rafael mulled it over for a minute before reaching out and shaking her hand. “I’ll be doing you a favor.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW - Smut Ahead

“Wait? He’s a D.A.?”

“An assistant D.A.,” Emily clarified.

“Is there a difference?” Kristen asked as they walked through Central Park. 

It was early on Saturday and it was her usual gossip appointment with her older sister. Though they had a ten-year difference, Kristen was still the sibling Emily confided in most. “He’s still a lawyer. I never thought you’d date a lawyer. Is he hot?”

“He’s attractive,” Emily said with a shrug. 

Her mind brought up a mental image of Rafael from the last date they’d had. It was last Sunday. They’d actually been able to spend the majority of the afternoon together which was a rarity for either of them. Since their first date, it was nearing two months. That was a record for Emily and supposedly a big deal for Kristen. 

“I’m more worried he doesn’t think I’m attractive.”

Kristen stopped mid stride and looked at her sister with her mouth gaping. 

“What? You fucking kidding me?”

“It’s been a month--”

“Almost two,” Kristen corrected.

“Almost two months,” Emily conceded. “And he still hasn’t even tried to make a move beyond making out.”

“Maybe he needs Viagra,” Kristen snorted. Emily knew how her sister felt about Rafael’s age and she sighed at the comment, but Kristen quickly moved on. “Have you invited him in?”

“Yes, he always has an excuse.”

“You’ve hit on him?”

“Obviously,” Emily said, rolling her eyes.

“Maybe he’s gay.”

“Kristen!”

“It’s possible, you’ve never had good gay-dar.” Kristen sighed and put her arm through Emily’s, patting her sister’s hand reassuringly. “It’s obviously not you, you’re gorgeous. Maybe he just wants to take things slow. And I can’t say I blame him; he should want to. You’re amazing and he’s obviously got issues if he’s this old and single.”

Emily let out a noise of anger. “What if that’s not it? What if I’m just not his type or something?”

“Then maybe you should just ask him,” Kristen finally said with a huff. “You’re not going to get far with this guy if you can’t talk about sex, anyways.”

* * *

There was obviously something bothering her, but Rafael couldn’t quite put his finger on it. She hadn’t been overly quiet. Conversation had been easy as always and even now as he walked her back to her house, she had her arm through his. There were moments, however, like now, when she would go silent and stare ahead, deep in thought with a frown on her face. Finally, as they neared her door, he couldn’t help but ask. 

“Okay, what’s up?”

“Huh?” 

She came out of her trance and blinked at him. 

Rafael narrowed his eyes at her as he stopped on the sidewalk so he could face her. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “There’s obviously something on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” she said quickly, which made Rafael raise his eyebrows in concern. Even under the streetlight, he could see her blush. “Yes...not really?”

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“Do you not want to have sex with me?”

It came out so quickly that they both were a bit startled by her having said it out loud. Emily held her breath as she waited for his reaction and Rafael wasn’t quite sure whether she was serious or not. 

“I know they say there’s no such thing as a stupid question,” he told her slowly, his eyes still narrowed in confusion. “But that’s a pretty stupid question.”

Her face was so flushed at this point, Rafael was worried about her overheating. “Is that a yes or a no?” she mimicked. 

“What makes you think I don’t want to have sex with you?” Rafael asked, laughter apparent in his voice now. 

“You’re doing that thing you do where you answer a question with a question,” Emily said, now fully annoyed. “Is deflection a skill all lawyers have to learn in law school?”

“No, it’s just a natural trait,” Rafael countered. “You’re quite good at it yourself.”

“Forget I asked!” she said loudly, pulling her arm out of his and marching down the street. 

Rafael chuckled under his breath and followed her, keeping a step behind. “Emily,” he called out to her. 

“Just forget it, Rafael,” she said over her shoulder. “I think I’ve already embarrassed myself enough for one night.”

“You know,” he told her back. “You’re really cute when you’re angry.”

Suddenly, she rounded on him and poked her pointer finger into his chest. “No,” she said. “You don’t get to flirt with me right now. Not when you won’t give me a straight answer.” 

“No.”

“Not when you won’t--No? What?” Emily’s face went from anger to hurt and confusion in a second.

With a sigh, Rafael took a step forward. He took a hold of her hand and held it to his chest. “No, I don’t not want to have sex with you,” he said quietly. “God, you had to make that a trick question.”

Emily lowered her head, staring at his hand wrapped around hers, but his other hand quickly reached up to stroke her cheek. When she looked up into his eyes, he saw the vulnerability in her blue eyes and his heart melted all over again. Damn this woman, he thought as he leaned in and kissed her. 

When he pulled away, Emily glanced up at him, confusion still clouding her eyes. Rafael sighed and brushed his thumb over her lips gently. “You are the first person I have seriously wanted to spend time with in years,” he admitted. “I want this to last. I don’t want to rush things.”

“Then it’s not because you’re not attracted to me?”

Rafael let out a loud laugh. “Are you delusional? Have you not looked in the mirror lately?”

“I don’t know,” she grumbled, glaring at him. “Maybe I’m not your type or something.”

“Emily,” Rafael said calmly. “I think you know me well enough by now to know I don’t like wasting my time. Do you really think I’d waste my time on a woman that wasn’t ‘my type?’” 

“No, probably not,” Emily responded, looking a little embarrassed she’d even considered the idea. 

“No, definitely not,” Rafael grumbled as he took her hand and began walking once more. “Not my type. Seriously?”

* * *

She was running late when she finally saw the text from Rafael. Apparently, he was running late as well, she realized with a smile. He’d texted her his address and asked her to just meet him there instead. She let out a small sigh of relief, realizing she could finish putting on her makeup in his bathroom. 

When she finally got to his apartment and was buzzed in, she was dismayed at the fact that he had a two-story walkup. Really, Raf, she thought to herself as she puffed up in her heels. He couldn’t have warned her?

“Your apartment is seriously not heel friendly,” she shouted as she entered his apartment. She locked the door behind her and tossed her coat over the closest chair. Taking a quick glance around, she noted the neatness and simple, but tasteful furnishings. Typical, she thought to herself with a smile as she pulled her makeup bag out of her purse and made her way to what she assumed was his bathroom. The door was slightly ajar, so presuming he must be in the bedroom, she pushed open the door and her makeup bag nearly fell out of her hands. 

He was most definitely not in the bedroom. 

Apparently not only could his apartment not afford an elevator, but it couldn’t afford a door for the shower. He had his back to her, and Emily just stood and stared. Her eyes moved from his back down to his toned ass and legs. His daily runs paid off, were her only coherent thoughts. 

All she could do was stand there gaping, until finally she cleared her throat and said the first thing that came to mind, “Your landlord seriously can’t afford a shower door?”

Obviously startled, Rafael jumped and dropped the bottle of shampoo he’d just picked up. “Jesus, Em!” he shouted, turning to look at her after picking up the shampoo. 

Catching a look at the front, Emily’s eyes widened even further. She’d always had a fondness for his arms but seeing the rest of his chest made her stomach twist into knots. His forearms moved up to even more defined upper arms. His chest and stomach were not as muscled, but she still ached to reach out and run her hands up over his skin. Her eyes couldn’t help but travel downward until she caught sight of his hand motioning her gaze up. When she looked back into his eyes, she wasn’t sure if he was amused or annoyed. 

“Em,” he said slowly. “Did you not get my last text?”

“Obviously not?” 

Clearing her throat, she quickly averted her eyes and turned to exit, running into the door on her way out. When she stood outside the now closed bathroom door, she looked down at her phone and realized she had an unread text from Rafael saying he was going to shower but that the door was unlocked. 

“Fuck,” Emily said under her breath, slamming her forehead into her palm. When she heard the water shut off in the bathroom, she quickly scurried to a mirror over a small table in the living room and began finishing off the rest of her makeup. 

“Enjoy the show?”

Emily flushed red in annoyance and embarrassment. She looked over her shoulder to glare at Rafael only to find him toweling his hair dry with only another towel wrapped around his waist. 

“For god’s sake, Raf,” she groaned. “Put some damn clothes on.”

“What?” he feigned innocence. Walking up behind her, he leaned casually on the table besides the mirror and pretended to not be purposefully distracting her from her makeup. “It didn’t seem to bother you before.”

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. His cocky smirk made her grin in spite of herself and she shook her head as she tried to focus on applying her eyeliner. “It doesn’t bother me,” she said quietly, putting her eyeliner away and pulling out her mascara. “But you’re distracting me, Mr. Barba and we’ll be late.”

She felt his arms encircle her waist and could feel his breath on her neck as he whispered into her ear. “Better late than never.” He pressed a soft kiss to her neck, directly below her ear and then left to go into the bedroom. She sighed to herself as she looked over her shoulder to watch him go. When she was done with her makeup, she put the bag back into her purse and moved to the bedroom door to watch him as he went through his closet, looking for an outfit. 

“You’re a serious peeping Tom,” he told her, glancing up as he tried to decide on a shirt. She smiled at him sweetly before moving behind him. She moved her hands up the expanse of his bare back as he moved items around in his closet. “Now who’s distracting who?”

Her hands slowly followed the curve of his spine as she leaned in and pressed kisses to his shoulder blades. Rafael was still for a moment and Emily was concerned for a second that he would ask her to stop, but before she knew it, he turned and had her wrapped in his arms, his mouth on hers. He kissed her with such passion, she immediately felt herself buzzing. Her arms moved up into his hair, needing something to hold onto, as they tumbled backwards onto the bed. 

The feeling of his body covering hers sent shock waves through her. His chest pressed against hers. He had one leg between hers as his hips ground against hers. Emily’s hands stayed in his hair, keeping his face with hers’ so he couldn’t escape her kiss, but Rafael’s hands roamed. He started at her waist, moving slowly up her stomach. When he reached her breast, he gently moved his hands over it as though he was touching a priceless artifact. When his hand got to her face, he moved it to the bed so he could push himself up and examine her. 

Breathless, Emily looked up at him with heavily lidded eyes. She squirmed beneath him, impatient and annoyed that he’d pulled away. She could feel how stiff he was getting when she pressed her hip up against his, but still he wouldn’t relent. Finally, she laid back with a huff and pouted at him. Her hands moved from his hair to scrape her fingernails down his chest. 

“You’re such a tease.”

“Tell me to stop,” Rafael told her quietly. “And I will.”

Emily growled at him as she dug her fingernails into his stomach. “If you stop, I’ll cut your balls off.”

With a chuckle, he ducked his head into the crook of her neck. “Such a romantic,” he whispered into her ear before pressing his lips to her pulse. His hand moved slowly back down her chest, pushing aside the deep v-neck of her dress. His finger slowly rolled over the lace of her bra before his hand slipped inside to caress her. A moment later, he pushed back the fabric and traced her nipple with his tongue. Emily let out a gasp at the feeling, her hips rolling up against his thigh. When she looked at him, she saw his eyes staring back up at her as he gently sucked and then nibbled at her breast. 

She hummed again in approval, but all too soon he stopped, and his lips were back on hers. As his tongue slid between her lips, she could feel his hand on her thigh, slowly working up her skirt until he reached the top of her panties. His fingers were teasing as he traced her through her underwear and her hips bucked against his hand. She groaned against his lips and she could hear him chuckle. Finally, he relented and slipped his fingers underneath the fabric. 

His fingers were still painfully slow as they traced her lips. Emily pulled away from his kiss and tried to catch her breath as he slid his fingers between her folds. Finding her clit, he rubbed it slowly for a few moments, watching her face as she arched her back into him and let out a moan. 

“God you’re beautiful,” he whispered, kissing her briefly once more before he took his hand away from her and sat up. Emily groaned in frustration as she watched him. Flushed and wanton, she was impatient. She’d waited for this for two months and he was stopping now. 

“Rafi,” she said, warning in her voice. 

“Patience,” he said quietly. 

Sitting back on his knees, he tossed away the towel that had only been half covering him to the side. Seeing him fully again, this time in his full glory, Emily flushed even more and felt her impatience grow. Rafael, however, moved no quicker. Once he tossed her shoes over his shoulder to the floor, he pushed up her dress to her waist and planted a gentle kiss on her inner thigh before hooking his thumbs into her panties. Those too hit the floor and before Emily could blink, Rafael’s tongue had replaced his fingers against her clit. 

“Oh, sweet Jesus,” she whispered. His tongue flicked at her bud at first, but then he pulled it into his mouth and began to suck, teasing it gently with his teeth. She let out a loud moan which only encouraged him. Her hands found his hair and her nails gently scraped at his scalp as she shut her eyes, giving into the sensation. She felt one of his arms cross over her stomach to keep her from bucking her hips, but just when she thought the feeling couldn’t get much better, he slipped a finger inside her. 

When she gasped, Rafael added a second finger and began to pump them into her as he continued sucking on her clit. All logical thoughts left Emily at that point as his finger hooked at an angle and found the spot inside her that made her beg. “Yes,” Emily said on repeat. “Please, Rafi. Please, don’t stop. I’m so close.”

His lips buzzed against her and she heard him let out a small groan. His fingers moved faster within her until suddenly her entire body clenched and she arched her back. Bright stars appeared behind her eyelids as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. With a loud cry of his name, Emily came harder than she could remember having ever come in her life. 

Emily laid back, eyes shut and panting as Rafael placed gentle, final kisses against inner thighs. Moving slowly up her body, he pulled her dress with him as he went. 

“You gonna make it?” he teased, pulling her to sit up. He sat on his knees between her spread legs, running his hand over her face as he tossed her dress aside. 

Emily supported herself on her hands and smiled at him dreamily. “Mhm,” she hummed, moving her head to press a kiss to the palm of his hand. “You’ve been holding out on me, playboy.”

Rafael scoffed and leaned in to kiss her. The taste of herself on his lips made her flush again as he traced her tongue with his. “Was it worth the wait?”

Trailing slow, lazy kisses from his lips to his Adam’s apple, Emily murmured in response, “Rafael, you would have been worth waiting a decade for.” When her lips reached his collarbone, Emily gently sunk her teeth into his skin and Rafael let out a small gasp. 

“Vixen,” he growled. He unlatched her bra and pulled the straps over her arms before pushing her back onto the mattress. Suddenly, his mouth was back on her breast as his hand rolled her other breast between his fingers. Sighing in ecstasy, Emily ground her hips up. She could feel his erection growing harder and she moved her hips to rub it against her still wet core. “And I’m the tease,” Rafael whispered, removing his lips from her breast and glancing up at her. 

“Please,” Emily said quietly, her hands running through his hair as she continued to thrust up against him. 

Rafael sighed, but even as he kissed her again, she could hear his hand open the drawer on his side table. When he pulled back, he sat up once again and opened the condom. Emily was half tempted to make a snide remark about how prepared he was, but when he met her eyes as he slid it over himself, her breath hitched, and she put her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“Are you sure?” he asked quietly as he leaned forward and brushed a strand of hair from her face, pressing a soft kiss to her neck. 

“Yes,” Emily said without a second of hesitation. “I want you.”

Resting his weight on his elbow, Rafael spread her legs slightly wider with his knees. She complied, moving them up to rest against his waist as she watched, heart racing, as his hand guided his cock to her entrance. Her hands gripped his shoulders tightly for reassurance as he slowly pressed into her. She kept her lip between her teeth, biting back a moan that threatened to come out at the feeling. He slid in slowly until their hips met. 

“Is--is it okay?” he asked, voice shaking. He moved his other arm up to rest his elbow next to her head and stare down into her face. 

Emily let out a hum of approval and smiled at him. “It’s fucking wonderful,” she whispered before she tugged his face to hers for a kiss. She could feel him smiling as he began to slowly thrust in and out of her. Before long, however, his pace picked up and he leaned forward to press his body against hers as he slammed into her over and over. Emily let out a long moan, but she quickly buried her face into his neck, attaching her teeth to his shoulder to silence her screams. She heard Rafael moan at this, but he did not slow his pace. Instead, his thrusts only got harder and deeper to the point where Emily’s vision was blurring from pleasure. She thought she would make him bleed from trying to keep from crying out. 

Her nails raked down his back as sweat let their bodies slide against each other without any friction. Rafael had his lips pressed against her ear. His panting and moans of her name set her stomach ablaze. Her nails dug into his skin, encouraging him on as her teeth finally released his shoulder. She let her head tip back against the pillow as she let out a long moan. To hell with it, she thought. The neighbors were already getting an ear full with the banging of the headboard, she might as well give them a full show. 

“That’s it,” Rafael whispered into her ear, breathless. “I want to hear you.”

She whimpered slightly before gasping out his name and a string of other words. She was half out of her mind, only able to focus on the growing tightening in her abdomen. She clenched down harder on his back trying to hold on to something solid. Between his murmurings in her ear and the fullness of him moving inside her, all it took was one last deep thrust before her muscles tightened around his cock and she came, calling out his name so loudly she was certain the entire building would hear. 

As she was riding out her wave, Rafael continued to thrust harder inside her until he gasped. She glanced up and saw his face. His mouth was slightly open, and his eyes were clenched shut as he groaned her name. She hummed in satisfaction as she watched his face and felt him thrust into her a few more time before collapsing onto her chest. 

For a few minutes, they laid there in silence, both drenched in sweat and completely drained. She could feel his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. She pressed her lips to his forehead as she absently drew circles on his back. Her legs were still wrapped around his waist and she kept them there to keep him inside her even after he’d grown soft. 

It was strange, Emily found herself thinking. Six months ago, she’d despised this man. Now here she was, wondering how on Earth she’d ever lived without him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence, Assault

“You look happy,” Lucia commented, eying her son over their dessert as he checked his phone. “That can’t be a message from work. Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Mami,” Rafael tutted, quickly pressing send on the message to Emily. “You’re always so suspicious.”

“I’m not suspicious, I just know you. I gave birth to you. You’ve had this silly grin on your face all night.” Lucia looked to her own mother for support. “Que piensas mamá?” _What do you think, mama?_

“Rafi,” Catalina teased, smiling at him from the other side of the table. “Do you have a compañera?”

“Yes,” he said simply. Apparently, that was the last answer his mother and grandmother actually expected because when he looked up, they were both slack jawed. Huffing, he quickly collected the dirty dishes and got up to bring them to the kitchen. Over his shoulder, he told them, “Now that’s one less thing you two can hassle me about when I visit.”

From the dining room, he suddenly heard an outburst. His mother and grandmother were happily murmuring to each other in Spanish and though Rafael couldn’t fully hear the conversation, he assumed it was a joyous realization that the Barba lineage might continue after all. When he finally returned to the table, he glowered at them both, but they only smiled back brightly. 

“So,” Lucia started immediately, leaning forward, elbows on the table. “What’s she like?”

“What’s her family like? Is she Catholic?”

“No, abuelita, she’s not Catholic.” Rafael tried to ignore the disapproving clucking from his grandmother. “She’s very smart, very pretty. Kind.”

“You didn’t meet her at work, did you?” Lucia asked, distastefully. 

“Mami, why is that always the first thing you assume?”

“Where else are you going to meet women?”

“Cuando podemos conocerla?” Catalina interrupted, her eyes bright with curiosity. _When can we meet her?_

Rafael calmed himself with a sip of water before he answered simply, “You actually already have.”

There was a confused silence for a second as Rafael waited for their reaction. He assumed it wouldn’t take them long to figure it out, but apparently, they didn’t have very much faith in him. The two women looked at each other, worry marring their features before Lucia looked at Rafael, her eyes stony. 

“Papi,” she said slowly. “Please do not tell me that you’ve started seeing Yelina again.”

It was quiet for a second before Rafael burst out laughing. His mother and grandmother stared at him, horrified, but Rafael couldn’t help himself. The idea was so absurd, he laughed for a solid minute, before he could regain his composure. 

“Por el amor de Dios--” _For the love of God--_

“Rafael!” his grandmother scolded.

“Lo siento,” he apologized, wiping tears away from his eyes. “But no. That ship sailed many, many years ago, mami. Besides, she’s still married.”

“Then who is it?”

“Solo díganos!” _Just tell us!_

“Emily,” he spat out finally, having a hard time controlling his laughter at the looks on their faces. “Emily Reinhardt.”

Both women were silent again and Rafael found himself worried that they’d be disappointed, but he was proven wrong. Within a matter of seconds, his grandmother was clapping, and his mother looked close to tears of joy. 

“Are you serious? When did this happen?”

“I asked her to dinner in August and we’ve been seeing each other since then.”

“Well I’ll be damned,” his mother said, sitting back in her chair looking shocked, but pleased. 

“Mis oraciones han sido contestadas!” _My prayers have been answered!_

“Please, abuelita,” he scoffed. “And you say I’m dramatic.”

* * *

Emily heard the door open and she left the bedroom to look down the stairwell to make sure it was Rafael. When she saw him, she called out, “I’m upstairs! I just need to put on my makeup.”

She went back into the bathroom and began applying her mascara. A few seconds later, she looked in the mirror and saw Rafael toss his coat onto her bed. He walked into the bathroom and put his arms around her from behind, placing a soft kiss on the back of her neck. 

“You don’t need makeup,” he said as he planted more soft kisses up to her ear. “You’re beautiful already.”

“Flatterer,” she murmured. She finished putting on her eye makeup before she turned in his arms to face him. She lazily put her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair. “You better kiss me now before I put my lipstick on.”

With a smirk, he did just that. They spent a few minutes in each other’s arms before Emily finally pushed him away and out of the bathroom. “We’re going to be late if you don’t stop distracting me. Just gimme one more minute!” 

“So you say,” she heard Rafael murmur as she watched him take a seat on the end of her bed and turn on her television. “Seriously? LMZ?”

Emily let out a small laugh as she finished putting on her lipstick and left the bathroom to pick out jewelry from the box on top of her dresser. 

“What? It’s the only way I can find out what you’re up to most days.”

There was no quick comeback and after she put her earring on, she turned to find Rafael staring blankly at her television, eyes wide.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, picking up another earring and turning to look at the screen. 

There was what looked like a security camera video playing on the screen of a couple in a stairwell. Before Emily could even make out what was happening, the man punched the woman in the face, and she fell the ground. Emily stopped, her hands still halfway to her ear as she stood staring at the screen in horror. 

“Rafi--”

“Turn on LMZ. They’ve got the stairwell footage.” 

Emily turned and realized that Rafael was on the phone, still staring at the screen. Emily looked back at the looping video, becoming more nauseous the more times she saw the man on the screen punch the woman. 

“We should go,” Rafael said finally, picking up the remote and turning the television off. “We’ll be late.”

Emily could barely get herself to move, however, let alone finish getting ready. “What was that?”

Rafael sighed, picking up his coat and running a hand over the back of his neck. “AJ Martin and his girlfriend Paula Bryant.”

“The football player?” 

“Yes,” Rafael picked up her coat and held it out to her. Shaking her head to clear it, she finished putting on her earring and let him help her into her coat. “One of the detectives found part of the video and questioned the couple today, but the girlfriend isn’t cooperating.” 

“They’ll have to arrest him now, though,” Emily insisted as she followed Rafael down the stairs. He didn’t respond and when they got out onto the sidewalk, she stopped him before he could hail a cab. “Rafi, you’re going to charge him, right? He hit her. On camera. He should be in jail!”

“It’s more complicated than that, Em,” Rafael tried to explain, but he stopped her when he saw the flare in her eyes. “Let’s not talk about this now.” 

That plan didn’t exactly work, though, as every person they encountered at dinner that night stopped to ask Rafael about the video. He deflected every one of them or straight out ignored them. He checked his phone more than once to respond to questions from the squad room via text and all the while Emily watched him closely. The video was replaying on repeat in her mind, but what bothered her more was Rafael’s answer to her question. The fact that the man she was dating, the man she thought she knew, the man she let kiss her so tenderly was willing to let this guy get off after beating his girlfriend. To say she was angry was an understatement. 

As Rafael attempted to walk her back to her house that night, Emily stayed a few steps ahead. After a few blocks, Rafael finally sighed and asked, “Em, will you please just tell me what’s wrong?”

“Why don’t you just beat it out of me,” she said over her shoulder to him. “AJ Martin’s going to get away with it, right? I’m sure you would, too.”

The sound of footsteps behind her abruptly stopped. She took a few more steps and stopped, too, taking a deep breath before she turned to face him. 

“Low blow, Emily. You know I would never touch you like that.” 

“Do I?” Emily asked harshly, folding her arms over her chest and taking a step towards him. Rafael stood his ground and Emily had to ignore the obvious hurt on his face. “A few hours ago, I thought so, but I also thought you would never let a woman beater go free.”

“It’s not that simple, Emily,” Rafael began. “Not everything is so damn black and white.”

“Isn’t it?” she pushed, raising her voice. “What if that was your mother, Rafael? Would you let him off then?”

“Enough!” 

They both fell silent. Emily had never heard Rafael yell before. The fact that it was at her made her feel even worse. She looked at him, his jaw set, his eyes glaring off across the street. His hands were balled into fists and he was breathing deeply to control his anger. Her heart was pounding, and she felt sick. 

“I’m sorry--” he started, but his hands were still clenched, and his face was still flushed.

“Stop,” Emily interrupted, taking a step back. “Do what you have to do, Rafael.”

* * *

“What’s their story?” he asked, his voice brash. He was sick of this case already. 

“They were drunk. She was stumbling and he had to stop her,” Olivia explained. “What I saw was an assault.”

“We’re on the same page,” Rafael conceded, turning away from the one window and moving to the other to examine the ‘wife beater.’ “Let’s hope that video is damning enough he won’t want this going to trial.”

“Trial?” Olivia turned to Rafael, pointing into the box at AJ Martin. “You want to plea this down? He should be in jail!”

“Yeah, he should,” Rafael agreed, but met Olivia’s eyes defiantly. “But he’s personable, charismatic, Paula supports him, the jury’s gonna want to forgive him--”

“You know what,” Olivia interrupted. “You’re right. We should just slap him on the wrist and send him home.” She gave Rafael one last disbelieving look before leaving him in her office. 

Rafael bit the inside of his cheek and watched her back for a second. As he glanced through the glass at AJ once more, Emily’s words rang through his head. “AJ Martin’s going to get away with it, right? I’m sure you would, too.”

He hadn’t been able to get her voice out of his head since then and she still seemed to be goading him, even now. Clenching his jaw, he tried to clear his head as he followed Olivia into the interrogation room. 

“AJ was defending himself.”

Rafael couldn’t help the incredulous look on his face at Rita’s words, but the defense attorney went on. 

“But if you want to make a reasonable offer, we’ll hear you out.”

“The other D.A. said something about anger management,” AJ said and Rafael fought the urge to laugh. “We’ll go. A.A. whatever it takes.”

“Good for you,” Rafael responded dryly. “Acknowledging there was no serious injury, assault three. Ninety days.”

“Assault three, no jail time, two-hundred hours of community service,” Rita countered.

“AJ’s gonna have to do a lot more than pick up garbage with a pointy stick for this one,” Olivia jumped in, pushing off from the wall she was leaning against to come stand beside Rafael. 

“My client has already been suspended by his network,” Rita argued, resting her hand defensively on AJ’s shoulder. “Assault three with jail time is an overreach. She didn’t even go to the hospital.”

“You know what, you’re right,” Rafael said before he could stop himself. “This is really reckless endangerment. Gross disregard for her safety which could have caused serious injury.”

“You want us to plead to a felony?”

“I would never hurt Paula,” AJ said as he stood up from his chair. “She’ll back me up on that.”

“You heard the man,” Rita said, a challenge in her voice. “We’ll see you in court.”

“Fine,” Rafael said. “Tomorrow. Nine AM.”

It wasn’t until Rita and AJ had left the room that he dared to look over at Olivia. The look of surprise on her face wasn’t exactly a shock to him, but it did annoy him slightly. “What?” he demanded. 

“Reckless endangerment? Really?” she asked, her eyebrows raised. “Two minutes ago, you were dying to plead this out.”

“Like you both said, he should be in jail,” Rafael sighed as he turned towards the door. 

“Us both?” 

Rafael silently cursed himself but didn’t bother to answer her. “Have one of your detectives bring me over all the case files.”

* * *

Emily was sitting at her actual desk eating a late lunch. She was trying to warm up from having been in an unheated building all morning when Nate came in and plopped his tablet down on her desk in front of her. 

“You finally find those hinges I’ve been asking for?” Emily didn’t even bother to look away from her own computer screen as she reviewed the month’s variance reports, scrolling the mouse with one hand and taking bites of salad with the other. 

Nate huffed, “I’m working on it, okay? I think we’ve got a place that’ll make replicas.” Before Emily could argue, he tapped her desk so she would look up from her excel file. “Your boyfriend made the papers again.”

At this Emily did look up, her stomach churning slightly. She glared at Nate before picking up the tablet and scrolling through the article he had pulled up on it. Emily’s heart twisted when she saw the photos of Rafael in front of the judge in arraignment. 

“They charged him?” 

“Reckless endangerment! That man of yours has got some giant balls,” Nate said. Emily couldn’t tell if he was impressed or amused. She sighed and handed him the tablet back. 

“He’s not my man, Nate,” she said as she turned back to the computer. “But yes, he does.”

For the next couple of days, Emily only kept up with Rafael by watching the trial unfold over the news. Her heart ached as she watched videos of him exiting the courthouse or read articles quoting what he’d said in court. 

All the while, he was silent. No calls, no texts, no emails. She couldn’t say it was completely abnormal. Since they had begun dating three months before, he sometimes went radio silent for a few days at a time when he was working on a big case, but this had been the longest. She wondered if she should reach out to him, but whenever she picked up her phone to call him, she stopped herself. She’d messed up and this was her punishment.

* * *

The conviction was a bittersweet one, especially after the run in with Paula after the jury announcement. They’d taken away her choice, she’d said. They’d beaten her up. As badly as Rafael felt for the woman, Rafael couldn’t agree with her. No one had stepped in and taken that choice away from his own mother.

As he left work that night, he checked his phone. Still no calls or texts from Emily. She had been right, as she usually was about him, but this time it had been different. The look on her face after he’d yelled at her was still etched in his mind. He could still hear her saying she wasn’t certain he wouldn’t hit her. 

If he asked his mother, she would say that all couples had to have their first fight, but Rafael wasn’t certain he shouldn’t just give this up and quit while he was ahead. Emily had always seemed too good to be true. She was patient about his work -- hell she worked almost just as much as he did if not more -- she was beautiful, smart, funny, even got along with his family. He should have known it couldn’t last. 

A taxi stopped in front of him, distracting him from his thoughts and before he could think better of his judgement, he instructed the driver to bring him to her office. 

It was Friday so most everyone had left by four o’clock, but from the sidewalk, he could still see the light on in her office window. He buzzed and after a minute, her voice came on over the intercom. 

“We’re closed for the day. Can I take a message?”

“Em, it’s me. Rafael.”

There was silence for a few seconds, making him worry she was going to leave him out in the cold, but then the door buzzed and he pushed it open. 

She was in her office, making notes on a set of architectural drawings. She glanced up when she saw him and attempted to smile, but Rafael knew instantly that she was weary of him. He sighed internally. Her hair was in a messy bun, haphazardly thrown back to keep it out of her face as she worked. She had on jeans and pink knit sweater. Even with no makeup on her face, she still looked so lovely it made his heart ache. 

“Sorry to come by unannounced,” he began, but she quickly waved a hand at him. She stood up and dropped her pen. 

“I’m surprised Eddie hasn’t just given you the code yet,” she said with a shrug as she put her hands out to take his coat. She took it and turned her back to him as she hung it on her coat rack by the door. “Congratulations on the conviction. You had my entire staff enthralled all week.”

“Emily, I’m--” Rafael tried to say, but she spoke over him as she turned back to him. 

“I’m sorry I put so much pressure on you about it,” Emily said. Her arms hugged her stomach and she stared at his shoes, her blue eyes growing bright with unshed tears. “It wasn’t my place.”

“That’s not it, you had every right to be upset,” Rafael started. He looked around the room as they fell into silence for a second. With a sigh, he took a seat on the couch and folded his hands as he leaned forward onto his knees. Staring at his hands, he explained, “When you said that I should just beat you and then you brought up my mother--”

“Raf--”

“It hit close to home,” he said before she could interrupt him. “Too close.” 

He didn’t look up to see her, but he could feel her sit down next to him. She stayed quiet and he took a deep breath, continuing, “My mother protected me from my father until I was ten. I could hear from my room as he beat her and I would find her the next day, bloody and bruised. When I was ten, my mother finally got pregnant again. A girl. She made it five months before he started back up,” he paused, only just realizing now that his hands were shaking. “I heard it starting from my room and I got between them to protect her. Protect my hermanita, but it didn’t matter.”

At that point his vision began to blur and before he even realized he was crying, tears fell down his cheeks. He quickly reached up to wipe them away, but before he could Emily was already gently running her fingers underneath his eyes. When he looked up at her, he was shocked to see tears welling up in her own eyes and it made him feel even worse. 

“I’m sorry,” he stammered, his voice watery. “I shouldn’t have put this on you.”

“Rafi,” she said softly, her fingers still wiping away his tears. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I will listen to anything you want to tell me, good or bad. Please, don’t ever think you have to hold anything back.”

Not able to answer, Rafael laid his head on her shoulder, burying his face into her sweater. Emily wrapped her arms around him and held him, stroking his back as she pressed her own face into his hair. 

“Mi amor,” she whispered. “Está bien.”


	10. Chapter 10

When Emily walked into the conference room at City Hall, she expected to see the president of the Gracie Mansion Conservancy Board and maybe the Deputy Mayor of housing. The last thing she expected was to be greeted by the Mayor himself. From the looks she exchanged with Liz, her project manager, and Nate, they were surprised as well. 

“Mr. Mayor,” Emily said as she gave him a firm handshake. His other hand came up and held her arm for a moment as he smiled at her. She felt herself gritting her teeth at his over familiarity, but she tried to smile. 

“Please, call me Alex,” he said. His smile widened as he gave her a once over from head to toe. It made Emily’s skin crawl. “We were all very impressed with your bid.”

“I would hope so,” Emily said, simply. “Or else I doubt we’d be about to sign a contract. Shall we?”

Emily looked over the table at Liz and the two women shared a knowing look as the mayor pulled out the chair for Emily next to his. Even Nate and their assistant project manager, Theresa, looked weary as Emily watched them exchange glances as they all sat. 

The first twenty minutes of negotiations went fine. They went over the contract with a fine-tooth comb, from allowable start times to insurance requirements to the pay schedule. As the representatives from the Conservancy explained the organization’s preservation philosophy, Emily felt a hand land on her knee. She nearly jumped out of her seat, but the hand squeezed her leg and the mayor’s voice was quickly in her ear. 

“It isn’t often we get to work with a company owned by such a beautiful woman,” he purred. “Who employs other beau--”

“Get your hand off me before I shove this pen up your ass,” Emily growled under her breath as she turned to face him. She clenched her teeth and barely blinked as her eyes bored into his. The mayor seemed surprised, but he did slowly remove his hand. “You hired a contractor,” she hissed. “Not an escort. I suggest next time you try Craigslist.”

Standing, Emily closed the folder in front of her and slid it across the table. As she buttoned her blazer, she met her employees' eyes across the table and they all quickly followed suit, shutting their folders and standing. 

“We appreciate the opportunity,” Emily said curtly as she walked to the door. “But Reinhardt Construction is retracting our bid. Good luck with the project.”

The Deputy Mayor chased them out of the room and followed them down the hall, but Emily kept her eyes forward. 

“We already awarded you the project! You’ll have to use the performance bond!”

“We never signed the contract,” Emily could hear Liz respond, calmly. “Performance bond doesn’t apply here. Go with the next lowest bid.”

When they stopped at the elevator, the Deputy cut Emily off and glared at her. “This is a twenty-million-dollar project, you can’t just walk out.”

Emily kept his gaze, her jaw set and her face hard. Reaching around him, she pressed the down button on the elevator. 

“Watch me.”

* * *

Rafael walked out of the courthouse and glanced around for the coffee stand, but instead his eyes were caught by a familiar figure leaning against an SUV across the street outside City Hall. Narrowing his eyes, Rafael swore they were playing tricks on him. It seemed like tempting fate for Eddie Garcia to be in this close proximity to their old friend Alex Munoz. 

Curiosity getting the best of him, Rafael crossed the street and called out to his old friend, “Eddie!”

Glancing up from his phone, Eddie smiled widely. “Hey! Rafi! What’s going on?”

“I was going to ask you,” Rafael said as he raised his eyebrows. “What are you doing here?”

Eddie shrugged at him, nodding up towards City Hall. “The boss lady had to sign a contract today. I was parked around the corner, but she just texted and said to pull around.”

“Emily?” Rafael clarified. “She bid on a city project?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded. His voice grew quiet. “She bid on the Gracie Mansion project a few months ago. They just got word their bid was accepted.”

Rafael let out an audible groan. “Great. I hope she knows not to have you show up there.”

“I told her it would probably be a bad idea,” Eddie said, sighing. “She didn’t pry, but--”

Eddie cut himself off as he looked over Rafael’s shoulder. Turning to see what he was looking at, Rafael caught a glimpse of Emily marching down the steps of City Hall, her team behind her. From the look on her face, she looked as though she was about to commit murder. 

“I’ll take it didn’t go well,” Rafael said blandly. 

“Doesn’t look like it,” Eddie said, sounding slightly nervous. He shook his head at Rafael as he pushed himself off the hood. Rafael smiled at him weakly and clapped him on the shoulder. 

“No te preocupes,” Rafael told him, trying to sound encouraging. _Don’t worry._ “With that look, she’s probably already made someone cry today so her quota should be reached.” Rafael could hear Eddie laughing as he crossed back across the street in search of his coffee.

* * *

“This is a terrible idea.”

“Seriously? I’ve already met you mother and your grandmother!”

Rafael snorted. “That doesn’t count.”

Emily elbowed him slightly with the arm she had woven through his and glared at him. A part of her understood why he was nervous meeting her family. Her family was at least twice the size of his and came from a completely different cultural background. While he’d grown up as a single child in a Cuban family, she’d grown up in a very large white family. Sure, they were both from predominantly immigrant neighborhoods, but that didn’t guarantee Rafael’s acceptance into the Reinhardt clan. 

“Your family does know Christmas Eve was two weeks ago?”

Sighing, she tried not to roll her eyes. “I told you, we celebrate Christmas on the 6th. So, this is our Christmas Eve.”

“That makes absolutely no sense,” Rafael continued to argue.

“We’re Armenian. Nothing we do makes sense! Just feel lucky I didn’t make you go to the Divine Liturgy,” Emily snapped. “We had to go every year while my grandmother was still alive.”

“I can handle long church services, thank you,” Rafael responded. “Being introduced to my girlfriend’s large Bostonian family--” Emily smiled goofily at him when he said girlfriend, but he ignored her and continued. “I’d rather face the second coming of Christ.”

“You’ll be fine,” Emily assured him. “Just don’t turn down any food or drinks--”

“I didn’t know you were Cubanos.”

“Don’t talk about religion with my brother Isaac, he’s an atheist. Don’t let my nephew Luke get ahold of your phone, he’ll try to hack into it. Don’t call my dad Mr. Reinhardt, he’ll never let you live it down. And whatever you do, do not tell my mother you’re a special victims D.A.”

“Why not?” Rafael asked, curious at her vehemence. 

“She watches too much I.D. Channel. She’ll go on all night.”

As they got closer to her brother’s Brooklyn townhouse, Emily could feel Rafael getting more and more antsy beside her. He was fidgeting with his jacket and scarf. Emily sighed and tried to keep calm herself. 

It had been five years since she’d brought a boyfriend home and she’d never brought one home for a holiday. Christmas -- or at least Armenian Christmas -- seemed like the best idea as her family always got along best over food, but glancing over at Rafael, she had to wonder if she may have pushed him into this too soon. If this didn’t make him run for the hills, then maybe they stood a fair shot, she thought to herself as she pulled Rafael up the front steps.

“Ready?” she asked as she lifted her hand to knock. 

“As I’ll ever be,” he told her with a small smirk. 

“Emmy!” Before Emily could even knock, her five-year-old niece threw open the door and rushed her. She let out a small ‘oaf’ as Elaine wrapped her arms tightly around Emily’s middle. 

“Hi, sweet girl,” Emily said with a small laugh. “Can we come in?”

Elaine looked up at her aunt beaming but caught sight of Rafael and froze. She kept hold of Emily and pulled her into the house, trying to close the door on Rafael, but Emily caught the door for him and held it open until he could make a quick entrance. “Elaine, don’t be rude.”

From down the hall, Emily suddenly heard her sister-in-law yell to Elaine in Portuguese. Instantly the girl scurried away into the living room with one last glare at Rafael as the older woman stuck her head around the corner from the kitchen. “Em, is that you?” 

“Yeah, Elaine just let us in,” she yelled back. Emily took off her coat and put it on a peg by the door. There was already more than half a dozen on the rack and the multitude of voices in the other room led her to believe they weren’t the first to arrive. Ines came down the hall, her one-year old son Matheus, on her hip, as Emily was putting up Rafael’s coat. 

“She’s been such a monster this morning,” Ines complained as she kissed Emily on the cheek. “All the attention is going to her head. You must be Rafael.”

Rafael stuck out his hand to shake Ines’, before casting a curious look at Emily. She raised an eyebrow at his expression before they were ushered into the kitchen where her brothers worked over the stove as the women in her family stood around drinking. Everyone was talking over each other. Per usual, was hard to keep up amongst the conversations in English, Armenian, and Portuguese all going on at once.

“Em!” both her brothers and oldest sister yelled at the same time, causing her to grimace slightly at the noise. For a few minutes, she was lost in hugs and introductions. After she was settled at the counter with a glass of wine and Matheus sucking at her shirt collar, she finally got the chance to look over and see Rafael in conversation with her brother Jake. He had a beer in his hand and when he caught her looking, he smiled. She let out a sigh of relief that he wasn’t completely panicked yet. Or at least he didn’t look it. 

“He’s cute,” her sister Kristen said as she leaned on the counter next to her. “I gotta hand it to him, he’s brave taking on the whole family at once.”

Emily pried her necklace out of her nephew’s fist and looked up at her older sister. “It won’t be so bad.”

“Yeah, but seriously Em,” her brother Aaron interrupted. “You could have weaned him into it. One at a time or something.”

“Oi! It was your idea! You’re the one who told me to invite him!” she accused, pointing her finger at Aaron, who held up his hands and retreated back to the stove. 

“Yeah, but no one actually listens to Aaron,” Kristen countered.

“Is that Emily yelling already?” Emily sighed. She’d been hoping to avoid her mother until she’d at least finished her first glass -- or bottle -- of wine. “Did she bring him?” 

Emily looked up slowly from her glass. “Yeah, mum. We’re in here.”

By the time they sat down for dinner, Emily felt like she hadn’t seen Rafael for hours. She’d been caught up in conversation with her father, interrogated by her brothers, wrapped up into her sister Louise’s drama by her mother, and she was certain Rafael had done the same rounds, though she’d only seen him from across the room. When they sat down next to each other at the table, she looked over at him, certain he was going to break up with her before the night was over. 

Before she could even let out the breath she’d been holding in, he put his hand on her knee and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “This isn’t half as bad as you made it out to be.” He squeezed her knee and sat back. She smiled at him, meeting his green eyes for a second and losing herself in the thought of how lucky she was. Suddenly, though, the spell was broken when she heard her sister Louise. 

“Rafael’s a lot better than Evan, Em,” she said loud enough for the whole table to hear. “So long as you don’t run him off being a workaholic. Or is he after you for your money?”

Emily took a slow sip of her wine and glared at her sister across the table. Louise, already visibly tipsy, just smiled back sardonically at her sister. Emily could see her other sister and brothers ready to step in, but it was Rafael who spoke first. 

“You’re completely right,” he said as he served himself some nevik, eying it suspiciously as he did, and handed the bowl to Emily. “Your sister is actually my sugar mama and I just showed up for the free meal.”

A loud laugh came from Emily’s father, who nearly choked on the piece of ham he’d just eaten, as the rest of her family chuckled slightly. The conversation resumed normally after that, but Emily still felt like a rock had formed in the pit of her stomach. Halfway through dinner, as she listened to Rafael discuss police misconduct with her brother Isaac to her right, Emily felt Rafael’s hand on her knee again. The rock in her stomach dissipated slightly, but she still covered his hand with hers and squeezed for the extra reassurance. 

“You like him, huh?” her father asked. They sat together after dinner on a small sofa on the far side of the living room. Emily had upgraded from wine to straight bourbon as her father sipped his decaf. 

“Yeah, dad. I do,” she said quietly as she rested her head on her hand and watched Rafael across the room. He was sitting on the floor by the coffee table playing a very heated game of Monopoly cards with her nieces and older nephew. Every so often she could hear him curse under his breath in Spanish. 

“Dad!” Emily heard her niece Hannah yell for her brother-in-law Owen who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. “Rafael keeps saying bad words!”

“Then stop being a sore winner,” Owen responded before going back to his conversation with Ines.

Emily glanced up at her own father and saw that he was also watching her boyfriend very carefully. His expression, as per usual, was unreadable. His blue eyes, so like her own, rarely gave away what he was thinking, but when he caught her looking at him, he smiled. “As long as you’re happy, that’s what matters.”

“But do you like him?”

Her father thought carefully about his answer before finally saying slowly, “He seems nice.”

“Really? That’s it?”

He shrugged and took another sip of his coffee. “You and the rest of your siblings -- well, Louise is a different case entirely -- have good taste in partners. He seems like a good guy,” he nodded towards Rafael and then looked back at Emily. “As long as he treats you right and you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Rafael tucked Emily’s hand into his pocket as they walked back to the train that night. He was still grumbling about how her nephew had cheated at cards. 

“I’m grateful we got through it without my dad or brothers threatening you at least,” Emily said with a sigh. 

“No, they didn’t, but your sisters did.”

Emily was shocked. She stopped and Rafael was forced to as her hand was still interlocked with his. “Louise and Kristen?”

“Louise? No,” Rafael laughed. “Kristen, yes. And Ines. Even Ines’ sister Claudia. They cornered me one by one and said if I hurt you, no one would ever find me.” 

“Threatening a D.A.,” Emily said with a sigh as they began walking again. Rafael squeezed her hand and looked over at her with a smile. “I’m sorry, they’re protective.”

“You never said your sister-in-law was Brazilian,” he said offhandedly. 

“It never came up,” Emily said with a shrug. He was quiet for a second and then it suddenly dawned on Emily. “Oh! You were worried they’d judge you.” Rafael gave her a sidelong glance out of the corner of his eye but refused to confirm or deny. Emily chuckled and continued, “Well, they did judge but not in the way you thought. Ines and Claudia always said to never date a Latino.”

“What?” Rafael said shocked, turning to Emily looking offended. “That’s ridiculous!”

Emily continued to laugh but tried to soothe his hurt ego. “They like you, though, they said so before we left.”

Rafael continued to grumble as they walked. They fell into silence as they both thought. Suddenly, Rafael asked, “How much do you make a year?”

Emily was caught off guard and looked at him confused, “What?”

“Money. How much money do you make a year?”

She stopped again and waited until he turned to face her. “Really?”

His face was blank as he stood, waiting patiently for an answer. Pulling her hand from his, Emily pushed it into her pocket and thought. “Last year after employee wages, mortgages, insurance, taxes,” she paused as she met his eyes and said quietly, “Around three and half million.”

It was silent between them for a few long, excruciating moments as Rafael stared at her blankly and Emily shifted from foot to foot waiting for a response. Finally, Rafael took a deep breath and told her, not breaking eye contact for a second, “After taxes, I take home a little less than ninety thousand a year. I get raises periodically, if budgets allow.” 

“Is this about what Louise said?” Emily said, annoyed. “Rafi, me and her just have a complicated relationship.”

“It is about that,” Rafael said, interrupting her. “I don’t want you to think I’m just with you for your money. If we’re going to make this work, make us work,” he said motioning between them with his hand. “I need to be honest with you. I’m never going to be able to compete with you where money is concerned.”

“I don’t want you to compete with me,” Emily insisted. She pushed her arms through the front of his open jacket to wrap her arms around him. He looked uncomfortable and sighed, looking away. “I don’t want someone who makes as much money as me, Rafael. I want you,” she told him sternly, glaring at him until he finally relented and met her eyes. “Would you still want to be with me if I couldn’t be your sugar mama?” she teased, pouting at him. 

In spite of himself, he laughed and moved his hands up to hold her face. “Mi vida,” he whispered. “I wanted you even when I thought you were just a grungy construction worker.” 

Emily tried to laugh, but it was silenced with a kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

This was his sixth cup of coffee and he couldn’t help but wish it was something stronger. He was fuming as he marched down the hall back to his office after hearing the prognosis of his defendant. A panic attack, really? For all the drama it caused in the courtroom, it might as well have been an episode of Judge Judy. 

Still fuming, he took his phone out of his pocket when it vibrated, half expecting it to be Benson or the defense attorney. Instead, he found two messages from Emily. The first was filled with laughing emojis. The second read:

_You gave the man a heart attack during cross?! It’s payback for the dandy comment, isn’t it?_

Rafael let out a groan of annoyance. Great, even his girlfriend knew about this fiasco already. Setting down his coffee on the closest window ledge, he quickly wrote back. 

_IT WAS NOT A HEART ATTACK. It was a panic attack. Do you have a google alert on me!? Go restore a hotel or something._

With a huff, he set back off down the hall, but it wasn’t long before his phone pinged again. He was tempted to ignore her, but he glanced at his phone anyways. 

_I don’t, but Eddie and Nate do. You’ve got a fan club here. They want to make t-shirts._

To Carmen’s surprise, Rafael actually laughed as he stepped into his office. When he practically fell into his chair, he received her last message, ever the encouraging girlfriend.

_Keep your head up, babe. Don’t bite anyone’s head off and lay off the caffeine._

* * *

After Rafael left the precinct, he found Emily in a sport’s bar down the street. He almost laughed when he saw her sitting at the bar. She looked so out of place. Her hair was done up in a loose coif at the bottom of her neck. Her long, light blue evening gown was pulled up to her knees as she sat on a barstool, sipping a glass of whiskey and chatting with the man to her left. The elderly man laughed at something she said, seemingly not fazed by the younger woman’s fancy attire. 

“I’ll have what she’s having,” Rafael told the bartender as he took the empty seat on her right. Emily glanced over and smiled at him brightly. 

“How’d it go? Was it him?”

His response was a groan and nod as he took a long sip of his drink. “Unfortunately,” he told her. “I told them to let him go.” Emily raised her eyebrows at him over her drink and he sighed, knowing what she was thinking. “Politely.”

“Well, I bet they weren’t too happy about that,” she said, snorting slightly. 

“No, I’m sure I’ll catch hell for it tomorrow,” he said. He rested his elbow on the bar and leaned his cheek on his palm. Not being able to help himself, he reached up and tucked a stray section of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry we had to leave at intermission.”

“Don’t be,” Emily said, turning towards him. She set her hand on his knee and smiled at him, reassuringly. “I could tell Kathy wanted to show us off after the show. It means we won’t end up on Page 6 tomorrow as the newest couple to watch.”

It was Rafael’s turn to snort. “You really think that we’re that interesting?”

“It’s been a slow news week,” she joked, reaching up to straighten his bowtie. “Though I’m pretty sure once news of the arrest hit’s the papers, we’ll be in the clear.”

Finishing off his glass, he set it down on the bar and stood up, offering her his hand. “Let’s get out of here. You hungry?”

“Starving,” she affirmed. Hopping off the stool, she leaned up to press a kiss to his lips before she murmured quietly, “I’ve been dying to get you out of that tux since you showed up on my doorstep.”

“Well in that case,” he said as he tossed cash onto the bar and took her hand, guiding her to the exit. “Let’s skip straight to dessert. Your place?”

* * *

Emily knew that she shouldn’t be here. She wasn’t certain Rafael would be angry or annoyed when he found out about her visiting his grandmother, but either way she was prepared for the consequences. The man hadn’t been able to visit himself, though, he obviously thought of little else from the worry line that had creased his forehead the past two days since hearing of his grandmother’s fall. He tried to hide his concern from Emily by changing the subject or avoiding her altogether, but she knew better. 

“Mrs. Barba?” 

Catalina looked up from the television show she was watching on the screen across her hospital room. When she saw Emily enter the room, she brightened up immediately and held out her hands to the younger woman. “Emily! How are you, querida? Is Rafael with you?”

“No, he’s working.” Both women tsked and shook their heads at each other knowingly. “But he sends his love. How are you feeling? Lucia and Raf have had me worried.”

Catalina rolled her eyes and shook her head. She patted her hand on the mattress next to her and Emily smiled as she took a seat on the edge of the bed. “I’m fine, honestly,” the older woman said as she took Emily’s hands in her own. “Those two worry about nothing. I just want to go home.”

Emily squeezed Catalina’s hands. “What? You don’t like it here?” she teased. 

Catalina made a face. “The food is awful,” she confided. “And I’m so bored. The only thing they play on TV is the news and that Jeffrey Springer show where everyone fights.”

Chuckling, Emily pulled her hands out Catalina’s and reached down for the bag she’d brought with her. “Well, I’ve brought a few things to help with that,” she said as she pulled out the bag of baked goods she’d brought. Catalina clapped happily and Emily smiled. “And also, Lucia said you enjoyed crosswords.” Emily set a new book of crosswords and a fresh pen on her side table. 

“Niña querida,” Catalina said, gratefully. “You’re too sweet. Rafael is lucky to have you.”

* * *

“I just don’t understand why she’s so stubborn,” Rafael said, throwing up his hands in annoyance. “She can’t possibly stay there! It’s a three floor walkup, for Christ’s sake.”

“Mhm,” Emily muttered under her breath as she cleared the plates away from her kitchen table and brought them to the sink. “Sounds like someone else I know.”

Rafael glared at her from the other side of the kitchen. “Excuse me,” he said, trying not to grit his teeth. “It’s only two floors. And I’m not an eighty-year-old abuelita!”

“You sure make a good act of it some days,” Emily teased. When she looked up from the glass of scotch she was pouring, her eyes were bright with amusement. Rafael huffed and continued to glower at her, however, until Emily finally sighed and returned to the table with his drink. “It’s her home, Raf. Of course, she doesn’t want to leave. Do you think I’ll ever get my parents to sell their house in Dorchester? No, they’re too comfortable.”

“But when your parents get too old to take care of themselves, they’ve got six kids to help look out for them,” he countered. “She’s only got me and my mother. We can’t possibly give her the attention she needs.”

“What about home care?” Emily suggested, taking the seat next to him and absentmindedly running her fingers over his knee. “You could have her groceries delivered?”

“I suggested that and got shot down.”

Rafael took a sip of his drink and rubbed his eyes. Emily was quiet for a moment, but he knew she was still pondering.

“I could help,” she offered, and Rafael looked up at her with a non-convinced look. “I could help bring her groceries, I’m sure--”

“Emily, no,” Rafael said firmly. “You don’t have the time and this isn’t your problem.”

“It’s your family, Rafael,” she said quietly. “I want to help if I can.”

He didn’t respond immediately, not sure how to. The stubbornness in him wanted to tell her to mind her own business, to stay out of it, but when he looked up into Emily’s eyes and saw the earnest concern, Rafael simply sighed. Taking her hand from his knee, he kissed the inside of her palm and held her hand to his cheek for a moment, taking comfort in the warmth. 

“I know, mi vida,” he said softly. “But I’m not sure you can.”

* * *

Have to go to home. Emergency. I’ll call you later.

Emily reread the text for the hundredth time. Rafael had sent it six hours ago when she’d called to ask why he hadn’t shown up for their lunch date. Instead of answering, he’d simply texted her. Since then there had been no communication, no texts, no calls, nothing. 

To say she was worried was an understatement. She’d spent the afternoon cleaning an already clean house. She dusted, rearranged the books on her bookshelf, even reorganized her Tupperware drawer. She drove herself slightly crazy with panic, but every time her mind went to the dark place of worry, she would find another area of her house that might need cleaning. 

When the doorbell rang at eight that night, she was sitting on the floor of her living room, sorting through her DVDs over a glass of wine. It was a welcome distraction as she set her glass on the coffee table and made her way to the front door. A breath of relief left her when she saw it Rafael through the peephole. 

“Jesus, you had me--” She stopped herself as he stepped inside. The look on his face was pained and she could tell that he’d been crying. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

Rafael didn’t answer her, he simply went into her living room and collapsed onto her couch. His head fell into his hands. Shutting the door, Emily quickly followed him. She sat down on the couch beside him, clutching his arm with one hand and rubbing his back with the other. Without him having to say it, Emily knew. Her heart broke for him as she watched him cry. 

“It’s my fault, Em,” he said finally, his voice heavy with tears and emotion. “If I hadn’t--”

“It’s not your fault,” she assured him, her voice stern. She quickly tugged his head from his hands and pulled him into her arms. “You did everything you could.”

“Did I?”

Emily could feel the tears soaking through her shirt, but she kissed his temple gently as her hand stroked his hair. “Yes, you did,” she told him. “She loved you, Rafi. So much. She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

Besides his sniffs and small sobs, Rafael grew quiet as he buried his face into her shirt. Emily sighed and held him tighter as he cried. She wanted to promise him it would be okay, to say some words of comfort, but there was nothing she could say. Instead, she just held onto him, silently letting him know she was there.

* * *

The funeral seemed to have gone by so quickly. One minute, he was holding his mother’s hand by his abuelita’s casket. The next, he was standing beside her as they greeted various people from the neighborhood who’d shown up at the bar down the street afterwards to support the family. 

His mother was distracted in conversation with one of her teacher’s when he heard the familiar voice. 

“Nuestras condolencias, Rafael.” _Our condolences._

He wanted to groan, but he swallowed the urge with a gulp of whiskey as he turned. There they stood, the mayor and his wife. They looked somber in their black attire, but Rafael could feel his fist clench tighter around the glass in front of himself. 

“Thank you, Mr. Mayor,” he said through gritted teeth. “Yelina,” he said, nodding to her. 

She nodded back and said, sound surprisingly sincere, “Tu abuela era una buena mujer.” _Your grandmother was a good woman._

“Yes,” Rafael responded as he finished off the rest of his drink. “She was.”

Avoiding eye contact with the couple, he looked over the room and instead caught the gaze of Emily. She was sitting next to Eddie at the bar. Her smile instantly faded when she saw the look on his face, and he gently shook his head at her in warning. The last thing he wanted was to bring her (or Eddie) into this mess. Not today. 

Yelina, however, caught the subtle movement of his head, and looked over her shoulder in the direction of his gaze. When she caught sight of Eddie at the bar with the dark-haired woman, her eyes instantly narrowed. 

“Shame on Eddie,” she spat. “Bringing a date to such an occasion.” 

Rafael could understand how it might appear that way as he watched his girlfriend and childhood friend from across the room. Emily must have said something to make Eddie turn around. When Emily moved to get off her barstool and go to Rafael, Eddie reached his hand up to stop her, shaking his head and saying something Rafael couldn’t hear over the crowd and at this distance. 

“That’s not his date,” Rafael corrected. “She’s his boss.”

Alex turned to see for himself who they were talking about and Rafael raised an eyebrow as the mayor’s jaw slacked. “Emily Reinhardt? Eddie works for her?”

“You know her?” Yelina and Rafael both asked, glancing at each other, but both quickly looking back at Alex. 

The mayor ignored them both and continued on, “How did he get that job? No one would even give him a reference.”

“I did,” Rafael said simply before taking a calm sip of his whiskey. The couple both looked at him shocked then Alex narrowed his eyes. 

“You’re sleeping with her,” the mayor accused. Rafael could feel his old friend’s eyes boring into the side of his head, but Rafael refused to meet his gaze. Instead, he kept his eyes on Emily who looked as though she was ready to jump out of her seat. 

“Alejandro--” Yelina tried to step in.

“You won’t even deny it?” Alex asked, his voice a low growl. 

“Why should I?” Rafael asked, finally turning back to raise his brows at the couple. “I don’t see how it’s either of your business. Now if you’ll excuse--”

Before Rafael could walk away, Alex grabbed him by the arm. “Mirate, Rafael. Piensas que eres tan grande y poderoso. Has dado la espalda a tus amigos, no se sorprenda si no estamos cerca cuando caes.” _Look at you, Rafael. You think you are so big and powerful. You've turned your back on your friends, don't be surprised if we're not around when you fall._

“Tal vez deberías echar un vistazo en el espejo,” Rafael spat as he turned back to Alex. _Maybe you should take a look in the mirror._ He glared at his old friend. He tilted his head and said quietly with a grimace, “Mi amigo.”

* * *

“Why is he here?” Emily asked out loud. Her smile instantly faded, and anger shot through her at the memory of her last meeting with the mayor. The woman on his arm, she recognized from photos as his wife. As she watched the couple talking to Rafael, her first instinct was to go to him and rescue him from the conversation. Rafael had met her gaze across the room, however, and with a small shake of his head warned her against it. 

“Who?” Eddie asked, setting his beer on the bar to turn and look in the direction Emily was gazing. When he saw the couple, his face immediately changed, and Emily became more concerned. “Hijo de puta.” _Mother fucker._

At the panic in Eddie’s voice, Emily moved to get off her barstool and go to Rafael, but Eddie put up his arm to stop her. 

“No, boss, don’t,” he said, sounding slightly frantic. “Let Rafi handle it.”

Reluctantly, she leaned back against the bar and just watched. It made her stomach turn when Alex looked over at her, the anger on his face obvious from here. She could tell the exchange was getting heated, especially when Rafael tried to walk away, but the mayor grabbed his arm. Glancing over at Eddie, she saw he was watching the interaction, too. His dark eyes were worried, and it did nothing to ease the tension Emily felt. 

“I don’t understand,” Emily said. “I know he’s not the city’s most popular prosecutor but--”

“It’s not that,” Eddie responded. “They have mala sangre.” At the confused look on Emily’s face, he said in English, “Bad blood.”

Emily did not get the chance to respond as Rafael appeared in front of her a second later. He leaned over her to set his empty glass on the bar and flag down the bartender for another. 

“Estás bien?” Eddie asked. 

“Nunca cambiará, verdad?” Rafael responded, shaking his head. Eddie clapped him on the shoulder, but Emily just continued to stare between the two confused as Rafael downed his drink. 

“How do you know the mayor?” Rafael asked finally when they were back in his apartment. Emily was sitting with her back propped against his pillows, checking her email as he slowly took off his suit and hung it up, piece by piece. He had been calm and collected throughout the rest of the evening, but the entire cab ride back to his apartment he had been silent. When Emily glanced up from her phone, she could see him watching her through the mirror on his closet door. 

“I met him a few months ago,” Emily said with a small shrug. She glanced back down at her phone, but when Rafael didn’t respond, she met his gaze in the mirror once more and sighed. “Remember the city project we pulled our bid on?”

Rafael nodded.

“When I went to sign the contract, he was there. He tried to feel me up.”

“What?” Rafael snapped, instantly turning around. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were busy,” she scoffed, but Rafael did not look convinced. “Besides, if I told you about every mother-fucker who tried to hit on me, we’d talk about nothing else.”

“This is a little different,” Rafael said under his breath as he turned back to finish taking off his shirt. “We’re talking about the mayor of New York.”

“What would you have done?” Emily asked and from Rafael’s silence, she knew his answer. “He would have made your life a living hell. Besides, we pulled out of a twenty-million-dollar project, I think he got the hint.”

For the next few minutes, Rafael was quiet as he finished changing. When he pulled on his pajama pants, he didn’t come to bed, however. Instead he went to the bedroom window and stared out at the street, his eyes looking far away. 

Getting up the nerve, Emily asked at last the question that had been on her mind for the past few hours, “Why did Eddie say you and the mayor have bad blood?”

“Because I had him charged with child porn,” Rafael answered simply. The last thing Emily was expecting was that answer, but Rafael did not see her slack jaw as he continued to stare out the window. “Eddie used to work for him and deliver money to the women he was having affairs with, to pay them off. He ended up testifying against Alex.” 

“Is that how you know Eddie? I thought you both grew up together?”

“We did,” Rafael answered slowly. “All of us. Me, Eddie, and Alex. We were as thick as thieves for years until we got older. I even introduced Alex to his wife Yelina.”

“Really?” Emily asked, moving to lie on her stomach as Rafael took a seat on the edge of the bed. 

“Yep, though she was my girlfriend at the time,” he told her with a humorless laugh. Face dark, Rafael finally turned to her and said with a weak shrug, “We dated the last few years of high school. We agreed that we’d stay together while I went to Harvard, even talked about getting married. We kept in touch the first semester, but after Christmas, I didn’t hear from her at all. I came back that first summer and she was with Alex.” He fell back onto the bed with a loud huff and turned his head to look up at Emily who was staring at him. “That’s why him and Yelina think the charges were personal. They think this was revenge of some kind, that I turned Eddie against them--”

“If it was revenge, that’s some pretty savage shit,” Emily said with a small snort. “He steals your girl and you charge him with kiddie porn? That’s brutal, babe.”

To Emily’s surprise, Rafael actually laughed.


	12. Chapter 12

_I can’t make it. The squad did something stupid and I have to clean up their mess._

_You hate sports anyways. Stop by for a drink if you get out early._

_I’m working late again. I’m so sorry. I can’t make it._

_Thank fucking god. I’m still in CT. Rain check?_

_I’m just leaving the office now. You still up?_

_I haven’t even left site yet. Emergency with the plumbing. Night cap?_

It went on like this for a few months and rather than make either of them mad, it just seemed to become their routine, working around hectic schedules. When there was lulls in his trials, she would start a new project. When she would be finishing up one, he would just be starting a new case. 

But in the rare moments they could find, they learned to be flexible, to make time even if it wasn’t the most opportune moment.

* * *

“Tia,” Elaine called from the living room. “How do I get to Netflix?”

“If you will wait two minutes, I’ll turn on your show for you!” Emily called back. She was trying to heat up Matty’s bottle as the toddler sat next to her kitchen island, pulling out her cookbooks one by one and dumping them onto the floor. Whenever she clicked her tongue at him, he looked up at him with innocent brown eyes and she sighed. She heard Elaine yell again and she called back once more, “Two minutes!”

As soon as she had twisted the top on the bottle, the doorbell rang. Grumbling, she pulled Matty away from his pile of destruction and put him on her hip. He took her bottle from her and was thankfully silent as she moved to the door. His sister on the other hand was standing in the doorway of the living room to the hall, remote in hand. 

“Movie, Emmy!”

“Patience is a virtue, Elaine,” Emily told her niece as she opened the door. 

“Dear lord,” Rafael said when he saw her. “Did your house become a daycare?”

Emily was shocked and then horrified. In the rush to keep her brother’s kids from having total meltdowns once their mother left, she’d completely forgotten to text Rafael that she wouldn’t be able to make their date tonight. It must have been more than an hour past the time she was supposed to meet him. 

“I am so sorry!” she told him, her face turning red from embarrassment as she opened the door wider to let him in. He seemed hesitant as he eyed her and Matheus. “I forgot to text you. Claudia had a date so she couldn’t watch the kids tonight and Aaron has work and Ines has class--”

Rafael stared at her blankly in her ramblings, looking from her to the toddler in her arms who was staring back up at Rafael with an equally blank expression as Matty vigorously sucked down his milk. 

“We should probably just reschedule,” she said finally with a sigh. 

His eyes met hers and his mouth opened to respond, but Elaine beat him to it. 

“It’s been more than two minutes!” Elaine whined, stomping her small foot on the floor behind the couple. “Tia! Come on!”

Sighing, Emily shut the door behind Rafael and walked past her niece into the living room. “Demanding little…” Emily grumbled as she took the remote her niece was waving at her.

“Are you going to watch us, too?” Emily heard Elaine ask. She kept her focus on the screen of her television, trying to adjust the kid settings on her Netflix account. 

She didn’t want to turn around and face Rafael right now. She knew he wasn’t exactly a big fan of children. He’d been okay with them at Thanksgiving and he’d never said anything to confirm her suspicion, but he didn’t have to. He always looked at children with a certain level of passivity and discomfort. It was one of the last remaining reservations Emily had about their relationship so far. 

“Tia hasn’t fed us yet,” Elaine confided secretively to Rafael, but the four-year-old hadn’t yet mastered her whispering abilities. 

“Liar! I fed Matheus!” Emily insisted as she finally got to the right menu. She turned back around and handed Emily the remote. “I’m going to make your dinner now. Remember the rule?”

Elaine looked downcast, “No Batman.”

“It’ll give you nightmares again. Your papai said so.” With a last warning look, she looked back up at Rafael who surprisingly looked amused. Looking away, she scooted past him to head towards the kitchen. “I’m sorry, Raf,” she said again, switching the squirming Matheus to her other hip. Suddenly he chucked his bottle on the ground and began squalling at her in his own language. “Please don’t be mad.”

She was going to attempt to kiss him on the cheek but when she got too close, Matheus flung his fists up and tried to swing at Rafael. With a sigh, she smiled weakly at Rafael. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” She headed into the kitchen, expecting to hear the door open and close from the hall as she attempted to pull out a pot for Elaine’s pasta. Instead, Rafael’s hand cut her off and shooed her out of the way. 

“I think you’ve got your hands full. Let me,” he insisted as she stood up, looking at him with surprise. He pulled out the pot and filled it with water. When it was on the stove and heating, he pulled off his jacket and tossed it over a kitchen chair. He rolled up his sleeves as he began to pull food out from her shelves. 

“Rafi,” she sighed, setting Matheus down on the floor. He instantly went back to her cookbooks. “You don’t have to--”

“I know,” he cut her off. He pulled a wine glass out from her cabinet and found a bottle of open red. Pouring her a glass, he set it down on the counter and smiled at her. “I want to.”

Taking a heavy seat on the barstool, she smiled at him gratefully and took a sip. Rafael leaned down to kiss her on the cheek before pulling back and nodding behind her. “I think you have a future acrobat on your hands.” 

Raising an eyebrow, Emily turned and found her nephew scaling the bookshelves on the side of her island. “Matheus! No!” Quickly jumping up from her seat just in time, she quickly pulled him off as he was about to crawl onto the top of the counter.

* * *

By the time the credits were rolling across the screen from the second kid’s movie they’d watched, the four of them were a pile of entangled limbs on Emily’s couch. Rafael was partially outstretched on one side, one foot on the ground, one leg up on the couch. His head rested against the arm as Matheus slept peacefully on his chest, drooling on his loosened tie. Emily had her feet resting on his leg. Elaine was tucked between the two of them, her small head resting in Emily’s lap as she snored quietly. 

Rafael glanced over, half certain that Emily was asleep as well, but instead he found her blue eyes watching him. He met her gaze and smiled fondly as he watched her gently stroke her fingers through the hair of her sleeping niece. Her face was unreadable as she propped her head up on her fist, surveying him. 

“They like you,” Emily said finally, sounding mildly surprised as she glanced down at her niece and her nephew. “I thought you didn’t like kids.”

Rafael chuckled quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping toddler. “I don’t dislike them,” he replied carefully. “They’re just an enigma.”

“An enigma?” The look on Emily’s face was one of amusement mixed with uncertainty and Rafael half shrugged. 

“I don’t know what to do with them,” he admitted. “I was an only child. The only cousins I had I saw once every few years, if that.”

“You never wanted kids of your own?”

There was a ball of anxiety welling up in the pit of his stomach as he broke eye contact. He was half worried that she would be able to hear his thoughts. It seemed to be a talent of hers to always know exactly what was on his mind. “I’ve thought about it. My mother has _definitely_ thought about it,” he admitted. “But it’s never been the right time or with the right person.” He paused as Matheus shifted uneasily on his chest. Rafael gently rubbed the small child’s back as he continued, voice quiet, “The more years that go by, the less likely it seems.”

The reality was that the hope of having a family had always seemed like a faraway goal. No partner ever stuck around long enough. His job always came first. Now, at forty-four he had pretty much given up hope of settling down years ago. It was nights like this, however, when he watched Emily patiently (and not so patiently) herd her niece and nephew that he had to wonder. He looked up at her once more, green eyes meeting blue. What would their children be like? Would they have her eyes? His stubbornness? The one question that stuck out most in his mind, though, was would she ever even consider having children with him?

“Do you want kids?” he asked. 

“Yes,” she said, and he knew he shouldn’t have been surprised by how quickly her answer came out. “Of course. When is another question entirely,” she admitted, sighing. 

Before he could respond, the door opened in the hallway and he heard Claudia’s voice. 

“Sorry! I tried to rush, but the--Oh, hello,” Claudia stopped herself as she came into the living room and saw not just Emily, but Rafael as well. 

“It’s fine,” Emily insisted, pulling Elaine off her lap and standing up. “How did your date go?”

The two women talked as they got the sleeping children into the stroller. Rafael gently buckled in Matheus and tucked in his blanket before saying goodbye to Claudia. Leaving the two women alone, he wandered into the kitchen for a nightcap, listening to the hushed voices from the hall. The door shut again and Emily appeared as he sat, sipping on a glass of bourbon from her cupboard. 

“I owe you,” Emily said with a sigh. She put her arms around his neck and peppered his face with kisses, making him cringe. 

“No, you don’t,” Rafael insisted, waving her away with a small laugh. “Just let me take you to dinner on Friday?”

“Deal,” Emily agreed. 

Finishing off the rest of his drink, he moved her out of the way so he could grab his coat. Before he could put it on, he felt her hand on his arm. When he turned to look at her, he saw her blue eyes were pleading and her lips were pouting slightly. Groaning, he already knew whatever she asked, he would give in. 

“Don’t go,” she said quietly, moving her arms around his chest and pressing herself to him. “Please, stay.”

“I shouldn’t,” he tried to insist. 

“But you want to,” she retorted, smiling up at him sweetly. 

Sighing, he put his coat back down and pulled her closer for the first proper kiss they’d had all night.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW - Smut ahead.  
> Trigger Warnings: Mentions of gun violence, shooting, blood.

“Has he called you yet?”

Emily groaned and did her best not to glare at her sister, but it was difficult. Instead, she kept her head laid back against the lounge chair, her eyes hidden by her sunglasses as they sat beside the pool at their hotel. It was their annual birthday trip they took every early May, both of their birthdays falling in the same two-week period. 

This year they had chosen South Carolina for their getaway. While the first few days of taking in the sites and getting sunburned at the beach had been distracting, she still couldn’t help but be a little homesick. Or maybe she was just missing Rafael, but she didn’t let herself dwell on that thought too long. 

“He’s in the middle of a trial, cut him some slack,” she grumbled.

“Did you even tell him it was your birthday?”

“Yes,” she answered, her voice clipped. But the honest answer was no, she hadn’t. 

A month ago, she had briefly gotten up her hopes that he may join them, but it was only a quick flight of fancy. Before she could even finish getting the words out of her mouth, he had stopped her with a quick and resounding _no way in hell_. The week before she had left for the trip, he had been so deep in trial prep, that he had barely even had time to give her a quick kiss goodbye let alone realize it was her birthday and she wasn’t about to remind him.

“We’ve both been distracted. It’s been a busy time for us both. I’m sure he—”

“Miss Reinhart?”

Glancing up, Emily pushed her sunglasses up her forehead and blinked at the hotel employee that stood above her holding a package.

“Yes?” She glanced from him to the box to her sister with narrowed eyes. 

“This just arrived for you.” He handed her the box and then walked away without another word. 

“What is it?” she asked her sister who just shrugged and went back to her magazine. 

“Don’t ask me. My present for you is still up in the hotel room.”

She fought with the tape, grumbling under her breath that they should have brought her a letter opener as well, before she finally was able to get it open. When she dropped the contents into her lap, Kristen peeked over her magazine and looked confused. 

“Is that Jane Austen?”

“Yeah, _Pride and Prejudice_ ,” Emily answered, her voice confused. There was a card stuck in the middle of the book and when she opened it, she saw there was a section underlined in blue ink that read _“You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled.”_ Chuckling, she knew then who it was from.

Opening the card and seeing his handwriting only confirmed it. 

_Mi Vida,_

_I’m sorry I can’t be with you to celebrate, but I promise I’ll make it up to you when you get home. Relax and enjoy this time with your sister._

_I love you and happy birthday._

“Okay, so maybe he’s not a total dud,” Kristen was saying as she took the card from Emily to read herself. Emily was smiling as she flipped through the book once more, looking for more underlined passages, but she startled herself as something fell into her lap. 

A delicate gold chain landed in her lap with a flat, gold pendant hanging from it. Picking it up to examine closely, she saw it had a simple engraving. 

_Mi Vida._

There was a warm, bubbly feeling in her stomach as she smiled at the necklace. Her phone began to ring and her heart jump, wondering if it was Rafi calling to make sure she got her gift, but it sank again when she realized it was just Nate. 

Sighing, she answered it anyways. 

“You’d better be calling to wish me happy birthday and not—” She stopped as soon as she heard the concern in his voice and she sat up straight in her lounge chair. “What do you mean there was a shooting?”

* * *

It wasn’t until he was in the Uber on his way home that he realized he had ten missed calls, thirty missed text messages, and five voicemails. 

He sighed, skimming through the texts. He reassured his mother that, yes, he was fine. He thanked Olivia for letting him know Amaro’s condition and told her to keep him updated. 

Glancing down at the sleeve of his shirt, he realized the red stain from earlier had faded to a dark brown. Grimacing, he pushed the shirt sleeve up underneath the sleeve of the spare jacket he kept behind his desk and pressed play on the first voicemail. 

“Rafael Barba,” Emily said through the phone. Rafael could tell by the tone of her voice that she was close to tears and sheer panic. “You better call me right now and tell me you are okay or so help me I am getting on the next flight.”

The next voicemail was less promising. “Why aren’t you answering? That’s it. I’m heading to the airport now.”

His heart sank and he quickly pressed her name from his speed dial. The longer it rang, the more concerned he became. He should have known that she would find out about the shooting even on her trip. Damn Nate and his stupid Google Alerts. 

“Em, it’s me. I’m fine. Please, don’t worry or freak out. I’m headed home now, call me when you get this.” He paused for a moment before finishing, “I love you. Call me back.”

As soon as he walked through the door of his apartment, Rafael tossed his jacket on a chair and stripped off the bloody shirt and vest. He tossed them onto the chair as well, eying them as he poured a glass of scotch. It seemed like such a waste and wondered if his dry cleaner could get the stains out. A second later, however, the mental image of the judge on a stretcher and the court officer on the ground, a bullet in her head, made up his mind up for him. They’d have to go. 

The buzzer pulled him from his thoughts, and he avoided looking at the blood-stained clothes as he walked to the intercom. 

“Yes?”

“It’s me,” was all she needed to say, and he quickly buzzed her in. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he unlocked the door. Going back to his counter, he took a heavy seat on the bar stool and tried to focus on his drink. 

Emily didn’t even bother to knock or lock the door behind her. Rafael listened to it slam as he took a long drink. When he finally looked up to see her walking towards him, his heart ached. There were tear stains running down her cheeks and still unshed tears making her blue eyes look even brighter than usual. 

“Em--” he sighed as he turned toward her on the bar stool, but he didn’t get a chance to speak as she threw her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder. “I’m fine, mi vida,” he soothed softly, as he set his glass down to hug her. “I’m okay, I promise. You should have finished your trip.”

Pulling away from him, Emily looked down at his face. Her hands touched his cheeks and moved down to examine his arms and chest, judging for herself that he was in fact okay. Rafael moved his hands up to her face, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. 

“Are you serious? How could I finish my trip when I didn’t know—I didn’t know if--Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” she ordered. As fierce as she attempted her words to be, she couldn’t hold back a small hiccup and Rafael could feel her hands shaking as she set them on his shoulders. 

Standing up, he pulled her tightly to him and rested his forehead against hers. 

“No promises,” he said quietly. When she opened her mouth to argue, he silenced her with a kiss. He could taste the salt from her tears, and it made his stomach sink, but he coaxed her mouth open with his tongue and sank deeper into her. He wasn’t certain who he was trying to distract more, Emily from her worries or himself from the memories of that afternoon. 

His tongue fought with hers as he pushed her back against the counter. His hands moved slowly underneath her shirt, his palms moving over her skin until they reached her bra. Pulling away from her, he roughly pulled her shirt up, forcing her arms over her head so he could pull it off. 

Emily glared at him as he moved his hands around her back to unhook her bra. “If you think this is going to--” She stopped short and let out a small gasp as he took one of her nipples into his mouth. Rafael sucked on it lightly at first before he gently teased her with his teeth, eliciting a hiss of pleasure from her. He switched breasts, pulling the other nipple into his mouth as Emily’s hands moved to his hair. 

“You were saying?” Rafael said, trying not to smile at her as he moved down to kneel in front of her. 

“You’re not going to distract me forever, Rafael,” she warned him, but her face said otherwise. She watched him remove her shoes and he plainly saw the look of want in her eyes. 

“That sounds like a challenge.”

His hands skimmed up the sides of jean clad thighs as he stood back up. Moving behind her, he squeezed her ass with both hands, pulling her forward until their hips connected. By the way she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, Rafael knew she could feel his growing bulge. He kissed her again, pulling her lip out from between her teeth with his own and biting down gently until he heard her sigh. 

As his hands moved to undo her jeans, he heard her breath hitch again and it only encouraged him on. His hand slipped down the front of her jeans and panties. When he slipped his fingers inside her, she broke her lips away from his to let out a whimper. He pumped his fingers in and out of her as the palm of his hand pressed down hard against her clit. He could feel her shaking against him, but he didn’t let up. Instead, he put his other arm back around her to keep her steady. 

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he said into her ear before he trailed soft kisses down her neck. 

“You better be,” she hissed. Her hand took his wrist, forcing his hand out of her pants. Rafael immediately pulled his head up to look at her, concerned he’d pushed her too far. Instead, he found Emily pushing her pants and underwear down over her hips. His breath hitched his throat as he watched her hoist herself up onto the counter and hold out her legs to him. 

“Here? Are you sure?” he asked, as he pulled her pants off her ankles. As if to answer his question, Emily took a hold of his belt to pull him between her legs. She kissed him hard as her fingers deftly undid his belt and the zipper of his pants. 

“You started it,” she accused, pushing his pants down his hips. “Now finish it.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. He moved one arm around the small of her back to pull her close to the edge. With his other hand, he guided himself to her entrance and pushed into her with a hard thrust. He felt her legs move up to circle his waist and he watched, mesmerized as her head tipped back, a moan escaping her lips. She had her hands planted firmly on the stone behind her to keep herself steady. 

Rafael reached up his hand and traced his fingers down her body from neck to stomach. The faster he moved into her, the louder her cries became, urging him even closer to the brink. His own eyes were glazing over with pleasure and he could feel his stomach clench as he got closer. 

Moving his hand back up, he moved his fingers through her hair to the base of her skull and dragged her mouth back to his. Her hands left the counter to grasp onto his shoulder. Her fingernails cut into his skin, but he muffled a moan into her lips. It was getting harder to breath, especially as her fingernails scraped their way down his back. Her hands took hold of his ass, encouraging him as her hips bucked up to meet his. 

When he finally exploded deep inside of her, he clenched his eyes shut and tipped his head back. Her name left his mouth as he cried out. He continued to thrust into her for a second longer until he nearly collapsed, spent. His palms held himself up as they pressed into counter. His head dropped to her shoulder as he tried to regain his breath. When he finally came back to his senses, he felt her hands clutching at his back and he could feel her shaking against him. 

Pulling his head up, he looked into her face. Her mouth was slightly open as she attempted to catch her breath, but she smiled at him slightly as his eyes met hers. Not able to speak, Rafael reached his hand up and held her face in his palm, tracing her lips with his thumb. 

“I don’t think I could live without you,” Emily suddenly admitted. The look in her eyes scared Rafael slightly as he pulled out of her and pulled his pants back up. 

“Yes, you could,” Rafael reassured her. “You made it this far without me.” Before she could argue, Rafael placed an arm under her knees and hauled her up into his arms. “But I’m here now,” Rafael said quietly as he carried her to his bedroom. “So, you don’t need to worry.”

Later that night as Emily slept soundly, her body strewn across his and her cheek against his chest, Rafael found himself wide awake. He stroked her hair and looked down at her finally calm face. The memory of her anguished expression when she’d first seen him that night wouldn’t leave his mind.


	14. Chapter 14

It had been two days since he’d shaved. The stubble on his face was starting to itch and whenever he caught a glimpse of his reflection, he cringed. If it weren’t for his suit, he would have been able to pass for a homeless man, he thought as he walked back to the train from work. He rubbed the side of his face absently, letting out a long sigh when he saw the headline from a newsstand. “Monster in the Morgue.”

His stomach churned for what felt like the hundredth time that week and he ducked his head as he walked down the stairs into the station. He hadn’t been able to eat for days and had been surviving off of coffee and scotch. It made him sick when his mind thought back to all the conversations he’d had with Rudnick. 

“The thought that a man could do that to a woman and possibly get away with it,” he had said to Rafael once. When Rafael thought of all those women, his heart ached. They’d trusted Rudnick. He’d deceived them. He’d deceived everyone. As he took a seat on the train and let out a long breath, he wondered what actually made sense anymore. 

Glancing down at his phone, he realized he had another text from Emily, just checking in. His heart ached again. It had been three days since he’d written her back. They’d planned a date for tonight which he’d forgotten in the drama of the past week. The fact that she still even bothered to write surprised him. He didn’t respond immediately and instead stared sullenly out the window of the train, wondering for what wasn’t the first time this past month what Emily saw in him. 

The doubts had begun in May after the Johnny D. trial, but now the nagging wouldn’t leave his mind alone. He already knew she worried about him while he was at work. He couldn’t even make time for her. Now, if Rudnick went to trial and was convicted, he might be out of a job, every conviction he’d ever made with him as an M.E. up for an appeal. She’d be stuck with an out of work, middle aged attorney. 

Rafael shook his head to clear it. Texting her back quickly to confirm they were still on for tonight, he’d made up his mind.

* * *

She knew there was something wrong when he hugged her. She had entered his apartment, a bright smile on her face. She’d spent most of the day waiting to be able to see him. It had been a week since they’d been able to have some time together. Emily felt giddy as she wrapped her arms around him and embraced him tightly. His arms pulled her close, but he did not hold her as tight as he usually did. He simply held her limply and pressed his face into her shoulder. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, concern instantly rising up in her stomach and making her feel sick. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” he responded, pulling away from her. He turned his back towards her and went to take a seat on his couch. He picked his drink back up and asked, “How was your day?”

“Fine,” she responded as she set down her purse and took a seat next to him. She faced him as he set his forearms on his knees and stared into his drink. “How was yours?”

“Fine,” he said simply, taking another sip of his drink. They sat in silence for a few long moments, Emily becoming more and more concerned. She’d never seen him like this. Even after his grandmother had died. He’d been upset, but he had never been so withdrawn. She carefully examined his face, noticing he had more than just a five o’clock shadow growing and there were deep bags under his eyes. He refused to meet her eyes, but she could see they were dark.

“Rafael, please tell me--”

“I think we should stop seeing each other.”

For a few seconds, Emily thought she was hearing things. She stared at him, but he still refused to meet her gaze. 

“That’s not funny, Rafi,” she said quietly, hoping he was joking. “Why would you say that?”

“I’m not laughing,” he snapped. “And I’m saying it because it’s the truth. We should break up.”

“Why? Where is this coming from?”

“Because it would be for the best,” he said simply. She reached out to touch his arm, but he downed the rest of his drink and stood up. He walked over to the counter and poured himself another glass from the open bottle. 

Emily swallowed. Her stomach was in knots and she suddenly was worried that she might throw up. “I don’t understand,” she said, her voice cracking. She couldn’t even bother to hold back the tears pooling in her eyes. “Was it something I did?”

“No,” he said flatly. 

“Then is there someone else?” she asked, at a loss for what other reason there might be. 

“No, of course not.” For the first time since she’d entered the apartment, the tenderness that she was used to came to his voice. She looked up at him and caught his gaze for a moment. His eyes were sad and anguished, but he quickly turned away and withdrew once more. “This just isn’t going to work out.”

“That’s it then?” Emily asked, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. She wanted so badly to beg, to plead with him. She wanted to understand, but her pride wouldn’t let her and staring up at him as he stood half turned from her, she knew there was no point arguing with him. “I thought you loved me,” she said breathless. 

Besides the sound of his glass hitting the counter, they were silent. She watched him carefully, not bothering to wipe the tears that fell down her face. 

“I do love you,” he said finally. He said the words slowly as he stared pointedly at the counter top instead of at her. “I just can’t be with you.”

Her heart was pounding so loud that Emily was certain that he could hear it. She sat still for another minute, hoping that at any second he would admit to playing a prank on her. When it finally sunk in, she took a deep breath and stood up. She wiped the tears from her eyes but quickly realized it was pointless as they just kept coming. 

“Okay,” she said softly, leaning down to pick up her purse. 

That seemed to shock Rafael. He looked up at her, eyes narrowing slightly. “Okay?”

“I’m not going to fight with you, Rafael,” she told him as she swung her bag back over her shoulder and straightened her shirt, awkwardly. “If this is what you want, I have to respect that.”

“Emily--” 

She glanced up long enough to see the look of pain on her face and the tears in his eyes. It made her swallow a sob as she ducked her head. “Goodbye, Rafael,” she croaked before fleeing to the door.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Mentions of sexual harassment, assault

“I don’t know why we’re here,” Rollins complained, placing her hand on her lower back. She glared at Rafael pointedly over her tea and muttered, “And I especially don’t know why you’re here.”

Rafael shrugged and sipped his coffee, eying the other conference goers who’d arrived early for coffee with only mildly curious gaze. “I wanted the day off,” he said plainly. 

“We’re here to support Detective Taymor,” Olivia cut in, sighing. Rafael glanced up at her, trying his best not to smirk. Stuck with the two detectives all day -- one heavily pregnant and the other a mother of a toddler who, guessing by the bags under her eyes, hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep last night -- he was predicting it was going to be a long day. 

“I’m surprised she’s ready to share her story,” Rollins commented. “Especially at something so public like this.”

“She won’t be alone,” Olivia commented, glancing around the room. “There’s a lot of women from different fields sharing their experiences with sexual harassment and assault in the workplace .”

As the two women continued to talk, Rafael lost focus as his eyes caught sight of a group of people walking into the hall. His heart started to pound as he recognized her immediately. Emily looked as beautiful as ever. Her long brown hair was pulled to the side. She was wearing his favorite dress: a pink lace over a nude sheath that fell to her knees and sleeves that went to her elbows. He felt slightly breathless as she passed within a few feet of him. If she saw him, she pretended not to and instead kept her eyes on the woman who walked next to her. Liz, Rafael thought it was, but he’d never met that project manager before. 

Nate, however, walking a few steps behind Emily with the rest of her entourage, grinned at Rafael as he walked past. Glancing at his boss to make sure she didn’t see, Nate turned back to Rafael and gave a mock salute. With a small smirk, Rafael nodded back at the man. 

“Friend of yours?” 

When he turned back to Benson and Rollins, he found them looking between him and the retreating group curiously. He shrugged and finished his coffee. “Just an old acquaintance. More coffee anyone?”

By the time the last speaker of the day was due on stage, Rafael realized he’d spent the majority of the day watching Emily out of the corner of his eye than he had actually paid attention to the presentations. She sat at a table at the front of the room, her back to him, presumably watching the speakers with rapt attention. It made him feel slightly guilty. He knew this was an issue close to her heart, but this was the first time in two months he had laid eyes on her or been in the same room. 

The last thing he expected was for the presenter to stand up and announce, “For our final presenter, we are honored to welcome to the stage Emily Reinhardt, President and CEO of Reinhardt Construction and Restoration, Inc. Five years ago, the New York Post declared her the ‘most hated woman in construction’ after she won a sexual discrimination and harassment lawsuit against one of the cities largest construction firms. Today, at the age of thirty-three, she is now the proud owner of one of the city's newest and fastest growing construction companies. Please help me in welcoming her to the stage.”

Rafael was slack jawed. It took Benson elbowing him for him to begin applauding as he watched Emily shake the presenter’s hand and take the microphone from her. When the applause stopped, Rafael let his hands fall into his lap and he stared, mesmerized. 

“Thank you all for allowing me to talk to you today,” Emily began, smiling nervously at the crowd. “What Camilla won’t tell you is I’m actually still the most hated woman in construction.” There were chuckles from the crowd and Rafael heard Nate snort. 

“Let me just start off by giving you some statistics,” Emily said, clearing her throat and glancing down at the podium. “In 2014,” she quoted. “The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported 9,813,000 people working in the construction industry. Of these, 872,000 of them, or 8.9 percent, were women.” After a brief pause, Emily took the microphone and stepped out from behind the podium and looked up at the crowd. 

“The women in the room all know what it’s like facing the daily micro-aggressions in the workplace. We’ve talked about some of those today. Being talked over, the pet names, the come ons, being forced to do ‘women’s work.’ We all know what it’s like to have to sit at a meeting, share an idea, have it be shot down, but watch ten minutes later as a male colleague is praised for the same idea.” There was laughter at that. “Now how many of you have been the only woman at a table of let’s say ten men?” Emily waited and about half the room raised their hands, herself included. “Now how many of you have been the only woman on a job site with fifty men?” 

By now, the laughter had stopped and the only hands up were Emily’s and the women from her own table. Lowering her hand, Emily shook her head slowly and looked back up at the crowd. “When I was twenty-four years old, I graduated with a master’s in Historic Preservation. My first job was managing building maintenance for house museums around the city. Non-profit, not good for a girl with student loan debt,” she joked and the mood lightened once more. “After a year of getting my feet wet working from the sidelines with contractors and buildings, a job came up with Tulane Construction. It was for an assistant project manager position. The pay was better than non-profit work and I figured, I’m a tough woman. I can handle it, right?”

Rafael glanced around and saw some women shaking their heads. Emily nodded at them. “Yeah, I should have known better. The harassment wasn’t blatant at first. Just slights,” she said, making a gesture with her hands. “Comments about my appearance, questions about my personal life, you know the drill. Pretty soon it evolved into clients and outside contractors asking to talk to my male counterparts, my supervisors passing me over for assignments, the usual.” Once again, Rafael heard the reaction from the audience. He could sense where her story was going and he felt slightly sick. 

“When I first reported the issue to my manager, he said that I was being emotional and maybe I was imagining things,” Emily said with a small laugh. “He called it a communication issue on my part.”

It was until Rafael felt his fingernails digging into his palms that he realized his hands had balled into fists. He tried to loosen them, but they continued to clench as she went on. “We had just begun working on a large project. The restoration of the Gilroy Hotel. My bosses didn’t want to let a case of sexism get in the way of the project’s success. Or so I figured since they would never call it that. Even when I informed them one crew member -- we’ll call him Tom -- was being ‘too friendly,’ they still asked if I’d done anything to encourage it. I was told to be polite and not make waves.

“After a year of working for them, I’d reported instances of sexism and harassment a total of five times to my manager. All in writing. Not only was nothing done, but it escalated,” Emily said with a sigh. Rafael’s throat was tight. His arms ached to reach out and hold her. He couldn’t tell if he was more angry at what she’d gone through or sad for her. 

“One morning I arrived at work to find that the demo crew had discovered the mosaic floor beneath the linoleum in the lobby. If anyone’s visited you know the one.” Once again, Rafael saw several nods from the audience. He himself could picture in his mind. “Being the acting project manager on site, I called the owner and informed them of the discovery. They instructed me to save it. The male crew, however, did not wish to keep it. Tom, the ‘overly friendly’ crew member, looked me in the face and said that ‘my only job was to stand around and look pretty, not actually make decisions.’ He then grabbed my arm and tried to pull me out of the building. So of course, I did the only reasonable thing I could do. I sat down on that floor.”

Even Emily herself laughed this time at the absurdity of her story. “I wish I was kidding but at the time, I knew it was the only thing I could do. I sat down on that damn floor and called the owners. I waited there as people I had worked with for months pulled my shoes off, ripped at my clothes and my hair, spat on me, kicked me. Men who had complained to me about their wives and told me about their daughters stood over me for an hour and told me how worthless I was.” She went quiet for a moment and took a sip of water. “The owners finally showed up and it was like nothing happened. I got my letter of termination that afternoon. But the Gilroy has one hell of a lobby floor.” There was no laughter this time. 

“The number one question I get after telling that story is why didn’t I call the police.” 

“Damn straight,” Rollins hissed under her breath. 

“After a year of having been told that what had happened to me was my fault, that I was the one who was the problem? After a year of having asked for help and having had to look out for myself on a site with a hundred men? No, I wasn’t going to call the police.” She was quiet for a second as her eyes scanned the crowd. “The next morning after I was fired, though, I did the next best thing. I filed a complaint with the Equal Opportunity Commission and you best bet as soon as I got my notice of right to sue I hired the best discrimination attorney in the city.”

Rafael couldn’t help but laugh and he wasn’t the only one. Most of the crowd was applauding and even Rollins let out a loud whoop of “hell yeah!” much to Benson’s shagrin. 

Once the crowd settled down, Emily let out a sigh and continued. “They didn’t go down without a fight, though,” and the crowd groaned. “As soon as I filed suit, the threats started coming in. They said they’d find me, rape me. My own bosses cornered me one day when I was on the street. They told me I’d never work in construction again.” 

Emily looked down briefly to compose herself before looking back up. “Their lawyers came to me before the trial with a settlement offer -- not a small amount of money, but I’d have to keep my mouth shut, obviously -- saying that if I decided to take them to court, no jury would ever believe me. That by simply even going into construction as a woman meant that I’d been asking for it.”

Rafael growled under his breath, but he wasn’t the only one. He could hear both Rollins and Benson grumblings beside him. 

“It took the jury less than five hours to award me fifteen million in damages.”

The applause was in earnest this time. Benson let out a low whistle and he could hear Rollins whisper “holy shit.” 

“Five years later, I -- the woman who supposedly would never work in construction again -- now own a major firm that has over a hundred employees and we’re still growing.” Rafael sighed to himself, looking up at her with more pride than he’d ever felt for another human being. “I’m extremely proud to say that over fifty percent of our staff are female.” 

She paused before she took a breath and said calmly, “At an event last year I actually ran into one of my old bosses from Tulane.” Rafael’s heart stopped for a moment, remembering the encounter very vividly. He could still remember the intense look on her face when the two had confronted each other at the table that night. “He confirmed to me that I still am in some circles indeed the most hated woman in construction. However, if being the most hated woman in construction means standing up against an abusive and corrupt system to make a change,” she paused and smiled at the crowd. “Then hate me. Thank you.”

* * *

“I think I swore too much,” Emily mumbled to Liz as she took the glass of whiskey that Nate handed to her. 

Liz snorted into her beer. “It wasn’t nearly as bad as the speech you gave at the NAWIC conference last year.”

Emily glared at her, remembering that speech. “That was all construction workers. We should be used to it.”

“Yeah,” Liz countered. “But the president did send you the code of professionalism right after, did she not?”

Rolling her eyes, Emily was about to respond when she was interrupted by a heavily pregnant blonde woman walking up to their group. 

“Excuse me,” the woman said politely. “I just wanted to say, I really enjoyed your speech.”

“Thank you,” Emily said, smiling at the woman and holding out her hand. 

“Amanda Rollins,” the woman introduced herself. Emily narrowed her eyes for half a second, trying to place the name, but was distracted as the woman continued. “It’s refreshing to hear someone talk so honestly about the boy’s club for once. It was really brave what you did and getting up there and speaking about it.”

“Are you in construction?” Liz asked. 

“No, law enforcement,” Amanda explained with a shrug. “My boss and I were actually just discussing the similarities. Oh, there she is, Sarge!”

Nate and Liz wandered off to find more drinks as Emily soon found herself shaking the hand of a tall, attractive, middle aged woman. “Emily Reinhardt,” she introduced herself with a small smile. 

“Yes,” the woman said, her brown eyes kind. “Rollins -- Amanda -- and I were just discussing your speech. I’m Olivia Benson.”

Suddenly it hit her and Emily was a bit thunderstruck for a moment. Amanda Rollins. Olivia Benson. She knew those names because these were two of the people she’d heard Rafael talk about at great length. She’d recognized them from photos she’d seen in the news. She blinked at them for a moment before remembering herself and smiling once more. They talked for several minutes about her speech and they asked her questions. Mostly about her job and experience. She made small talk with them as well, asking them about their interest in the conference. She slipped a bit when they mentioned supporting a fellow officer who was speaking. 

“It was really brave of Detective Taymor to speak publicly so soon after her trial,” she said with a slight nod as she took a sip of bourbon. “I’m still disappointed Ra--the D.A. gave the bastard a heart attack on the stand.”

Emily had hoped her slip would go unnoticed. Olivia had been looking at her phone, but Amanda was looking at her with a look of confusion. 

“You kept up with that trial?” she asked, curiously. 

“One of my supers likes to think he’s Nancy Grace,” she joked and Amanda laughed. 

“You two wanna share a cab or--” 

She could hear him as he approached her from behind, pointing his question at the detectives, but when Emily turned, Rafael suddenly went quiet. He caught sight of her face and his own went blank. Her heart stopped as her eyes met his own, green and expressionless. 

“Mr. Barba,” she said quietly. 

It took him a moment to compose himself as he took a final step towards the group. “Miss Reinhardt,” he said finally. 

“Wait,” Amanda said, looking between them with confusion. “You two know each other?”

Emily could feel Rafael’s eyes on her as she took a calm sip of whiskey. It did not surprise her in the slightest that he’d never told them about her. It was typical. Work first. Heaven forbid he actually appear to have a life, she thought to herself as she answered before he could, “We have mutual friends. How’s your mother?”

“She’s good,” he answered briskly. “Working too much as usual.”

“Like mother, like son,” she said sarcastically, raising her glass to him. 

He stared at her for a moment longer than was appropriate. She glanced away to respond to a question from Benson and when she glanced back she realized that he’d caught sight of her necklace. Mi Vida. He stared at it a moment longer before looking up into her eyes. His expression was no longer unreadable. The question in his eyes was obvious, but Emily wasn’t sure that she could answer it. Not here. 

“I should find my companions. It was nice meeting you, detectives,” she said, shaking their hands in goodbye. She turned to Rafael and nodded, refusing to touch him. It hurt enough just being this close. “Mr. Barba.”

“Miss Reinhardt,” she heard him say quietly as she hurried away to find Liz and Nate.

* * *

His eyes followed her as she walked away, tracing the outline of her body, memorizing it. He wasn’t sure when he would see her again. If this was going to be it, he was going to burn it into his mind. Of course, he could count on Rollins to ruin the moment. 

“Jesus, Barba,” she said with a snort. “Could you be more obvious?”

“Excuse me?” he asked, glowering at her. He placed a hand on his hip and raised an eyebrow as he turned back to face the women. They were both giving him equally skeptical expressions. “What?”

“You were blatantly just checking her out,” Rollins accused. “You two have history?”

Rafael scoffed, rolling his eyes. “And you can deduce that from a thirty second conversation how?”

“She is pretty, Barba,” Olivia chimed in, looking at Emily over Rafael’s shoulder. “And successful. You could do worse.”

“That’s an understatement,” Rafael mumbled, finishing off his scotch and setting it on the closest table. 

“What are we saying?” Rollins teased, running her hands over her belly. “We’re talking to the man who considers a day off going to a workplace sexual harassment conference. There’s no way he’ll ask out the hottie contractor.”

“If you two are done prying into my love life, I’ll say goodnight.”

“You have a love life?” Olivia asked innocently, grinning at him over her wine glass. 

With a huff of annoyance, he cast them a glower before turning on his heel and leaving.


	16. Chapter 16

It was another late night at the office. She had a half drank glass of bourbon on the coffee table of her office. The window was open behind her desk letting in the sound of the nearly empty street outside the office and the TV was on in the corner. 

She’d kept it on the news for the past few days while she was in the office. Nate had insisted on it mostly, wanting to keep up with the police shooting, but Emily didn’t argue. She normally kept it on mute with the captions while people were working, but since everyone had checked out for the night, she kept it on low volume in the corner. Now, they were replaying the video that had been released earlier that evening on repeat as various reporters argued the merits. It was the perfect droning background noise as she penned through the pages of various submittals on the couch. 

There was a knock at her open office door and she didn’t even bother to look up. 

“Carmen is going to get pissed at me if you’re late,” she scolded Nate as she crossed out the color selection for the outside lighting submittal and wrote in black. “She told me she’s making beef stroganoff for dinner.”

“I definitely came to the wrong place then.”

Emily jumped, dropping the sheaf of papers she had onto the floor. Looking up, the absolute last person she expected to see in her office door was Rafael. He looked exhausted. His eyes were tired and weary. His tie was already loosened and his hair was mussed. Shaking slightly, she knelt to gather her papers and avoid looking at him. 

“Jesus,” she said quietly. “I thought you were Nate.”

“Sorry,” he said, sounding embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay.” She dropped her papers onto the coffee table and stood to face him. “How did you get in here?”

“Apparently Eddie never took me off the keypad,” he told her with a shrug. He stared at his feet. “If you want me to leave, Em, I will.”

“No, Raf,” she said with a sigh. “You’re always welcome, you know that. Come in. Want a drink?” 

She didn’t even bother waiting for him to respond. She knew he needed one, she could tell by the look on his face and the tone in his voice. She pulled out a glass and poured him it neat. It was funny, the bottle of scotch she’d kept specifically for him hadn’t been touched since the last time he’d been here two months ago. 

When she turned back around, he was sitting on the couch, watching her. She handed him the drink and took a seat a few feet away from him. Her heart pounded just having him back in this space, let alone sitting next to him.

“You’re watching this, too?”

“Huh?” She realized his eyes were on her television. “Are they making you take this?” When he nodded, she sighed. “What, is this payback for that child services stunt you pulled?”

He glanced at her sidelong as she picked up the remote and turned the TV off. “You saw that?”

“Obviously,” she said dryly. “It’s all my family or the crew talked about for a week.”

Rafael groaned and rested his head back against the couch. She was so tempted to reach out and comfort him physically. Her fingers itched to run through his hair, to massage his neck. She knew that his shoulders were probably bothering him and all she wanted was to move next to him and wrap her arm around him, let him know she was there. Instead, she picked up her glass and took a sip. “What are you going to do?”

“I have to convene a grand jury,” he told her, not opening his eyes to look at her. He didn’t sound convinced, but Emily knew better. 

“Rafael,” she said softly. “You know it’s the right thing to do.”

“Do I?” he asked, still not looking at her. “All the cops claim they followed procedure. That they felt at risk for their safety.”

“And what do you think that kid felt?”

Emily propped her elbow on the back of the couch and rested her chin on her fist, watching him as he finally opened his eyes and turned towards her. His eyes met hers. For a few moments, they just gazed at each other, green meeting blue. Emily tried to smile at him, but it ended up lopsided and Rafael’s face remained serious. 

“I was so proud when I heard you speak at the conference,” he said quietly, still holding her gaze. Emily snorted into her drink, not sure if he was trying to change the subject or just embarrass her. “You never shared the whole story with me before.”

“You never asked,” she said, shrugging. “I didn’t expect you to be at something like that.”

“Benson talked me into it.”

“Figures,” Emily snorted, turning her attention to an invisible spot on the couch cushion. She picked at it as she averted her gaze from his. “It was nice to finally meet them. Put faces to the names.” She was quiet for a moment before she asked the question that had been nagging at her brain, “You never told them about us?”

“No,” Rafael said simply, taking a sip of his drink. 

“Why not?” Emily asked, but she sighed and quickly answered the question herself. “Never mind, I know why. There’s no place for a personal life in your professional life.” 

“That’s not it, Emily,” Rafael sounded hurt, but Emily chose to ignore the tone in his voice as she continued to stare at the sofa. They fell silent for a few moments before he said quietly, “You still wear your necklace.”

Her hand moved up to her throat and she touched the gold there. She held the small gold pendant in her hand as she often felt herself doing. It was a habit, honestly. She found herself doing it a few times a day. A bit of reassurance to get her through. 

“Yes,” she responded simply, even though it wasn’t a question.

“Why?”

Emily stared at him before finishing off her bourbon and setting down the glass on the coffee table. 

“Why did you come here?” she countered.

“I asked you first.”

“And you showed up here first.”

Rafael sat up and took a large gulp of scotch. Emily waited in vain for him to say something, but after a few seconds, knew that he was too stubborn to give in. With a huff she pushed herself off the couch and moved to the bar to pour herself another drink. 

“You know why I still wear this damn necklace,” she said with her back to him. Her hands shook as she pulled the top off of the decanter. “Because as stupid as it sounds, it gives me hope.” She sniffed, embarrassed to realize that tears were welling up in her eyes. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry in front of him again. “It reminds me that I had once hoped a man had loved me, that I had once hoped we’d have a life together. I thought we did,” she said quietly as she poured whiskey into her glass. Her hands shook so badly some poured out onto the counter. “It might seem stupid to you, Rafael, but I still want to hold onto the idea that I can feel that way again.”

“It’s not stupid to me, Emily,” she heard him say. “I did love you. I wanted a life with you, too.”

Slamming her glass onto the counter, she rounded on him. Tears rolled down her cheeks as her eyes flared. “Don’t give me that shit,” she spat at him. “Why are you here, Rafael? Do you just want to rub salt into the wound? You made the choice to leave! Why don’t you just stay away?”

“Because I can’t!” he shouted back and Emily was shocked to see the tears flooding his green eyes when he looked up at her. “I thought that if I forced myself to stay away from you for long enough, it would get easier, that it would hurt less, but it hasn’t.”

“Force yourself?” Emily snapped, almost laughing. “That’s what you call it? I haven’t even heard so much as a word from you! No phone call, no texts.”

“You don’t understand--”

“And who’s fault is that?” Emily shot back. She took a swig of her drink and moved further across the room. She leaned against her desk and took another long drink before glaring at him. “You broke up with me, Rafael. Without even so much as an explanation. What did you just get bored with me?”

“You’re being ridiculous,” he said quietly, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand. 

“I’m being ridiculous?” Emily did laugh this time, she finished off her second glass quickly and set it down on the desk. Folding her arms over her chest, she looked at him defiantly. “Why are you here, Rafael?”

“I...I just wanted to…” His voice was cracking, and she could tell he was biting the inside of his cheek trying to find the words. It was strange to watch him be at a loss for words. Him of all people always had a response to everything. “You know what,” he said, finally finding his words as he stood. “This was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“Just like we were, right?” From the look on his face, Emily could tell the words stung, but her anger dulled the pain in her heart as she reached up to her neck and wrenched the chain off her throat. She kept her head high and chin tall as she marched to him. Taking his hand, she pressed the necklace into his palm and forced his fingers closed around it. “Leave, Rafael. It’s what you’re good at.”

With that, she turned her back on him and went back to her desk. She put her hands on the top and stared down at the files scattered across it for a few minutes without really seeing them. By the time her breathing had evened out and she felt brave enough to look back up towards the door, he was gone.

* * *

The warm metal still cut into his hand as his fist clenched shut around it. Finally, as he took a sip off his third glass of scotch, he opened his hand and looked at the necklace. 

Mi Vida. My life.

It had meant more than just a silly term of endearment to him when he’d had it engraved on her birthday gift. It still did. Since ending things with his last serious partner more than seven years ago, he’d given up on finding love. Even with his previous partners, he had never been convinced he’d ever settle down completely. He wasn’t that type of man, he’d always told himself as an explanation. No woman would put up with his job or his character flaws. 

And then Emily walked into his life. 

He sighed as he took another sip of scotch. He put his hand down onto the counter, letting the necklace fall as he did. 

Their argument kept playing over in his head. Her words were seared into his memory. The look of hurt and anger on her face. As much as Rafael missed her and as much as he longed to hold her close once more, to have her to confide in, a part of him still held on to knowledge that what he’d done was for the best. His heart ached at knowing he’d probably let the only woman he’d ever even wanted to spend his life with go, but it was the right thing to do. Or so he kept telling himself. 

His biggest regret was not telling her how he felt, what his real reasons were. Suddenly, an idea occurred to him and he quickly got up, searching for a pen and paper.

* * *

A courier arrived for her before she was even dressed for work. The sun hadn’t even risen yet when she opened her door and glared at the delivery man. 

“Why would I want something delivered at this hour?” she asked, incredulous. 

The poor man shrugged and held out a simple white envelope. Emily let out a noise of annoyance. “Really? That’s it? At five in the damn morning?”

“Listen, lady,” the guy snapped back. “I don’t ask questions. I just take the delivery and the cash. You want it or not?”

“It better not have anthrax,” Emily grumbled as she took the letter, tipped the man a five and shut the door. 

She tossed the envelope onto the counter of her kitchen as she finished getting ready. It wasn’t until she was watching the news over her morning coffee that she caught it out of the corner of her eye and remembered it. Her eyes glanced up to the screen as she ripped open the seal, catching a glimpse of Rafael being hounded by reporters as he made his way into the grand jury. Her heart skipped a beat at the look on his face. 

Regret ate at her stomach. She’d tossed and turned all night, replaying their conversation -- okay, argument -- over in her head. She wondered if she should have heard him out. She questioned whether she should have even let him in at all. More than anything, she wished she hadn’t given him back her necklace. It had been the last piece of him she had left. Giving it back felt like solidifying the fact that they were truly over. Just thinking about it now as she stared at him on her television made her eyes water. 

A small clink of metal on stone distracted her and she suddenly remembered the envelope she was opening. Looking down, her jaw dropped. There sitting on her counter was that damn necklace. Dropping the half-opened envelope, she picked up the necklace with careful fingers. She turned the pendant over in her fingers, reading the words and making sure it was really hers. A small, sad smile came to her lips when she confirmed it was indeed the same damn one. 

Setting the necklace back down, she practically ripped open the rest of the seal on the envelope. Besides the necklace, the only thing left was a short letter and Emily recognized the handwriting immediately. Her heart raced and she practically fell onto a barstool as she read.

_Mi Vida,_

_I know you’re going to just want to rip this up and I don’t blame you. You have more than enough reasons to hate me. But, please, Emily. Let me just take this letter to say the words I wanted to say to you since that night in June and was too weak to get out in person._

_I have never stopped loving you and god help me, I don’t think I ever will. When I ended things between us in June, it was not because I didn’t want to be with you. I want to be with you every hour of every day. The fact is, I saw the look on your face after the shooting at the courthouse. I still can’t erase the fear in your eyes from my mind. And after the Rudnick investigation, my mind went to a dark place._

_There is nothing I would not do to keep you out of harm's way, Emily. I never want to see you in pain or afraid, especially not because of me. The fact is, I’m worried that is all you could hope to expect out of a life with me. You think that I didn’t tell the people I work with about us because I’m embarrassed or obsessive. No, it’s because there are people who would use you against me. I will not let you be hurt because of my actions._

_You are an incredible woman, Emily Reinhardt. You deserve more from a man than what I can give you._

_Please know that having you was my greatest joy in life and letting you go will always be my biggest regret._

_Con todo mi corazón,_

_Rafael_


	17. Chapter 17

“You tricked me into this,” Rafael accused, trying his best to adjust his shirt. He flipped down the visor and made sure that his hair was alright in the mirror as he glared at Kathy sitting in the back seat from the reflection. “I bet she doesn’t even know I’m coming, does she?”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Raf,” Kathy sighed, leaning forward to pat his shoulder as Peter chuckled from the driver's seat. “When she called to invite us, she asked us to bring you along.”

“She thought we might have to drag you,” Peter added.

“Not drag,” Rafael drawled. “Just lie.”

Kathy tutted and Rafael watched in the mirror as she sank back into the seat. “Oh, you wouldn’t have come if we said whose party it was,” Kathy sighed as she checked her lipstick in her compact. “Besides, this is really getting old whatever it is that happened between you two. Whoever’s at fault just needs to apologize and you two can just get back to normal.”

Rafael shut the visor and glared out the passenger window at the small mansions they passed as they got further into the outskirts of Greenwich. “Really, Kathy?” he grumbled under his breath. “What just kiss and makeup?”

“Kathy was just looking forward to the wedding I think,” Peter observed with a grin to which Rafael groaned. “But c’mon, Barbs. It’s not as though either of you had an affair or something so bad as that. Whatever it is, it’s not like it can’t be worked out.”

“I love you both, truly,” Rafael snapped. “But this discussion is over.”

Rafael could see Peter glance at his wife in the rearview mirror, but the couple simply smiled at each other and remained silent until they pulled off the main road onto a long drive. 

Trees obscured the view of the property from the street. But fifty feet down the drive, the house appeared at the end of a large, well manicured lawn. Rafael gaped. He couldn’t even recognize the place. The rotted shingles had all been replaced and were now painted a somber grey that blended in with the vibrant green of the late summer. The hedges around the front drive were perfectly trimmed instead of overgrown and the ivy that had grown up into the roof had been trimmed back. The rotted, broken windows had all been restored with a fresh coat of paint and no broken glass was in sight. As they stepped out at the front door, Rafael couldn’t help but stare up, slack jawed. 

“You doubted her, didn’t you?” he heard Peter say, amusement obvious in his voice. Rafael knew he was holding himself back from saying ‘I told you so.’

“Has she had any offers yet?”

“Multiple.”

“What’s the asking price?” Rafael asked, picking his jaw back up off the gravel. He glanced at Peter, not sure he wanted to know. 

His friend simply grinned at him as he handed the keys to the valet. “Twenty mil,” Peter said and Rafael felt a bit faint. “And after tonight, it’ll be in the bag.”

* * *

“Are the caterers all set?”

“Yes,” Claudia answered. “And both bars are stocked. The band is all warmed up by the pool.”

“Bathrooms?”

“I just checked them a half hour ago,” the older woman sighed. “They were cleaned and supplied.” Before Emily could ask, Claudia answered, “Yes, I’ll check again in an hour. Will you stop fussing, please? Just enjoy yourself! This is why you pay people, remember? We do know how to do our jobs!”

Her sister-in-law and event planner glared at her. Claudia handed Emily a glass of wine, gave her a firm nod and walked down the stairs, into the crowd with a look of determination. Emily sighed. She knew that Claudia had everything taken care of, but as she leaned over the banister and took a sip of wine, her nerves still made her head spin. 

This project had been her emotional and physical distraction since her breakup with Rafael. Sure, she’d bought it on the spot when they’d seen it a year ago. She’d spent months planning it over the winter. Months of tireless prep and review and permitting. Ever since June, however, Emily had thrown herself into headfirst, spending the majority of her time in Connecticut supervising the rehab from the site. It had gotten her away from the city, away from Rafael. It had taken her mind off everything. Now, however, as she looked around at the freshly painted walls, polished woodwork, and staged furniture, she couldn’t help but wonder what in the world she was supposed to do with herself. 

“Emily! This looks incredible!”

Turning, Emily caught site of Kathy walking up the stairs towards her perch on the landing of the entrance hall. Emily smiled at her, pushing off the banister to greet her friend with a hug. “Thanks, Kathy,” she said as pulled back. “I hope Peter’s clients are just as impressed.”

“You’ve already got offers, darling,” Kathy lowered her voice, her eyes bright. “And Peter was just saying to Rafael that after tonight--”

“Rafael?” Emily interrupted her, her wine glass halfway to her lips. She pulled it away and raised her eyebrows at Kathy, astonished. “He actually came?”

Kathy laughed. “Of course, he did. We convinced him to take a weekend away from work and told him there was a party we had to go to--”

“Kathy, you lied to him!”

“Only a little white lie,” Kathy drawled, waving her hand. “We didn’t force him at gunpoint.”

Emily’s face flushed against her will. She could feel her heart start to race. When she had asked Kathy and Peter to invite Rafael, that had been her intention. For them to ask him if he wanted to come, not to trick him into coming against his will. Taking a large gulp of wine. Emily looked up at Kathy and tried her best not to glare at her but couldn’t bring herself to. Kathy looked at her with such honest sympathy that all Emily could do was sigh and smile weakly. Emily was about to say something when she heard someone call out her name below. Glancing down, she saw one of Claudia’s assistant’s trying to get her attention. 

“I’ll find you later?” Emily touched her arm and smiled as she passed her to move down the stairs. When she was almost to the bottom she glanced up and there he was across the room. Luckily, he didn’t see her, he was facing to the side. 

Emily let herself watch him for a moment as she slowly worked her way through the crowd. His light brown suit was more casual than usual and complimented his tan. He must have had some time outside on his weekend off, she thought with a smile. He had forgone a tie and the top button of his shirt was open, making her itch to reach out and touch his neck, to run her hand down his chest. He had one hand in his pocket and another wrapped around a glass of scotch as he stood confidently, talking to a gentleman that Emily didn’t recognize.

Tearing her eyes away from him, she finally reached Tony at the other side of the room. “What’s up?”

“Claudia wanted me to ask where the dimmer was for the patio lights?”

“There’s one in the kitchen, by the door to the outside,” Emily explained, trying to gesture with her hand. “And then another in the library. They’re both to the left of the door.”

Tony thanked her and left. As Emily took another sip of her wine and turned around to find Kathy once more, she caught Rafael gazing at her. Their eyes met over a dozen or so people who stood between them in the entrance hall. His face was unreadable, but he refused to look away as Emily’s breath hitched in her throat. She swallowed, trying to regain control of her breathing. Finally, she forced a small smile and nodded at him. Without smiling, he nodded back and quickly resumed conversation with his companion.

* * *

Rafael barely recognized the room without the pungent smell of mildew and falling plaster. He did recognize the ornate terracotta fireplace, however, and the dark shelves. He whistled under his breath as he stepped inside and shut the door behind him. The lights were dim from above the tops of the shelves, but there was a light on the desk that Emily had put in the center of the room. 

Peter had been right. Rafael had doubted her. The last time Rafael had been in this room, he couldn’t see past the peeling paint and the 1980s carpet. The carpet was long gone, exposing the herringbone parquet floor underneath. The wall that wasn’t covered in shelves had a fresh coat of paint. The woodwork had been cleaned. With a sigh, he moved over toward the window behind the desk. He looked out over the water, watching the lights from the party cast shadows on it. He’d thought she was crazy and she’d proven him -- dare he say it? -- wrong. It was something he was not used to, but Emily always seemed to have had a knack for that. 

“Contemplating your loss?”

Rafael jumped and let out a string of swears. His hand clutched his chest as he rounded to look for who’d spoken. There, sitting in one of the large overstuffed armchairs that faced the large bay window he was looking out of was Emily. She held a glass of red wine in her hand. Her high heels were on the floor beside her chair and her feet were propped up on the ottoman in front of her. 

“Sorry.” She smiled at him apologetically before taking a sip of her wine. “I should have figured I wouldn’t be the only one hiding.”

Rafael straightened his jacket and leaned against the windowsill as he studied her. She looked tired. More so than when he’d last seen her in her office three week prior. The night before he’d sent that damn letter. Her eyes met his and he quickly looked away, focusing instead on the desk. “What loss?”

“Our bet,” she said simply. “You owe me a vacation.”

Rafael couldn’t help but snort. He wished he could pretend he didn’t remember that, but he remembered it all too well, though it was awkward admitting it now. “I suppose I do,” he said with a sigh. 

“Peter got two more offers tonight,” she commented casually. “We’ll probably close at a little below twenty-three.”

“Jesus,” Rafael said, shaking his head at the thought of that amount of money. “What will you do with it?”

Emily shrugged and took another sip of wine. Rafael watched her, trying to focus on her words instead of the strand of hair she was twirling around her finger. “We got the bid on an apartment building rehab over in the village. Should last us through the winter,” she said casually. “I also made an offer on a townhouse in Brooklyn. As soon as I close on this, I can close on that. Start again next spring. At least it’s closer to home.”

“And you say I need a vacation.” Rafael said before he could stop himself, looking at her with exasperation. “Do you ever stop working?”

Her laugh made his heart hurt slightly. When she stopped chuckling, she looked up at him and quirked an eyebrow. “Really, Rafael? You’re going to accuse me of being a workaholic?”

“Pot, kettle,” he grumbled, shifting on his feet a bit as his eyes moved to the floor. 

“I’m sorry that Pete and Kathy tricked you into coming,” Emily said suddenly. Her voice was quiet and sad. Rafael glanced up and looked at her face, but his eyes were caught once more by her fingers. They were no longer toying with her hair, but with the gold chain around her neck. Absentmindedly, she pressed the small gold pendant between her fingertips and tugged at the chain as her eyes stared at the far wall. “I asked them to invite you, not lie to you.”

“It’s fine,” Rafael assured her, his heart only aching worse as he watched her. “I wanted to come, I just…” His words failed him for a moment as he thought. It wasn’t until she looked up, her eyes meeting his that he finally let out a sigh and answered, “I wanted to come, I just wasn’t sure if you would actually want me here.”

They watched each other for a few moments, each trying to read the other. Finally, Emily shifted her feet off the ottoman and she patted it with her hand, motioning for him to sit. With another sigh, Rafael was surprised to find himself actually agreeing. He unbuttoned his jacket and shifted it behind him as he sat facing her, leaning onto his knees. She sat back in the chair, folding one leg over the other and raised her glass to her lips as she surveyed him once more. 

“Of course, I wanted you here,” she scoffed at him. “Why else would I have invited you?” She paused for a second but didn’t bother to wait for him to respond before plunging onward with her confession. “It’s been...difficult for me these past few months without you,” she admitted, her voice quiet. “I didn’t realize how much I’d started to rely on you until you weren’t there anymore. Your support, your encouragement.” She stopped suddenly, as though she realized what she was saying or if she’d run out of words. Her eyes stared down at her glass. 

“I know,” Rafael responded, folding his hands together as he watched her face. He ached to reach out and touch her. “I get home at night and wait for you to walk through the door. Or something happens at work and you’re the first person I want to call--”

“Elaine says something funny and I know only you would laugh--”

“I make a dumb mistake and no one else will call me on it--”

“It’s not fair, Rafi,” she said. Her voice and eyes were so sad that Rafael could feel his heart breaking all over again. “I know you think that you’re protecting me, but it isn’t fair. That shouldn’t be your decision.”

“Emily,” he began to plead. 

“No,” she interrupted. “Just because you think it’s unsafe or on the off chance someone might use me against you does not mean that you get to decide what’s best for me.”

“It’s more than just that, Em,” Rafael murmured, looking away from her eyes. He couldn’t bear to see the pain in them any longer. “You deserve better than what I can give you.”

“Is this just about my safety?” she asked, skeptical. “Or is this about my money? Your age?”

“All of it,” he answered honestly. “If you stay with me you are stuck with a man who will have no time for you, does not have nearly your earning potential, who gets death threats on a regular basis--”

“Death threats?”

“And who will be almost seventy by the time our kids graduate from college.” Rafael didn’t see the horror on her face as he continued on his tangent. “I refuse to keep you in a relationship that you will inevitably end up regretting.”

“What do you mean death threats?” she practically had to shout over him to get him to finally look up at her and stop his speech. His eyebrows shot up when he realized she’d set down her wine glass and was leaning towards him, worry marring her face. “From who? When did this start?”

He clicked his tongue and waved it off. “It’s nothing I was just being dramatic,” he said trying to play it off. 

“Typical, but death threats aren’t nothing, Rafi!” she scolded. She reached out and put a hand on his knee. “Was this about the Johnny D. trial?”

Sighing, Rafael shook his head. “Actually, no. They started after I indicted the cops for shooting the teenager.”

Emily’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened as her grip on his knee tightened. “Raf,” she said, deathly serious. “You told someone, right? Benson? IAB?”

“They’re not serious, just hang up calls, texts.” His eyes narrowed and he tutted at her slightly. “This is exactly what I am talking about though,” he said, gesturing at her face. “I’m not going to stop taking on hard cases and threats aren’t going to stop.”

“I don’t expect you to stop. You’re too damn stubborn,” she grumbled the last part under her breath. “But you also shouldn’t expect me to not be worried when someone threatens your goddamn life!”

“Emily,” he pleaded. “You could have an easier life with someone else--”

“I don’t want easy,” she said through gritted teeth. “I want you and if you would get off your damn chivalrous high horse for just a minute, you would be able to admit that you want me, too.”

“I never said I didn’t--”

“No, you’re just trying to think of every excuse in the book to stop yourself from being happy,” she snapped. With a huff she sat back in her chair, waving her hand between them both. “I know we don’t have a lot in common, Raf, but one thing we do have in common? Nothing we’ve ever done has come easy, as much as we’d hate to admit it. Even now, we still do everything the hard way. If you’re still set on us being over, so be it. Get up and walk out that door, but I call bullshit.” Picking up her wine glass in one hand, she pointed at him with the other. “You’ve got bigger balls than this, Barba.”

Rafael groaned and put his head in his hands. Damn this woman, he thought to himself. A part of him wanted to continue to fight, to continue to claim that they wouldn’t work, but he knew that she was right. She was the only woman he was ever going to be able admit defeat to. Even his own mother he could never do that with. Finally, he set his chin on his folded hands and stared at her, sighing. 

“Tu loca mujer,” he grumbled. 

She scoffed and took a sip of wine. “Really, Mr.-My-Kids-Will-Graduate-When-I’m-Seventy? You’re only forty-three, get a grip, and I’m sure as hell not knocking out babies when I’m forty.”

He opened his mouth to retort, but just then the door opened and the room filled with laughter. “I swear, she’s just being anti-social,” he heard Kathy say over her shoulder. “Emily, it’s time to stop hiding! Come back down--oh.”

When she looked back into the room, Kathy stopped abruptly. Her eyebrows shot up as Rafael and Emily both looked up at her blankly. “Am I interrupting?” Kathy asked slowly, looking between the two of them and trying her best to not smile victoriously. 

“No,” Emily and Rafael both said at the same time. Rafael glanced at Emily, catching her eye. They stared at each other for a few seconds. Finally, with a small cough, Rafael stood and buttoned his jacket. “I should probably get back downstairs as well. I shouldn’t let Emily neglect her guests. Excuse me.”

Kathy grinned at him as he passed her, but he refused to look at her and her companions as he made his escape. 

A half-hour later, he had a fresh glass of scotch in his hand as he leaned over the railing of the patio. He could hear conversation behind him as he stared off over the water. He didn’t even bother to look up when Peter leaned over the railing next to him. 

“So…” Peter began, but Rafael quickly stopped him. 

“We were just talking,” he brushed him off.

“Talking is better than nothing,” Peter assured under his breath. “Look, this is beyond ridiculous. The both of you are miserable without the other. You both just need to accept it and move past whatever your differences are.”

“And what if we can’t?” Rafael demanded, glaring over at Peter. 

Peter sighed and turned to face Rafael straight on. “Do you remember what you said to me after I first introduced you to Kate?”

“To make sure your prenup was better than your one with Lena,” Rafael grumbled into his scotch glass. 

“No, that was at the engagement party,” Peter corrected, chuckling. “No, you told me that I’d better not mess this one up. You said that chances were I wasn’t going to find another woman as good as Kathy in my lifetime and that if I was as smart as everyone thought I was, I would stop being a fool and lock it down.” Peter put his hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “I know you’re as smart as everyone complains, Rafi, but sometimes you need to take your own damn advice.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW: Smut Ahead

The next morning, Emily woke with a headache and she let out a groan as the sun hit her eyes from the window. She cursed herself for having switched to bourbon from wine once Kathy interrupted her conversation with Rafael. It had not been her brightest moment and she was paying for it now. She laid there for a few more minutes, hand over her eyes, before she sat up and glanced at her phone. 

10:23. 

She groaned again and slugged herself out of bed to the bathroom to search for some Advil. It was going to be a hellish ride back to the city as it was. She’d intended on getting an early start, now that plan was shot. 

She was halfway done piling her clothes from the weekend back into her bag when she went to her desk to collect her laptop. It was then she noticed the small envelope that had been slipped under her door. With a raised eyebrow, she picked it up and took a heavy seat on the bed to open it. Familiar handwriting greeted her and her heart skipped a beat.

_I didn’t want to wake you, but I think our conversation from last night isn’t finished. If you’re back in the city tonight, meet me for a drink. I’ll be there at eight._

Her breathing stopped as she reread the words. When she finally did start breathing again, her heart was beating so heavily in her chest she felt panicked she might have a heart attack. Isn’t finished? Her mind raced as she tried to decipher his meaning. Did that mean he agreed with her? Did that mean he was still settled on them being finished? What? 

“Damn you, Rafael and your ambiguity,” she cursed as she shoved the note into her suitcase and finished packing. 

It was all she could focus on as she drove back to her townhouse. Even as she sat in traffic, even as she unpacked, even as she walked down the street from her townhouse later that night to meet him, she couldn’t help but feel anxiety chewing at the pit of her stomach. 

He hadn’t needed to tell her where to go. It was their usual spot, halfway between his apartment and her townhouse. It took her longer than usual to walk there as she dragged her feet. When she finally arrived, she noticed with half annoyance and half relief that it was quiet inside. Only a few people sat at the bar and most of the tables were empty. 

Except one. 

With a deep breath she pushed the door open. He looked up and met her eyes when she approached him. He wasn’t smiling, but instead looked just as anxious as she did and that only made Emily feel even more nauseous. 

“Look, Rafi,” she started quickly as she took a heavy seat across from him. “If you just invited me here to keep fighting, let’s just--”

“No, Em,” he stopped her. “I don’t want to fight anymore.”

They were both quiet as the waitress came to their table. “Long-time no see, you two. The usual?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at the two. 

“Yes, please,” they both said at the same time, much to the other’s embarrassment, but their waitress just smiled and retreated back to the bar. 

They fell back into silence and Emily stared down at his folded hands. It was Rafael who finally broke the silence and asked, “Are you sure you’re not going to wake up one day and regret this?”

“Are you sure you won’t?” Emily shot back. She sighed and looked up to meet his eyes. “We can’t really be certain of anything, Rafael. Tomorrow, I could wake up and get hit by a bus. A year from now, you might want to quit your job and move to Hawaii--”

“Doubtful.”

“Either way,” Emily growled at him. “We don’t know what is going to happen or how we’ll feel in the future, but I do know that right now, I want us. I’m willing to work through our differences and continue to work through them because I love you. I want us to work, but I don’t want to force you into this if you don’t want that, too.”

Their waitress returned with their drinks before Rafael could respond. Emily quickly picked hers up and took a large gulp of bourbon. She watched Rafael carefully as his eyes searched hers. He was calm, collected and it drove her crazy to not be able to tell what he was thinking. Finally, he took a sip of his drink and asked, “How do you feel about Barcelona?”

“Spain?” she asked, taken completely aback by the change of topic. “Um, I don’t know. I heard it’s nice this time of year,” she answered, half joking. She was confused. They’d discussed this before. He knew very well she’d never been and Barcelona was on her bucket list, but why was he bringing this up now?

Emily narrowed her eyes at him as he took a sip of his scotch and set the glass down on the table. Reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket he pulled out an envelope and slid it to her across the table. Her eyes narrowed further at him as she picked it up, but he calmly resumed drinking. When she opened the envelope, she found two tickets from LaGuardia to Barcelona. She stared at the tickets for a minute before looking up at him, mouth open and eyes wide. 

“Rafael, these leave in three hours!”

“You’re the one who said I needed a vacation,” he responded simply, shrugging his shoulders. 

She continued to gape at him for a second, mouth sputtering as she tried to make her mind understand what was happening. “Now? What about work?”

“I got two weeks approved this morning with the order not to report to work tomorrow or I’d be fired,” he told her with a small laugh. He set his glass down and met her eyes, nervous once again as he asked her quietly, “What do you say, Em?”

She looked back down at the tickets, taking deep breaths to calm herself. After another minute, she tucked them back into the envelope, picked up her glass and downed its contents. Standing up, she grabbed his hand and began tugging him towards the door. 

“Hurry up then,” she ordered. “I only just unpacked, and I need my passport.” 

Chuckling, Rafael only had time to toss a twenty onto the table before she dragged him out onto the street.

* * *

He could feel soft fingertips tracing patterns on his back. He was lying on his stomach in a comfortable bed, his cheek sideways on a plush pillow. For some reason, he didn’t think he had a shirt on because the fingers just seemed to be touching his skin. He sighed in contentment as the fingers were replaced with soft lips. 

“Emily,” he whispered. 

Rafael was dreaming, that much he was certain of. It had been months since he’d had her in his bed, felt her hands on his body, her lips on his skin. He’d had dreams like this numerous times since he’d broken up with her. It was always the same. He’d wake up to find her next to him. He’d pull her close, kiss her and then she’d be gone. 

Kisses slowly trailed up his spine to his neck. He felt her breath on his ear and then heard her voice, “I’m here, my love.”

Sighing in contentment, he tried to just let himself enjoy the feeling of her hands moving across his skin and her lips pressing lazy kisses to his neck and shoulders. He knew it was just a dream and he knew that if he pushed too much, he would destroy it. After a moment, though, he couldn’t help himself. Rafael rolled onto his side and reached out to her. Without opening his eyes, he pulled her to him. 

Enveloping her in his arms, he let his hands roam over her body. Her face, her back, her breasts, her ass. She felt so real. His lips found hers and he kissed her. His tongue traced her lips and when he pulled her bottom lip between his teeth, he heard her sigh. He could feel his cock begin to stiffen and with a huff of annoyance, he flopped over onto his back. 

“What’s wrong?” Emily murmured; her voice slightly breathless. 

Rafael didn’t even bother to respond. He waited a few minutes for his mind to fog over again and for this dream to fade. Instead, however, he felt her body slide up against his once more. Her leg slid between his and she half laid on top of his chest. Reluctantly, Rafael opened his eyes and blinked. There she was, as beautiful as ever. Her eyes were bleary and still filled with sleep. She had her chin resting on his chest as she smiled up at him. Her dark hair was a mess and he was desperate to reach up and rake his hands through it. 

Glancing away from her, he looked around the room. Sun was filtering in through a large sliding glass door that led to a balcony. He could see the rooftops of the buildings surrounding them from there and he was confused until suddenly realization hit him. 

“I’m not dreaming.”

Emily laughed and he glanced down at her. Her eyes were glittering with amusement as she looked at him curiously. “Disappointed?”

He pushed her hair out of her face before gently running his hand down her cheek. She turned her head to kiss his palm and he sighed. “Far from it.”

“Good.” Emily pushed herself up to straddle his hips. It was then he noticed that she only had on his shirt from yesterday and nothing else, he quickly realized, as she intentionally moved her hips to rub her core against his arousal. “It’d be a pain to have to fly back to New York.”

Rafael hummed as he throbbed against her teasing hips. “You’re not going anywhere,” he ordered, his voice gravely. His hands moved up her chest, pushing up his shirt as he went. When he was at her shoulders, she relented and put her arms up so that he could pull it off. He gazed at her for a few moments, his hands tracing his eyes down her chest to her hips. He had his hands on her waist when she pushed up on her knees, took his dick into her hand, and slowly guided herself down onto it. 

His eyes snapped shut and his back arched at the feeling. He had to bite back a groan as she sank completely onto him, lifted herself up and then plunged back down. Her hands rested on his stomach as she steadied herself. The sound of her loud breaths and sighs was music to his ears. When he opened his eyes, he met her blue ones. Before she could move back down to impale herself again, he thrust his himself up into her. 

Watching her toss her head back and hearing the moan it elicited from her nearly sent him over the edge. Moving to sit up, he pulled her face down to meet his and kissed her fiercely. When he pulled away, he pushed her off him. 

“Raf--” she started to protest, but he had already moved up to his knees. 

Turning her around, he pulled her back to his chest. He kept her there with one arm wrapped tightly around her. With his free hand, he guided himself back into her from behind. She let out a soft whimper as her head tipped back to rest on his shoulder. His lips and teeth teased at the sensitive spot at the bottom of her neck where it met her shoulder. His thrusts were slow, deliberate as he moved into her. Her hands moved from pressing her fingernails into his thighs up to grip his hair and keep him close. 

“Did you miss me?” he whispered into her ear. 

“Yes,” she replied, her voice half a moan. “Of course, I did.”

One of his hands moved up to caress her breasts. Kneading it, he pulled at her nipples with his fingers, pinching them gently until she bucked back against him. His other arm loosed his hold on her and he let his hand travel to gently skim over the hair that formed at the top of her mound. As he teased her, running his fingers slowly at the top of her pussy, he could hear her breath hitching in her throat. 

“Do you want me to make you come?” he asked, taking her earlobe between his teeth and nibbling gently. His thrusts became harder, more forceful and she pulled at his hair. 

“Please,” she begged, breathless. “Rafael, please.”

“Please, what?”

“Please, make me come,” she moaned. His fingers teasingly traced her lips before pushing them aside to find her clit. When he pressed two fingers on it, she bucked back against him once more. Groaning into her ear, his fingers began to circle the small nub with quick strokes. 

As his fingers moved more quickly and his cock plowed even deeper into her, Emily’s cries became louder. Her pulling at his hair was almost painful, but Rafael didn’t object. Just feeling her come undone in his arms was worth any amount of pain. Listening to her moaning his name as she thrashed in his grip, his heart felt as though it would explode. 

Suddenly, Rafael could feel her core clench around his cock so tightly he let out a moan himself. He could feel the spasm roll through her as she fell back into him, soft cries and meaningless pleadings leaving her mouth. Her hands left his hair, to grip at his arms as she nearly collapsed from the pleasure of her orgasm. 

After leaving soft kisses on her neck, he pulled himself out of her and let her collapse on her back on the bed. His eyes watched, entranced, as she tried to catch her breath. After a couple of moments, her eyes opened, and brilliant blue searched his face. Reaching out her arms, she spread her legs and beckoned him back to her. 

“You’re not done,” she told him, but Rafael just chuckled at her as he leaned down to kiss her briefly. 

“It’s fine, Emily,” he started, but she cut him off. She had her hand on his back, pulling him down between her legs. It was her hand that moved between them to guide him back inside of her. 

With a sigh of contentment, he sank back into her. Her legs moved to wrap around his waist, her hands dragging her fingernails down his back as she pulled him close. Wrapping his arms around her, he buried his face into her shoulder as he slowly made love to her.

* * *

“How was your vacation? This is what, the first time you’ve taken more than a day off in a year?”

“Two, actually,” Rafael corrected Benson as he picked up two coffees from the vendor. He paid the man and handed one to Olivia before smiling to himself as he responded, “It was great. I should do it more often.”

“Look at you,” Olivia teased as she watched him. “Is our ADA actually getting a life? Where’d you go? The Bahamas? You got a pretty good tan.”

Rafael cast her a sidelong glare. “We went to Spain for a week then took the train up to France.”

“We?” He wanted to kick himself as soon as he realized the slip. “You really are getting a life. How long have you been keeping this under wraps?”

Doing his best to avoid eye contact as he walked, he could still see her out of the corner of his eyes watching him with interest. “A year,” he said under his breath and Olivia gaped at him. “On and off.” He tried to think of a way to change the subject, but Olivia was already laughing. 

“Jesus, Barba,” she said, sounding impressed. “You’re human after all. Carisi swore you were a perpetual bachelor, but if he knew--”

“Please, Liv,” he pleaded, stopping her on the sidewalk. “Let’s just keep it between us.”

“I’m assuming you’re not going to tell me who the lucky person is?” she asked, raising an eyebrow over her coffee. Rafael stayed obstinately silent and Olivia just sighed. Patting him on the back, she started to walk again. “Well, congratulations all the same. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you and now that you’re done with your interrogation, can we discuss the Hoda trial?”


	19. Chapter 19

“Elaine,” Rafael sighed, cutting off the seven-year-old as she jabbered on at him in a mixture of Portuguese and English. While he was getting slightly better at understanding Portuguese from spending more time with his girlfriend’s niece and in-laws, the girl’s fast speech was hard to decipher. “Inglés, por favor. You know, just because you continue an argument with someone in a language they don’t understand does not mean you automatically win said argument.”

Elaine grumbled a moment longer, before saying, “Since you and tia are back together, can I call you tio?”

“I don’t think--”

“Why not?” Elaine demanded, rounding on Rafael before he could even finish his sentence. She let go of his hand and turned towards him, placing her hands on her hips. As she stood on the stone wall beside him, she was almost his height. With her stern look, Rafael was torn between being amused and scared. Despite her brown eyes and smaller nose, she looked so much like her aunt when she was angry, it was disconcerting. 

“Will you let me finish?” Rafael asked, exasperated. He mimicked her and put his own hands on his hips. Elaine simply crossed her hands over her chest and glowered at him, but was silent nonetheless. “Since I’m not married to your aunt, I’m not technically your uncle so I don’t think--”

“But you’re going to marry Emmy.”

“Elaine--”

“Aren’t you?” 

Rafael sighed, wondering why it was a seven-year-old could stump him. “Maybe someday,” Rafael tried to blow off the question. 

“No!” Elaine said forcefully. “No maybe! Either you are or you aren’t! Are you going to ask her?”

“Yes! Okay? I’m going to!” A smile instantly spread across the girl’s lips, but panic rose in Rafael's chest and he began waving his hands at her frantically as he saw her face turn to look over his shoulder towards Emily. “But you can’t say a word, Elaine! You have to swear! Promise!”

“I promise,” Elaine said in a terrible stage whisper. She held up her pinky for Rafael to shake. “But I still get to call you tio from now on.”

“Deal,” Rafael obliged as he hooked her pinky with his.

* * *

Rafael whistled when he finally looked up from his phone and met Emily’s expectant eyes. She’d waited a solid thirty seconds after coming out of the dressing room. Finally, she’d just put her hands on her hips and waited for her boyfriend to remember she existed, but once he caught sight of her, she didn’t have to work too hard. From the look on his face, however, Emily could tell he was not a fan of the dress. 

“You don’t like it?”

“No, it’s just…” His jaw was slightly slack as he circled her, giving her the once over. “Isn’t it a little sexy for a work event?”

“It’s not necessarily a work event,” Emily corrected as she turned to look in the mirror. The red velvet felt good against her skin and would be warm for the January event, though the short, off the shoulder sleeves would not help. Neither would the slit that went up to her mid-thigh. “I’m just getting an award from the Conservancy.” Glancing over at Rafael, she saw he still was staring at the dress, skeptical. “You just don’t want me to look good for anyone else but you, you selfish bastard.”

Not bothering to deny it, Rafael walked back over to the wrack of evening gowns and pointed out a more modest blue one. “How about this, it would complement your eyes?”

With a huff, Emily tossed the skirt back behind her and walked over to glare at the dress. When she saw the tag, she immediately made a noise of disgust. “No, it’s Gilbert.”

Rafael looked at the dress and then her, confused. “And? That makes a difference how?”

“I’m not going to wear a gown made by a company of rapists,” Emily growled as she pushed the dress back on the rack and went to the one next to it. 

“The House of Gilbert? How do you know this?”

Glancing over at him, Emily looked slightly surprised. “How do you not?” When Rafael continued to stare at her, she rolled her eyes. “You really need to watch more LMZ.”

“You’re seriously telling me that Benno Gilbert is a rapist?”

“Not him, his brother, Alvin,” Emily corrected as she pondered a yellow dress for a moment before passing on it. “He’s got a thing for young models. Really young.”

“Has anyone ever pressed charges?” Rafael asked, his voice serious but curious. 

“Not that I’d heard of, though you’d know better than me,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “Stories say the older brother pays them off. Gets them contracts or jobs.” Glancing at Rafael, Emily could see the gears turning in his head and she suddenly regretted informing him of this. She could guess what he’d be doing tonight over a glass of scotch. Deciding to change the subject, she turned back to face him, putting her hands on her hips once more. “Is this one really so bad?”

He pursed his lips as he assessed the dress, his eyes lingering on the amount of cleavage the dress showed. “You’ve got two months to pick a dress,” he tried to stall, but Emily huffed and walked back to the dressing room. 

“I’m getting it.”

* * *

This time when Rafael showed up at Aaron Reinhardt’s house for Christmas, his only worry was about the wrath of her family for their brief break that summer. He’d seen her brother Isaac at the bakery he worked at downtown a few times with Emily and they’d spent time with Kristen’s family since getting back together. The awkwardness had subsided slowly as her family appeared to forgive him. However, Rafael hadn’t faced them all in one room again since last Christmas. Not to mention, he had another reason for being nervous, but that anxiety would stay with him throughout the night. 

Luckily for Rafael, either the Reinhardt clan had been told to be on their best behavior or they had in fact forgiven him. Even Emily’s sister Louise was polite.

It was after dinner that Rafael saw his moment of opportunity. Emily was still at the table with the women of the clan as her brothers and nephew sat down in the living room to play a game. Rafael saw her father sneak away into the kitchen and Rafael quickly followed. 

Richard Reinhardt was at the coffee maker, refilling his coffee mug. He looked up when he saw Rafael enter the kitchen and he smiled. “Escaping the chaos, too?”

Rafael let out a small laugh and awkwardly looked down at the counter. “I actually was hoping to catch you alone.” 

Not much to Rafael’s surprise, Richard didn’t respond. Instead, he took a seat at the island and sipped his coffee as he watched Rafael with a blank expression. Rafael had always found the man unnerving. A man of few words unless he was making a crude joke or saying something surprisingly insightful, it was impossible to read the man. Even more unnerving, when Rafael glanced up and met the man’s eyes, he knew exactly where Emily’s bright blue eyes came from. 

“I’m going to ask Emily to marry me,” he announced as he took the barstool next to Richard. Rafael kept his voice quiet as to not attract the attention of the rest of the family in the other room. His heart pounded against his chest as he watched Richard calmly take another sip of coffee, blue eyes surveying him evenly.

“You’re not asking my permission,” Richard noted, arching an eyebrow at the younger man. 

“No,” Rafael responded, glancing down at his hands. “But I would like your blessing.” It was silent for a long time and Rafael grew more and more nervous. “I love your daughter, sir. I want to be given the chance to be the husband she deserves. She respects your opinion greatly, as do I. All I ask is that you tell me honestly if you approve.”

“I do approve,” Richard said simply, much to Rafael’s shock. “I’m not gonna deny that you’re not exactly what I pictured when I thought of Emily’s future husband,” Richard started and Rafael’s face fell. Richard smiled at him, though, admitting, “You’re better. Out of all my kids, Emily is the strongest and hardest-working. She needs a partner who’s her equal. I think she’s found that in you.”

With a sigh of relief, Rafael smiled, shakily. It wasn’t long, however, before Richard got back down to business, “Have you got a ring yet?”


	20. Chapter 20

It was already half past six, but Emily was still struggling over samples when she heard a knock on the door. 

“Come in! It’s open!” she shouted. 

“Where are you?” she heard Rafael call out. 

“I’m in the dining room!” she called. She didn’t bother to look up from the color swatches she had held up against the wallpaper. She could hear him walk up behind her, but her eyes still glowered at the two different shades of beige. “Which one do you like better?” she asked as he pressed a kiss of greeting to her cheek. 

“They’re brown,” he grumbled. “You hate brown. You always say it’s boring.” 

She clicked her tongue. “It isn’t about what I like, it’s about what’ll sell. She let the paint chips fall onto the plastic covered buffet and sighed, looking up at him. She leaned in to give him a proper kiss before returning to the folding table that had other material choices laid out for her to make decisions on. “Help me pick a light fixture.”

“What’s wrong with the one here? Isn’t it original?”

“This one’s staying, but the one in the kitchen doesn’t work and the former owners took the library and living room chandeliers with them,” she explained over her shoulder as she took the photo array of light fixtures with her into the other room. “How’d the viewings go with Peter? Did you make a decision yet?”

Rafael followed her into the library. Emily glanced away from light fixtures to watch him as he ran his hand over the mantle, avoiding eye contact with her. “They were alright,” he said, non-committal. He moved to stand next to her, glancing at her sheet. “That one is hideous,” he exclaimed, pointing towards a more modern option. “It would look awful in this room.”

“It is,” she agreed, but shrugged. “But a lot of the yuppies moving into this neighborhood like that kind of thing.” She turned the page and glanced up at him, refusing to let the original subject drop. “Your lease is up in a month, Raf. You need to find a place.”

“What about this one?” He pointed to a simple, iron fixture with a glass shade. Emily was annoyed to find herself agreeing with him, but wasn’t surprised. He always did have a better sense for interior design than she did. “This looks like one you’d choose.”

“Yes, but it’s not my house! Raf, stop trying to--”

“But what if it was?”

“What if it was what?”

“Your house,” he answered, meeting her eyes and raising an eyebrow as a challenge. 

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not. You love this house,” he stated simply.

“I love every house I work on,” she argued. It was her turn to avoid eye contact as she went back to flipping through the pages of her submittal. 

“Not like this. I saw that look in your eye the first time you brought me here. You still have it, even now. Every time you talk about it.” Moving behind her, he wrapped his arms around her and said enticingly into her ear, “Imagine it, Em. You could make this house the way you wanted it. Not how some yuppie couple wanted it. No ugly browns, no ridiculous modern lights.”

Emily glanced around the room, taking in the well cared for woodwork, the built ins, the intricate plasterwork, and sighed. The idea had crossed her mind more than once since she’d bought the house. She couldn’t deny the fact that he was right. She loved this house. It was so rare to find such a gem of a home, well cared for and maintained in the same family for generations. It felt like a shame having to rehab it just to sell it. 

“Rafi,” she said pleadingly. “What am I going to do with a seven bedroom house? I already have two bedrooms and it’s too much.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about that,” he said. He pulled away from her. She turned to face him as his hand dug into the pocket of his coat. She raised an eyebrow at him as he continued. “I’m sure we could start filling some of those bedrooms up with little Barbas -- I do remember you saying you didn’t want to be forty and popping out babies--”

“Rafi--”

“What I’m getting at,” Rafael cut her off. He pulled out a small, black velvet box from his pocket and he looked up into her eyes once more. “Is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Emily. I want to raise a family, grow old, and I think that this might be the place we can do it.” 

Emily was speechless. The papers in her hand fell to the floor as she covered her mouth. She watched him, eyes glazing over with tears as he kneeled down onto one knee. Her mind was having a hard time acknowledging that this was reality and she just gaped at him as he asked, “Em, will you marry me?”

She couldn’t even see the ring through her tears, but she felt herself nodding repeatedly as her hands pulled away from her mouth so she could gasp out, “Yes! Of course!” Her hands gripped the front of his coat, pulling him up before he could even attempt to put the ring on her finger. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tears fell down her cheeks as she kissed him. 

Rafael was laughing as he pulled away. He reached up and gently wiped the tears off her cheeks before taking her left hand into his and sliding on the ring. Sniffing, Emily finally looked down at the gold band with a single, European cut diamond. 

“Wait a minute. Isn’t that--”

“It’s your great grandmother’s, yes,” Rafael admitted. “I had it resized.”

Emily’s heart skipped as she looked from the ring to Rafael’s eyes. He was nervous again as he waited for her reaction, but she smiled at him brightly through her tears. “Where did you get it?”

“Your father,” he said simply. “I admitted I was having a hard time deciding on a ring and he told me you might prefer this. Was he wrong?”

“No, not at all,” she assured him, her smile widening as she pulled him in for another kiss.


	21. Chapter 21

The entire night was slightly surreal. She was used to coming to these types of events. She’d had to go to many of them over the past few years, but she had always gone alone. Sure, sometimes Liz or one of the other people from her firm would go with her to keep her company. Sometimes she’d invite Kristen or Claudia. It was different, however. Until tonight, she had always been a solo act. 

Until she met, Rafael. 

Even after she and Rafael started dating, he was so weary about going to large events like this as a couple. They would arrive and leave together. They might sit together or talk to the same people, but they rarely touched and most people just assumed they were friendly acquaintances. Emily got the feeling that Rafael preferred to leave it that way. It surprised her that he’d actually agreed to come tonight. 

Being able to hold onto his arm as she walked up the steps so she wouldn’t trip in her heels. Having his hand to hold as she waited for her award so she wouldn’t fidget with her program. Being able to focus on him in the crowd as she gave her acceptance speech. They were all small things, but just having him with her was such a comfort she didn’t know she even wanted in her life until she’d met him. As she glanced over her shoulder at him, chatting to a group of architects, as she made her way to the bathroom, she couldn’t help but smile. 

When she turned back around to make her way to the bathroom, she almost ran straight into another woman coming out of it. 

“Oh, I am so sorry,” Emily blustered. 

“It’s not a--” The woman suddenly cut herself off and when Emily looked up, she realized why. 

“Mrs. Munoz,” Emily said quietly. It took her a second to get her composure back, but when she did, Emily smiled at the mayor’s wife and nodded politely as she tried to skirt around her to the bathroom.

“Miss Reinhardt, congratulations on the award.” Emily stopped and looked back up at the older woman. “And I also believe another congratulation is in order,” Yelina said, her voice growing quiet as she pointedly looked at the ring on Emily’s finger. “I hear we will soon be calling you Mrs. Barba.”

“Thank you and yes, you’ve heard right.” Emily met the woman’s eyes. She was tempted to go into the bathroom and hide, but Yelina looked as though she was waiting for Emily to do just that and Emily refused to back down. 

“I can’t say that I’m surprised. It’s so like Rafi,” Yelina said with a small laugh. Emily narrowed her eyes at the older woman, but remained quiet as she waited for her to finish. “I always knew he’d end up with a gringa.”

“Excuse me?” Emily said finally, not sure whether she should laugh or punch the woman in her smug face. 

“Don’t you see what he’s doing?” Yelina asked, her tone condescending. “He has wanted out of our world since he was a boy. He’s been trying to work his way into your upper class, white society for years and through you,” Yelina poked her finger into Emily’s chest. “He can finally do it. I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, honey, but he’s not after you. He’s after your money and your pretty white ass.”

Emily’s hands clenched into fists as she took a deep breath. Her first reaction was physically wipe the smile off the woman’s face, but instead Emily said as calmly as she could muster, “Well, I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but maybe if you spent as much time critiquing your own marriage as you did other people’s relationships, your husband wouldn’t have tried to grope every pretty white ass in this room.” Emily saw Yelina open her mouth to respond, but Emily did not give her the chance. “Now, why don’t you stop lecturing me about my fiance and go see what poor woman your husband is preying on now.”

After meeting her brown eyes with blue for a second longer, Emily growled, “No me jodas, puta.”

* * *

“Where did you even learn how to say that?” Rafael asked, not able to stop from laughing as Emily finished recounting her conversation with Yelina. He was half impressed and half amused. 

“Some of the guys like to talk shit about me in Spanish on site,” Emily said with a yawn. She had her head in his lap as they laid on the couch. She hadn’t bothered to take her dress off yet as she drank her last glass of wine of the night. Rafael ran his fingers through her still partially up hair, taking out pins he found along the way. “My demo foreman, Nilton, said to yell that if I ever heard them. It scared them at first, but now they just laugh. Chinga tu madre works, too.”

“I’ll take it Yelina did not laugh,” Rafael said, more serious now, but still grinning. 

“No, she did not,” Emily said quietly. Her blue eyes stared off at the far wall as she spoke and Rafael wished he knew what she was thinking. “She looked close to tears, but I couldn’t tell if she wanted to murder me or--”

“Her husband?”

“Or you,” Emily said, glancing up at Rafael. She met his eyes for a second before looking away once more.

* * *

“Rafael!” Emily yelled as she slammed the door to her townhouse. 

“In here,” she heard him call from the living room. Taking off her coat and practically throwing it at the coat tree in the hall, she stomped into the living room in search of him. He was lounging in one of the large leather chairs by the fireplace, his bare feet propped up on an ottoman, his laptop in his lap. He didn’t glance up when he heard her come in. “Just let me finish--”

“A prenup?” she said, her voice dangerously quiet. 

He stopped typing immediately and glanced up at her. It was almost amusing how terrified he looked, as though he’d been caught red handed, but Emily was not in any mood to find this entertaining. She put her hands on her hips and glowered at him. With a snap, he quickly shut the laptop and stood up, setting the computer on the chair. 

Walking towards her with hands raised in surrender, he said calmly, “Em, don’t get mad--”

“Too late!” she yelled. “A prenup? Are you fucking serious, Rafael? What in god’s name were you thinking? And you didn’t even ask me!”

Turning on her heel, she stormed off down the hall into the kitchen. 

“Because I knew you would never agree to even consider it!” he called after her as he followed her. “I can’t force you to sign--”

“Of course, you can’t and you won’t,” she said adamantly, pulling a bottle of red wine from the rack by the fridge. She had half a mind to throw her glass at his head. 

Rafael, however, would not relent, and calmly went on. “For it to be valid, you have to do it voluntarily. Please just read it. It makes sense.”

“So, you’re already planning on our divorce?” she accused, pouring her wine. She took a long gulp, before she glared at him again. “How much alimony are you looking for exactly? Five, ten percent?”

The words that Yelina had said to her only a week ago now were still playing through her mind. Was he really just with her for her money? She felt tears stinging in her eyes as her heart ached.

“None, actually,” Rafael said quietly. When Emily met his eyes, she saw the hurt there and her heart fell, suddenly realizing she’d misjudged the situation entirely. Resting her head in her hand, she could hear him going through his briefcase and then heard the file land in front of her on the counter. “New York is an equitable distribution state when it comes to divorce, Em. If we break up, there’s a good chance they’d give me half of what you have whether I want it or not. Your properties, your business, everything. As your future husband, I’m not going to let you risk that.”

Emily moved her hand away from her face to stare down at the folder he placed in front of her. She didn’t want to look up at his face, but finally she got enough courage. She felt ashamed of herself for thinking so poorly of him, but when she met his green eyes with her own, he only looked resigned. 

“This is what I get for marrying an attorney, huh?” she said with a sigh, glancing back down at the folder. 

“Just read it, mi amor,” he said quietly. He kissed her on the forehead before retreating back to the living room.


	22. Chapter 22

“You’re absurd.”

“Wanna make it fifty then?”

“There is absolutely no way Emily would wear boots to our wedding, let alone work boots. You may know her well, Nate, but I have to share a closet with this woman and I promise you—”

“A hundred then.”

Rafael’s eyes narrowed and he glared up at the taller man, but Nate just grinned back at him as the elevator dinged, opening up onto the floor Rafael’s office was on. The two had bumped into each other as Rafael was returning from lunch and Nate was arriving to bring the former’s secretary lunch. Rafael still had yet to figure out how Nate had been introduced to Carmen, though he had a sneaking suspicion that Nate had wrangled her number out of Emily, but if he had, Emily wouldn’t confess to it.

“Deal,” he relented as he stepped off the elevator, though as he opened the door to his office, he pointed a finger at Nate for extra emphasis. “But if she chooses blue ballet flats, you owe me an extra hundred.”

“And if she shows up in steel toes, you owe me an extra hundred! Plus, if you get a sneak peak, you forfeit.”

Rafael was about to argue, but Carmen cut them both off. 

“This bet may already be dead in the water.”

Both men looked up as if surprised that someone had overheard them. 

“Your future sister-in-law just called. Apparently, your presence is being requested at Klienfeld’s.”

“You’d better not—”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I won’t look at the shoes,” Rafael grumbled as he waved his hand at Nate as he opened the door back to the hallway. “Hold my calls, Carmen.”

It only took him about fifteen minutes to get to the bridal store. His thoughts had been running wild the entire taxi drive. She seemed to have been looking forward to this appointment all week, though he knew she was still upset about the prenup. While she hadn’t brought it up, Rafael could tell. As he stepped into the store, his stomach was in knots with worry. 

“Can I help?” a woman immediately asked him upon entering the lobby. 

“Yes, I’m here to see my fiancé—” but his words drifted off as his eyes caught site of a dress hanging on a rack close by. 

It was a ball gown with a longer train then what Emily had originally said she wanted, but it had a beautiful lace overlay on the skirt. The satin bodice had a v-neck that he could picture flattering her nicely. It felt so soft beneath his fingers as he turned it to see the scooped collar on the back and row of delicate buttons. 

“Sir?”

“Hm?” He looked up, finally peeling his eyes away from the dress and focusing back on why he was here. “Oh, right. I’m here to see—”

“Rafi! Thank god you’re here,” he suddenly heard his mother call.

* * *

Emily could hear them talking in hushed voices outside the door, but she still didn’t bother to move. Instead, she sat there on the pedestal in the center of the room, staring at her reflection in the mirror. The dress was puffed up around her like a bean bag chair, her elbows resting on her knees and her face resting on her fists. She looked more like a petulant child than she did a bride to be. 

Why had she let them take the bottle of champagne with them? She really could have used that right about now.

The voices got louder for a moment and she sighed again as she dropped her face to her knees. 

This was supposed to be one of the happier days of planning a wedding. This was supposed to be the fun part, the part all women had thought about from the time they were children. She was supposed to put on a dress, _the dress_ , and it would be like knowing that Rafael was the man she wanted to marry, right? There would be tears of joy, she’d pick a veil, put down way too much money for a down payment, and then spend the next eight months hoping she’d be able to fit into it. 

Instead, she’d tried on only one dress and dissolved into a panic attack. She hadn’t even made it out of the room. 

There was a soft knock on the door and she didn’t even bother to lift up her head. 

“Just give me one more minute!” she called, her voice muffled by taffeta. 

But whoever it was, didn’t bother to heed her and the door opened anyways. She groaned slightly and took a long breath as she heard the door close. 

“Did they all leave yet? We can just reschedule,” she mumbled, assuming it was her sister or mother, but as he sat down beside her, she could smell his familiar cologne. 

Hearing his voice only confirmed it and she peaked her head up as he said softly, “No, they’re all still waiting outside. What’s wrong, my love?”

“I told them not to call you,” she said, not able to look up at him. Her sister had suggested it, but Emily had adamantly refused. He was busy and to be honest, she wasn’t certain he would have come anyways, but here he was. 

“You can fight with Kristen about that later,” Rafael murmured, and she felt his hand rest gently on her back. Finally, she turned her face just enough to glance at him sidelong. His face was calm, like his voice, but his green eyes were worried. “Now tell me, what’s the matter? Are you getting cold feet already?”

“You’re not supposed to see me in my wedding dress. It’s bad luck.”

“And you say I’m good at evading questions,” he said, clicking his tongue in annoyance as his eyes moved down to take in the dress that was pooled up around her legs. “Are you really going to buy this one anyways? I thought you hated mermaid cuts.”

Sitting up finally, she moved her legs out in front of her to look at the skirt and shook her head. “That’s not the point, the point is—”

“Are you still upset about the prenup?”

A silence fell between them and for a few moments, Emily just stared down at her legs. Finally, she glanced up in the mirror and caught Rafael watching her, his face thoughtful. He opened his mouth to speak first, but she stopped him. 

Turning to face him, she said seriously, “I know you think you are just trying to protect me, but I don’t want some defender or guardian out of a husband, I want a partner. It’s like when you broke up with me, you made that decision for my safety without even discussing it with me. You did the same thing with the prenup.”

She waited for him to say something to argue, but he didn’t. Instead, he just reached up and moved the hair back from her face, his eyes not able to meet hers. 

“When we get married, I want to be able to share everything with you as equals. What’s mine is yours. Is that what you want out of a marriage?”

“To be honest,” he said slowly. “I’d given up hope of ever getting married long before I met you, Em. I never put a lot of thought into what I wanted my marriage to look like. No, no. Let me finish—” he said, holding up his hand when she opened her mouth to interrupt him. “All I know is you are the only woman I can envision spending the rest of my life with. I’ve been single so long I’m used to not having to answer to anyone else. I should have talked to you about the prenup first. I’m sorry.”

“You should have,” she grumbled, though she did lean forward and rest her head against his shoulder. 

“I won’t make any decisions like that in the future without talking to you first,” he promised, kissing her gently on the forehead. 

“You’d better not.”

“Do you still want to marry me?”

“I’m not signing the prenup,” she said, her voice defiant as she glanced up at him. 

He let out a deep sigh as he pushed himself to his feet and offered her his hand. 

“Well, I guess that means we have only one option then.”

“What?” she asked skeptically, eyes narrowing as she took his hand and pulled herself to her feet. 

“We can never get divorced.”

* * *

When Rafael opened the door to leave, there were half a dozen expectant faces staring at him. 

“She’s fine. I think you should maybe steer clear from organza, though,” he said lightly as he shut the door behind him. 

“What happened? What did you say?” his mother began to interrogate him, but he shook his head lightly. 

“I need to get back to work, call me later, okay?” he gave her a peck on the cheek and then waved over the consultant. “There is one dress I saw I think you should have her try on.”


	23. Chapter 23

“You did what?”

“I regretted it as soon as I did it,” he said quietly, not brave enough to look up at her face. His hands still shook as he took off his jacket and tried to hang it up in the closet with his vest. When his fingers went to undo the buttons at his wrists, he fumbled and soon felt her hands pushing his aside. 

“Then why did you?” she asked. To Rafael’s surprise, Emily didn’t sound angry or upset. Her voice was quiet, but it was even more upsetting to hear the concern and fear that tinged her voice. “Giving our address to a man who threatened to kill you on the front steps of the courthouse? That’s suicidal. Even for you.”

“You’ve got a state-of-the-art security system, ri--Ow!”

Her hands had moved from his shirt sleeve to snap his suspenders sharply against his chest. He met her glare and cowered slightly. “I’m sorry, Em,” he said finally as her hands moved to loosen his tie. 

She shook her head at him as she pulled his tie off and set it on the counter in their now shared closet. “Sometimes I think you like to make me worry,” she mumbled as her hands slowly undid the buttons on his shirt. Emily kept her gaze on her hands, but Rafael swallowed as he saw how bright her eyes looked. It made his heart ache. “Do you think he was someone from Rikers?”

“Maybe,” Rafael answered, shrugging out of his suspenders as she pushed his shirt off his shoulders. He turned away from her to toss the shirt in the hamper and place his tie back on the rack with the others. He wanted to reassure her somehow, make the crease of worry on her forehead ease, but he couldn’t think of the words to say to make her feel better. Instead he sighed and tried to pretend he was busy arranging his ties. 

Suddenly, though, her arms moved around him from behind. He could feel her cheek pressed against his shoulder blades. Rafael deflated slightly and pressed his hands against hers on his stomach. 

\-----------------------------------------------

“Two hundred dollars? That’s it? That’s almost insulting,” Emily scoffed. She set down his drink on the coaster beside his laptop on the desk and then perched on the edge as she sipped her own. 

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” he grumbled, picking up his drink to take a sip, but he didn’t glance up from his computer. 

Their home office smelled of fresh paint and wood lacquer, but the room was still only half finished. The shelves hadn’t been put up yet and the only light was a work light that hung from the ceiling. Still, Rafael had been printing off documents all evening and hadn’t even looked up when she walked into the room. Even getting a verbal answer from him was surprising. 

“Did they at least find out who paid him?” she asked, trying to hide the worry in her voice, but it was difficult. She hadn’t drunk quite enough bourbon for that. 

He shook his head, still not looking up at her, but after another minute and another few printed pages, he shut his laptop and let out a long breath. Putting the last pages into the pile of pages he’d printed earlier, he placed them in a manila folder and set them beside her on the desk. Picking up his glass, he looked up, finally meeting her gaze for the first time all evening. 

“Thank you,” he said, lifting his drink to hers. “I needed this.” He took a small. 

“What’s all this?” Emily asked, setting her own drink down to pick up the folder. 

“I’ve been keeping record of all the threats I’ve gotten over the past year,” he said. 

Emily stared at him and then back down at the folder, dumbfounded. “There’s more than twenty pages here!”

“If something were to happen to me, Emily—”

“What? What would happen to you? Do you think something is going to?”

Panic began to rise in her voice and she could feel her heart beginning to pound. Rafael set down his drink and stood up. He took the folder from her hands and set it back on the desk. Placing a hand on her shoulder and another on her cheek, he forced her to look up into his eyes. 

“I’m not saying anything will. In fact, I may just be completely paranoid,” he said slowly. “It’s just a precaution, but if something were to happen to me, I want you to take this folder and go to Olivia at SVU, okay?”

Emily nodded slowly.

“I won’t need to,” she said, her voice adamant. “You have a security detail now. Our security system is upgraded. You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

A part of her new that she was trying to convince herself as she said the words aloud, but it did nothing to soothe the knot that was forming in her stomach. Even as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss on her forehead, she felt tense. 

“Of course, mi vida. Everything is going to be all right.”

But neither of them should have spoken so soon. 

\------------------------------------------------

“Hey,” Carisi stopped Finn on his way back from the bathroom. “Have you seen Barba?”

“No, should I have?” Finn asked, giving Carisi a confused look as he headed back to his desk. 

The blonde detective followed him, shaking his head. “I just got a weird call from his secretary. Apparently, he was supposed to be in court an hour ago, he didn’t show. She wanted to know if he was here.”

“You ask Benson?” 

Carisi shook his head again. “Nah, her and Rollins are out on a call. Probably nothing, right?”

“Excuse me. I need to talk to Lieutenant Benson.”

Both detectives looked up as a brunette stopped in front of their desks. Her blue eyes were worried but set. Carisi raised an eyebrow at her. She looked as though she’d just walked off a construction site. She had on steel toe work boots, dirty jeans, and t-shirt, but despite her lack of fuss, Carisi couldn’t help thinking that she was pretty. She worried a manila folder in her hands as she stared them down.

“She’s not in,” Finn told the woman, taking a seat at his desk. “Can we take a message?”

“It’s urgent,” the woman said through gritted teeth. “It’s about Rafael Barba.”

Finn and Carisi glanced at each other, but Carisi quickly stepped in. “As Detective Tutuola said, we can take a message. Or you can step in here and wait for--”

Her face turned from fear to anger and she angrily pointed between the detectives. “You haven’t even started looking for him yet! Have you even checked with his security detail?”

“Ma’am, please calm down,” Carisi said, raising his hands up in defense. 

“Can I ask how you know the counselor?” Finn asked, standing back up from his desk again. 

“I’m his fiancé,” she snapped. 

The eyebrows of both detectives shot up immediately and they glanced at each other, then back at the woman. 

“Fiancé?” Carisi repeated in disbelief. “You,” he started, pointing at the brunette. He eyed her clothes and he was even more doubtful. “And Barba are engaged?”

“Don’t believe me? Ask him. Oh, wait,” she said through gritted teeth. “You don’t even know where he is! Are you going to keep questioning me or are you going to do something about it?”

“Ma’am, I’m going to ask you to step in here,” Finn stepped in, moving to usher the woman into one of the witness rooms. Before he could however, she held up the folder in her hand. 

“Wait,” she said, her eyes no longer angry but pleading. “You have to get this to Lieutenant Benson, please.” When Carisi and Finn still looked skeptical, she explained. “Rafael told me that if anything ever happened to him, I had to get this to Olivia Benson. Please.”

Carisi sighed and took the envelope. Looking at the heartache on her face, he suddenly felt almost convinced. “I’ll get it to her, I promise.”


	24. Chapter 24

“How long has he been missing?” Olivia asked as she returned to the squad room, Amanda not far behind her. She went straight for her office and her squad followed her. 

“According to the fiance--”

“Supposed fiance,” Carisi interrupted.

Finn grumbled, but kept going, “He left their house yesterday morning and never returned. She got a call from him around four yesterday afternoon, but it’s been radio silence since. We’re tracking his cell now.”

“If he didn’t come back last night, why is she just reporting this now?” Olivia asked, confused. 

“She was working out of town. Carmen called her this morning to ask if he was sick and that tipped her off to check the keypad at their house. That’s how she knows he never made it home,” Finn explained, shrugging. 

“She was also adamant that you see this,” Carisi said as he plopped the envelope in front of Olivia. “It’s a record of all the threats Barba’s gotten in the past year. Phone calls, text messages, emails, stops on the street. He supposedly gave this to her a week ago. Said if anything happened to him to bring it directly to you.”

“What? You don’t think she’s actually his fiance?” Rollins asked, looking at Carisi skeptically. 

“C’mon, we all know Barba. The man’s married to his job,” Carisi said, looking around for some support in his argument. “Does anyone really believe the man had enough time to get engaged?”

“I do,” Olivia said, picking up the file and heading back into the squad room. “He told me a year ago he was seeing someone. Not everyone is as open with their personal lives as you, Carisi. Where is she?”

“Witness room one,” Finn answered before mumbling to Amanda. “I honestly thought the man was gay.”

“Never mind that he even had a girlfriend, one look at this girl and you’ll know what I’m saying,” Carisi said as he followed his boss towards the witness room. “She looks like she just walked off a construction site for Christ’s sake. You can’t tell me that’s Barba’s type.”

“Holy shit,” Amanda said as they all paused in the squad room to look inside the witness room window. “Isn’t that--”

“Emily Reinhardt,” Olivia answered. 

“Good catch, Barba,” Amanda whistled before putting her hand on the witness room door. “You want me to talk to her, boss?”

“No, let me,” Olivia responded, shaking the shock out of her head. “You and Carisi see what’s taking so long on tracking his cell phone and go talk to Barba’s mother, make sure she’s okay. Finn, start pulling security cam footage, retrace his steps, and check local hospitals. Let’s make sure he wasn’t in some kind of accident.” She pushed past Rollins to the witness room, closing the door behind her with a snap. 

Rollins looked up at Carisi, whose face was still marred with skepticism and confusion, and laughed. 

“Not Barba’s type? Oh, I wish he’d gotten to hear you say that.”

“What?” Carisi asked, looking to Finn for backup, but the older detective just shrugged and walked away to start doing as he’d been told. Rollins rolled her eyes and headed towards the elevator, Carisi a step behind. “You know her? Who is she?”

“You hear about that big sexual harassment lawsuit against Tulane construction a few years back?”

“Yeah, it was all in the papers,” Carisi said, eyes narrowing as he pressed the down button on the elevator. “Girl won a couple million, now she owns some big firm of her own, right? Real success story.”

“Yeah well, that success story,” Rollins told Carisi as she stepped into the elevator. “is the future Mrs. Barba.”

* * *

“Miss Reinhardt.”

Emily stopped her pacing and looked up as she heard the door open. Her nerves faded a bit, but not by much as Olivia Benson walked in. Emily took her thumbnail out from between her teeth and placed her hands on her hips with a sigh. While she’d been hoping for a while to meet the detective again, these were not exactly the circumstances she’d been hoping for.

“Have you found him yet?”

“We’re looking, I promise,” Olivia assured her as she took a seat, setting the file Emily had brought on the table in front of her. “Please, sit. Do you want anything? Coffee? Water?”

It took her a moment to agree, but finally she relented and took a seat across from the lieutenant and shook her head. 

“Barba said he was dating someone, I never would have guessed it was you,” Olivia said honestly and Emily laughed in spite of herself. 

“I’m surprised he said anything. He was always so insistent he keep his personal life and work life separate.” Emily looked up and met Olivia’s eyes. She half expected to see the same skepticism she’d seen in the blond’s eyes there, but instead she found kindness and sincere worry that mirrored her own. 

“How did you two meet? Was it at the conference last summer?”

“No,” Emily took a deep breath and shook her head. “We were actually broken up then.” She saw Olivia’s raised eyebrow and answered her unspoken question, “After the Rudnick trial Rafael went to a...a pretty dark place. We separated for a few months. We’d been together almost a year before that. Since August of that previous year.”

“And when did you get engaged?”

“Last December, right before Christmas.” Emily quickly wiped a tear that fell without her noticing on the back of her hand. When she looked up, she found a box of tissues had been set in front of her. 

“Now, Emily,” Olivia started slowly. “Detective Tutuola said you’ve been out of town, but when was the last time you saw Barba?”

It was so strange to hear him being called by his last name, but Emily tried to focus. 

“Uh, Monday morning. We both got up early for work. He helped me put my bags in the truck. I drove him to the train station.” Her eyes clouded over and she quickly grabbed a tissue. “Have you checked the hospitals? What if he’s hurt?”

“We’re checking them now,” Olivia assured her. “Now, when did you last hear from him?”

“Yesterday. We talked on the phone for about fifteen minutes as he was walking back to his office from court,” Emily said, worrying her tissue between her fingers. “I texted him last night but he didn’t respond. I just figured he was working late. When he didn’t respond by this morning, I tried calling again with no answer. Then Carmen called--”

“Now, we know about the threats Barba recorded, but have you noticed anything strange the last few weeks? People following you?”

“Just the security detail,” she said honestly.

There was a knock on the door and Emily looked up to see the older detective from earlier pop his head into the room. 

“Lieutenant, I think I got something you’ll wanna see,” he said, his eyes glancing nervously at Emily before he looked back at his boss. 

Emily opened her mouth, panic rising back up in her stomach, to ask what it was, but Olivia quickly stood up and tried to reassure her, “As soon as we know more, we’ll let you know.” 

With that, she was out the door and it closed behind her with a thud.

* * *

“Is there no video of the person’s face?”

Finn had tracked down most of the security footage from the courthouse to the train station and had it pulled up on the screen in the squad room. It was outside the train station that they’d found footage of Barba talking to an unidentified person. The person had on a baseball cap and hood up. His back stayed to the camera the entire time as he took hold of Barba’s arm, took his cell phone from him, and guided the ADA down the steps into the station. 

“No, he kept his back to the camera the entire time,” Finn said as he pulled up another camera feed. “We got footage from his usual station in Brooklyn, but from what we can see, he never got off there. I’m trying to get transit to get the tapes from the train, but they’re not being very quick about it.”

“This man might have kidnapped a New York City district attorney,” Olivia said, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her gut as she rewatched the footage of Barba willingly handing over his cell phone. There was a look of confusion and then fear on his face. “Put on the pressure. Did we get back the trace on his cell?”

“Nothing,” Finn said, shaking his head. “Perp must have turned it off as soon as they went into the station.”

“Get the footage from the train. I want all eyes and hands on this until we find him. It’s only a matter of time before--” As if her thoughts had been heard at 1PP, her phone rang. Looking down, she saw the caller ID said ‘Chief Dodds.’

“This is gonna be a shit show,” Finn finished for her. “Mayor’s gonna have a field day. The media--”

“Let’s just find him before this leaks any further,” Olivia ordered before answering her phone and retreating to her office.

* * *

The squad room had exploded with activity in the time it took Carisi and Rollins to drive to the Bronx and collect Barba’s mom. When they got off the elevator, they were greeted by what looked like the entire precinct buzzing around, making phone calls, taking direction from Finn. As Rollins tried to find an empty chair for Lucia Barba to sit in while Carisi looked for a free witness room, Olivia left her office, followed closely by the Chief and Barba’s boss, the Manhattan District Attorney. 

“I promise you, we are taking this very seriously,” Olivia tried to assure them. 

“One of my assistant district attorney’s is missing, probably kidnapped,” the DA snapped. “If you don’t find him--”

“We will find him,” Olivia interjected, voice stern. 

“Kidnapped?” Lucia asked, looking at Rollins. “What does he mean kidnapped?”

The older woman’s voice began to raise and Rollins internally groaned. “We’re not certain, Mrs. Barba, we’re still trying to--”

“Where is he? Who took him?” 

“We still need to figure that out, if you could just help us--”

“Where is Emily? Is she alright?” 

“She’s here. She’s okay,” Rollins assured her, trying her best to lead her out of the squad room and into the 2nd witness room, but Lucia was not having it. 

“I want to see her!” Lucia said vehemently, refusing to move. She looked around feverishly, searching for Emily. “Where is she?”

“Lucia!”

Barba’s mother and Rollins both turned as Emily rushed past Carisi -- who had failed at preventing her from leaving the room she’d been left in for the past hour -- to embrace her future mother-in-law.

“Oh, thank god,” Lucia whispered as she hugged the younger woman tightly. When she pulled away, she searched Emily’s face. “They won’t tell me anything, but they said he might have been kidnapped.”

“Kidnapped?” Emily rounded on Rollins and Carisi who was still attempting, and failing to corral the women back into the witness room. “What do you mean kidnapped? By who?”

“Please, if you both will just step in here--”

“No, not until--” Emily was momentarily distracted by a call on her cell phone. She sighed, exasperated before sending it to voicemail. 

“Who was that?” Rollins asked, hoping to divert the woman from her anger. 

“Unknown caller,” Emily grumbled. “They’ve been calling all day, but they won’t leave a message.”

Carisi and Rollins glanced at each other, ignoring Emily as she continued to hound them with questions. A few seconds later, her phone rang again. It was the same caller. 

“We might need you to answer that,” Carisi interrupted her rant before rushing across the room. “Lieutenant!”

Emily glanced at her phone and back up at Rollins, confused. “Why? It’s probably just a telemarketer.” Emily made a move to answer the call, but Rollins quickly put her hands out to stop her. 

“Not yet! We’ll need to get a trace set up first,” she insisted. Finally, both Emily and Lucia fell silent as it sank in what the detectives were implying. “Please, come in here and we’ll let you know when you can answer.”


	25. Chapter 25

The phone rang for the seventh time that hour and Emily looked up at the people who’d gathered in the room. 

“Now?” She had to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. 

Olivia nodded at her, as she motioned her hands to the rest of the people in the room to silence them. “Stay calm,” Olivia directed. “If it’s the kidnapper, keep them talking for as long as possible.”

Emily nodded. 

The kidnapper. 

She suddenly felt like she was in a terrible daytime television drama, but she pushed her thoughts aside as she pressed ‘accept’ on her iPhone. Her eyes looked up at the man across the room with headphones on, praying whoever it was didn’t realize that this was being recorded. 

“Hello?”

“Emily.” 

The sound of his voice sent waves of relief through her and she immediately stood up from the table. Pacing to the window as tears welled in her eyes, she responded instantly, “Rafael! Where are you? Why aren’t you answering your phone?”

“Emily, I need you to listen very carefully,” Rafael responded. His voice was even and quiet, but Emily picked up on the fear that tinged his words and her breathing stopped. “They want five million in cash.”

“Who--”

“You have to deliver it to Penn Station at seven tonight. They’ll find you. Just you, they’ll know if you’re not alone.”

“Rafael, please. Tell me what’s going on.”

He ignored her pleadings and continued, as if reading from a script, “If you don’t show or if you bring anyone with you--” his voice hitched as he tried to finish the instructions, but instead he said quickly, as though he was trying to get the words out before they could stop him, “No vengas, Emily. Ellos no me quieren. Ellos te quieren. Esto es para el piso--”

Suddenly, his voice stopped and Emily began to shake. “Rafael? What do you mean? Rafael!”

“Line went dead,” the IT tech said from across the room, sounding annoyed. 

“Did we get a trace?” Olivia asked, obviously frustrated. 

When the tech shook his head, there was a collective groan around the room. Emily stood, staring at her phone. Her mind was replaying the words over and over. She couldn’t make out what he’d told her last. Her Spanish was basic at minimum and he was speaking too fast, but the way he said it made her even more fearful. She’d never heard him sound so scared. 

“I need to get the money,” she said suddenly. She looked at the time and became more frantic. “The bank will close in three hours and I’m supposed to meet them at seven! I need to get the money!”

“Emily, please calm down,” Olivia said quietly as the room began to empty. “We can’t let you do that. We’ll keep trying--”

“I have to!” she yelled at the Lieutenant. “What will happen if I don’t?”

Olivia ushered Emily back into a chair and rested her hands on Emily’s shoulder. “We’re going to handle this, Emily,” Olivia promised. “This is our job. We can’t put you in danger, too.”

* * *

When Carisi and Finn went back into the witness room a half hour later, they found a very disgruntled Emily sitting at the table. She had one hand propping up her face and the other was tapping her fingers in anger on the table top. 

“We thought you might like some coffee,” Carisi offered as he set the cup down in front of her and sat across the table. 

Emily glared at the coffee and then at him. Reluctantly, however, she nodded in thanks and took the cup in her hands. She continued to study him over her cup before asking, “You’re ‘night-school,’ aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Miss Reinhardt,” Finn cut in. “We just had some questions about the phone call. We listened to the recording a few times and at the end, Barba said something to you in Spanish.”

“Yes,” Emily sighed, leaning her head back against her hand. “I couldn’t make it out. He was talking too fast.”

“Well, we translated it to: ‘Don’t come, Emily. They don’t want me. They want you. This is about the floor.’” Finn handed Emily a piece of paper with the written translation. Both detectives watched her intently as she read, looking for any sign of understanding. “Then the phone went dead. Does that make any sense to you?”

“The floor? I don’t--” Suddenly, Emily went quiet. Her hands, shaking, set the cup back down on the table and clenched the paper firmly. “Are you certain this is what he said? The floor?”

Carisi and Finn glanced at each other before Carisi finally said, “Yeah, we’re sure. Do you know what that means?”

Emily was silent for a moment as she looked at the paper. Finally, she set it down and looked up at the detectives. However, both didn’t fail to notice that she refused to make eye contact with either of them and instead focused on the wall behind them. “No, I have no idea.”

* * *

When the detectives finally left, she immediately picked up her phone and called the only person she could think of who wouldn’t talk her out of this. 

“Emily? Are you okay? What’s going on? You haven’t been answering your phone all morning and Nate--”

“Eddie I need a favor,” she said quickly. “I need you to go to my bank downtown. Talk to Ashley, she’ll be expecting you. Take the bag she gives you and meet me outside the 9th street station. Bring your car.”

“Emily, I don’t--”

“Eddie, please. Just do it. I’ll explain later.”

* * *

“What do you mean, she’s gone?” Olivia shouted as she looked up from her desk. All of her detectives stood in front of her, looking mortified. “Where the hell did she go?”

“We don’t know,” Rollins said, voice quiet. “I went to bring her back into Lucia and she was gone. She left her cell phone on the table.”

“Great,” Olivia said, tossing her hands up. “Barba’s missing and now Emily is gone! I want all eyes on Penn Station. And find out where she--”

“Excuse me, Lieutenant,” an officer interrupted, sticking his head into her office. “There’s an Eddie Garcia here to talk to you. He said it’s urgent.”

Everyone stopped and stared at each other. Each had close to the same thought of what the hell was he doing here? It was Olivia who finally responded, though, shaking her head, “Tell him to wait, we’re busy.”

“You might want to talk to him,” the officer pressed. “Apparently Emily Reinhardt just stole his car.”

* * *

“Wait? How exactly do you know Emily?” Rollins had to ask after he finished telling them his story. 

“She’s my boss,” Eddie said simply. Rollins and Finn both looked at him, disbelieving. He sighed, slumping back in his chair. “I swear! I’ve been working for her for two years!”

“And you usually pick up five million dollars in cash from her bank for her?” Rollins asked, still skeptical. “Oh, I guess that must have been on your resume, ‘bag man.’”

“Five million! Listen,” Eddie said, eyes bright with worry. “I swear on my mother’s life, I wouldn’t have done it but she was freaking out when she called me. I didn’t even realize that there was that much money in the bag. It wasn’t until I met her at 9th street she started going on about Rafi being kidnapped. She asked for my car. I tried to tell her no, but she took the keys and took off.”

“And you just let her go?”

“I wasn’t going to restrain her!” Eddie said, adamant. 

“Where was she going? Did she tell you?” Finn asked. 

“She wouldn’t say. I figured she’d gone off the handle until I got here.” Eddie grew quiet and looked up at the detectives. “It’s true then. About Rafael?”

Rollins ignored his question and pressed on, “You sure you didn’t know where she was going? Or is there something you’re not saying? You did willingly let her take your car--”

“Willingly? She’s got my wallet, house keys, and my cell phone! She didn’t even give me time to grab my son’s--”

“Wait,” Finn interrupted. “Your cell is in the car? Was it on?”

“Yeah, I tried calling it from a payphone after she took off, but she wouldn’t answer.”

“She left it on,” Rollins said more to Finn. 

“We’re going to need permission to trace your phone,” Finn said as he stood up.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Violence, blood, gun violence, attempted rape.

Eddie’s phone kept going off in the passenger seat. 

She thought about answering, but her mind was made up. The third time it rang, she silenced it and shoved it into the compartment between the driver’s and passenger seat. She could have just shut it off, but Emily knew better. The text she’d received a half hour before leaving the precinct had told her to leave her phone in the squad room, but she wasn’t dumb enough to lose all connection to back up. 

We know you’re with the cops. Leave your phone, get the money, and drive to Queens. We know you’ll know where.

The words were ingrained in her mind as she got off the bridge and made a right. She was having trouble breathing and she could feel the panic attack setting in. It had become obvious once she’d read the translation of Rafael’s words where she was going, what this was really about. It made her sick the more she thought about it. 

All those arguments they’d had over her safety being compromised by his job. All those pages of threats he’d received in that folder. None of it seemed important now. It all seemed like a red herring.

It was a sick irony that the tables had actually been reversed. 

As she pulled Eddie’s car into the lot of the now abandoned commercial building, she found herself beginning to pray. It felt silly, she hadn’t been to church since her grandfather had died ten years ago, but she still prayed. 

She prayed that Eddie’s plates had been picked up on cameras. She prayed that the police had been cued in on the fact that his phone was still in the car. She prayed that they were not far behind her. More than anything, she prayed that she would not go into this building only to find her fiancé—

She couldn’t even finish that thought. 

Her heart raced as she cut the engine, grabbed the bag and stepped out of the car. She looked up at the sign on the building. The large words Tulane Construction were now covered over with ‘for lease’ signs and graffiti, but she remembered this place well. Back six years ago when trucks and equipment filled the lot. Now, it was empty and still abandoned even five years after her lawsuit had forced them into bankruptcy. 

Taking a deep breath, she walked to the back door of the building. Her mind raced and her heart beat loudly in her ears. She wondered if she would pass out before she even got through the door, but she needn’t worry. As soon as she put her hand on the handle, the door flew open and she was pulled into the building by her hair. 

“Look who finally decided to show up.” 

The bag was wrenched off her shoulder and tossed to the ground. Her hands automatically moved up to fight the painful ripping at her hair, but she was stunned into silence as she felt cold metal pressed against her temple. 

“We were getting worried, weren’t we?”

Fighting back tears of pain and fear, Emily opened her eyes. They were instantly met by green ones. 

Rafael looked up at her, his face blank, but Emily saw the fear and anger in his eyes as he watched his fiancé being held at gunpoint. Emily let out a breath of relief at seeing him alive, but both his hands were tied to the arms of a wooden chair. His face was a mess. His lip was cut and bleeding. There was blood coming from his nose, as well, and his face looked as though he’d been beaten badly. His clothes ripped and blood stained and the more Emily looked at him, the more her heart broke. 

“Rafi, are you--”

“Shut up!” 

The barrel of the gun was pressed even harder into her temple and she could hear it click as a bullet entered the chamber. “Don’t talk to him. You’re the reason he’s here in the first place, bitch.”

“Tom,” she said, trying her best to keep her voice and body from shaking. “You don’t need to do this.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he hissed in her ear. “You ruined my fucking life. I should have done this a long time ago.”

Emily tried to take deep breaths through her nose, but she was quickly realizing that there was no getting out of this. Her eyes flashed up to her former coworker. He was glaring down at her, the same look of absolute loathing she had seen before. When he’d personally been named liable by the jury and ordered to pay her one million in damages, he looked at her from across the courtroom and spat, _“You’re going to regret this, you worthless whore.”_

“I told you you would regret it,” Tom spat again. Emily shut her eyes as she felt his spit hit her face. “Not feeling so high and mighty now, are you?”

“Take the money. I’ll give you more if you want it--”

“Oh, I’m going to take the money,” he sneered. “But first I’m going to ruin your life just like you did mine.” 

Tom looked at Rafael and let out a humorless laugh. Emily’s blood ran cold as she met Rafael’s gaze once more. 

“I think I’m going to kill your boyfriend.” Emily let out a cry, but Tom silenced her with a harsh yank on her scalp. “First, though, I’m going to let him watch as I fuck you.”

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” Rafael shouted, fighting against his restraints. 

“I think you’ll both enjoy it,” Tom went on, ignoring Rafael. He took his hand out of Emily’s hair and the gun away from her head so he could push her up against the cement wall. Over his shoulder, Emily could see Rafael still pulling fiercely against the arms of the chair. Her eyes looked up at his once she noticed the arm was becoming loose. Rafael met her gaze, his eyes wild as he pulled even harder against the wood. 

“You won’t get away with this,” Emily said, meeting Tom’s gaze once more, praying that he didn’t turn around as she watched the wood snap under Rafael’s arm. 

Tom pointed the gun at her forehead and laughed, but he stopped cold at the distant sound of sirens. “You bitch,” he said quietly. “You led them here.”

“I told you you wouldn’t get away with this,” Emily responded, trying not to look as relieved as she felt. “Let us go and you might make it out of here.”

“None of us are making it out of here,” Tom responded. The look of conviction on his face as he pressed his finger to the trigger made Emily panic. 

Without thinking, her hands flew up and wrapped around the barrel of the gun to pull it down, away from her head. Not a second later, though, she could hear it explode.

* * *

“You son of a bitch!” Rafael screamed as soon as he heard the gun go off. It was the last bit of adrenalin he needed and the arm on the chair finally snapped underneath his hand. He’d been prying at it for hours, but he was too late. Fury coursing through his veins, he grabbed the piece of wood in his hand as he charged at Tom. 

The man had just enough time to turn and face Rafael, but not enough time to pull the gun up. Rafael took the arm of the chair and slammed it down onto Tom’s head as hard as his strength could manage. When Tom didn’t fall after the first blow, Rafael struck him again and again until Tom collapsed on the floor unconscious, head bloody. The gun skidded across the cement floor, but Rafael didn’t even bother to collect it. 

Dropping the bloodied wood, he immediately turned to find Emily shrunk against the base of the wall, her hands pressing to her stomach. Her entire body was shaking. She stared down at the blood coming out of the gunshot wound between her fingers before looking up at Rafael. 

“Rafi--”

“It’s okay,” he said quickly. His mind was frantic, but he quickly wrenched off his already bloody shirt and replaced her hands with his, pressing firmly down. “You’re fine, mi vida. Everything will be fine.”

The sound of sirens was getting closer, but Rafael began to panic as he looked up into Emily’s eyes. Her eyes were dark, her pupils having dilated so far he could barely see blue. She blinked at him as her breathing slowed. 

“Rafael, I’m sorry.”

“Emily, no--”

Suddenly, the door burst open and the police rushed in, announcing themselves with a yell of, “NYPD! Everyone on the ground!”

If he weren’t so concerned about Emily’s dropping eyes and the blood that quickly soaked through his shirt, he would have found it amusing as everyone obviously was already on the ground. 

Looking away from Emily, his eyes frantically searched the crowd of officers. 

“Call a bus!”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Surgery, mentions of assault, attempted rape, blood.

“Stay with us, Emily.”

Voices floated in and out of her head. She couldn’t tell who was saying what. The last coherent thing she remembered was the frantic look on Rafael’s face as cops surrounded them. She barely remembered the ambulance ride or telling the EMTs her name. 

She definitely didn’t remember looking up at one of them and saying, “If I die, make sure Rafael gets the bag back.”

“You’re not going to die,” someone was assuring her. She must have said it again. 

She opened her eyes to see florescent lights flashing overhead as she was pushed down a hallway. There was a female nurse at her side, talking to her, but Emily could barely hear her. Her heart was thudding in her ears. It felt as though her stomach had exploded and there was a dull pain radiating through her shoulder. 

When they lifted her up off the gurney, she let out a cry of pain. There were even brighter lights above her and suddenly the same female nurse was back. 

“Emily, we’ve got to put you under to get the bullet out and assess the damage. Do you understand?”

She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt tears streaming down her temples and into her hair. “Yes,” she said quietly. “Rafael--”

“Your fiancé is fine,” the nurse assured her. “You’ll see him soon. I want you to think of someplace happy, someplace safe. Can you do that for me?”

Emily shut her eyes and conjured up the mental image of the streets in Barcelona. She tried to remind herself of the feeling of Rafael’s hand in hers as they walked. When she opened her eyes again, she was almost convinced that she was back in Spain, not about to go into surgery. She nodded at the nurse. 

A mask was placed over her nose and mouth. 

“I want you to count backwards from ten for me, alright?” Emily nodded and began to count out loud. Before she got to four, everything was black. 

The next thing she knew, her hand felt wet. Someone was holding it, she realized before she even opened her eyes. When she did, she looked down to see Rafael sitting in a chair beside her bed. He leaned forward, his head and arms resting on her hand on the blanket. Emily realized that he was crying. 

“Rafi,” she said softly. His head jolted up when he heard her voice. “Don’t cry.”

Her heart broke when she saw his face. His entire face looked like one giant bruise. The nurses must have cleaned off most of the blood, but Emily could still see his cut lip and a gash that went down his right cheek. His bloodied shirt was gone, replaced with a NYPD sweatshirt one of the officers must have given him. She reached up the hand he wasn’t holding to run it along the side of his face, frowning as he winced at her touch. 

“I’m so sorry, Rafael,” she told him quietly. To her surprise, she felt tears against her cheeks once more. She didn’t bother to wipe them away as she rested her head back against the pillow, nausea and sadness overwhelming her. 

“No, mi vida,” he told her, his hands letting go of hers. She soon felt his fingers gently wiping away her tears. When she opened her eyes, she found him sitting next to her on the bed, holding her face in his hands. “This is my fault. If I had just given you a better warning--”

“He would have killed you,” Emily sobbed, reaching up to clutch one of his hands. “If it weren’t for me, he never would have--”

“Stop,” Rafael said firmly, his green eyes meetings hers. She could see the unshed tears brightening his eyes, but she could also see his look of conviction. “I won’t let you blame yourself.”

“Then neither can you,” she countered. “We’re both here. We’re okay.”

“We’re going to be,” Rafael corrected as his eyes traveled to her IV and the beeping monitor at her bedside.

* * *

The ER waiting room began to get more and more crowded. Emily’s family showed up in droves, demanding to know what had happened. They were joined not long after by various employees of the woman and friends of both her and Rafael. Olivia sighed as she watched one of Emily’s sisters embrace Rafael’s mother. While she was relieved that this had an overall happy ending, it was bittersweet. 

“Lieutenant.” Olivia looked up and saw the Emergency Room doctor walking towards her. “Mr. Barba has been examined, you can talk to him now.”

“And Emily?” Olivia asked. 

“She’s out of surgery, but she needs to rest.” The doctor glanced at her family before lowering his voice. “She got lucky. It burst her spleen, but the bullet missed all her other organs. Another centimeter to the right--” He stopped himself, shaking his head. 

“Thanks, doc.”

“Any word?” Olivia turned around and realized that Rollins had joined her, looking anxious. 

“She’s out of surgery,” Benson answered with a sigh. “Let’s go talk to Barba and give her time to come to.”

Rollins nodded and followed Olivia past the officer guarding the Emergency Room door. They knocked and then opened the door to the room Barba was supposed to be in only to find it empty. 

“Where the hell’d he go now?” Rollins said, exasperated. 

“Excuse me!” Olivia flagged down a nurse. “Where is he? You couldn’t have just let him walk out of here!”

The nurse scoffed, rolling her eyes. “The man has three broken ribs and a concussion. No, I did not let him walk out of here.” 

When Olivia and Rollins continued to stare at her, she sighed and nodded her head down the hall. “Check room 201,” she instructed before stalking off. 

When they walked into the room in question, Benson and Rollins found Barba sitting on the side of Emily’s bed as his fiancé turned up the volume on the television they were watching. 

“Evidence had better get that bag back,” Emily grumbled to Barba as they watched the news footage of the police still processing the crime scene. “Wait, he’s in here, too? In the hospital? How bad did you beat him?”

“Not bad enough,” Barba grumbled, his hand balling into a fist. Emily reached out and un-pried his fingers so she could take his hand in her own. 

“You shouldn’t be watching this,” Olivia interrupted as she shut the door behind Rollins. The couple both looked up at her. Emily’s eyes were glazed over and hazy, obviously still drowsy from her surgery and pain medication. Barba simply sighed and looked stubborn. “But then again, you,” Olivia said pointing at Barba. “Should still be in your room and you, Emily, should be resting.”

“I am resting,” she grumbled, resting her head back on the pillows and blinking up at the detectives. 

Barba picked up the remote and turned down the volume on the television. “When will he be charged?”

“The doctor said he should be well enough to be arraigned in a couple of days,” Olivia answered and Emily immediately started to bluster, but Barba quickly took her hand and kissed it, whispering something to her to calm her. “It would really help if we could get your statements before then. Separately.”

“But--”

“It’s okay, cariño,” Barba quickly assured her. He kissed her on the forehead before standing up, he winced in pain slightly. “I’ll come right back.”

When they stepped into the hallway, Barba collapsed into the first chair he found and looked up at the detectives with a grimace. “Remind me to never piss off a construction worker again,” he tried to joke as he rubbed the side of his chest. “Bastard took his steel toe boots to my ribs when I wouldn’t make the call.”

“Did you know the man who took you?” Rollins asked, taking a seat next to him. 

“No,” Barba answered with a sigh. “But he knew Emily. He was one of the people named in her lawsuit six years back.”

“So, this was what, pay back?” Olivia asked, beginning to understand. 

“Apparently,” Barba said quietly. His eyes grew cold as he stared down the hallway, his mind obviously elsewhere. “He told me if I didn’t get her there, he’d shoot me and bury my body under a foundation somewhere.”

“Then why did you try to tip her off?” Rollins asked, remembering the phone call from earlier that day. 

Barba looked up at Rollins, face stony. “Do you really think I wanted her walking into that? The man didn’t give a shit about the money.” He was quiet for a second before he told them under his breath, “When she got there, he said he was going to make me watch while he raped her.” His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed heavily, tears forming at the corner of his eyes. “Then he was going to make her watch as he killed me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Rollins said quietly, resting her hand on his arm. 

“What happened then?” Olivia pressed on. “How did Emily end up shot and he get bludgeoned?”

Rafael explained as calmly as he could. “He heard the sirens and panicked. He went to shoot her in the head but she pushed the gun away. It hit her in the abdomen instead.” With a deep breath, he looked at Olivia. “I broke out of my bonds, grabbed a piece of the chair, and hit him until he was subdued.” After a short pause, he added, “I should have killed him.”

“We’ll pretend we didn’t hear that,” Rollins said, glancing at Olivia who nodded. 

“Rafael!”

Emily’s family apparently had been allowed to visit and Olivia looked up to find three dark haired men approaching the ADA. Rafael sighed and waved halfheartedly at them before turning back to Olivia. “Are we done?”

“For now,” she answered, reaching out a hand to help Barba to his feet. “You and Emily will both need to testify.”

The look Barba gave her was almost comical. His eyebrows shot up as he rounded on her. If he wasn’t standing in front of her in an NYPD sweatshirt, face cut and bruised, she would have sworn they were back in his office and he was about to tell her he was going to file some ridiculously unrealistic charges against a perp. 

“Well then, I’ll see you in court, Lieutenant.”


End file.
